Naked Pit Reimagining @woodyk
The Return of Palutena

Notes:

While the flying segments would remain mostly the same, descriptions of the on-foot segments would sort of be like "God of War" (Pit would even have a pair of blades similar to what Kratos uses). This would be mostly because the enemy count would be much, much, much, MUCH higher. Don't worry, it will still be the goofy Kid Icarus we all know and love, just with more action in vain of "Clash of the Titans" and "God of War"... and with nudity.

Goddesses like Palutena and Viridi are naked with a golden glow... and are the size of TITANS! This means that they are roughly as big as Hades and Medusa.

A female joins Pit, one with strong military skills like Julius Caesar.


The story begins with a completely naked angel boy known as Pit, who wore nothing except for his laurel wreath and had only his Blade in hand as he declared, "Sorry to keep you waiting!"

In a black room, two double doors opened. Pit flew past them and into the blue skies with the power of flight keeping him aloft, adding, "It's been too long, Lady Palutena!"

Palutena, the equally naked Goddess of Light, said, "We can chat later, Pit, but now it's time to fight! The Underworld Army's invading!"

Flying though the blue skies, Pit was introduced to not one, not two, but three Monoeyes. He quickly zapped them his laser gun as he exclaimed, "Whoa! You weren't kidding!"

More Monoeyes appeared, but Pit was able to destroy them all with his Blade. As he kept powering through the assault of singular ocular abominations, he pondered, " If these are Underworld troops, are you saying Medusa's been..."

Palutena explained the situation of Medusa being reborn, "...resurrected. Yes. Though the Goddess of Darkness was defeated long ago, she's back now. And as the Goddess of Light, it's my duty to protect humanity from her."

"Eh, you worry too much!"

After fighting in the air with more Monoeyes and some Wave Anglers, a naked Pit witness the sky turn red as Medusa herself appeared, also completely nude. Her eyes glowed as he yelled, "Medusa!"

Medusa taunted, "Hello there, Pit. And you too, Palutena. Here to crash my homecoming party?"

As the dark goddess sent even more Monoeyes to attack Pit, Palutena answered, "Uh... this really doesn't look like much of a party."

"What better way to celebrate my return than with a festive little bloodbath? After all, I have been gone for 25 years."

Abruptly, Medusa disappeared as the sky transitioned back from red to blue. The naked angel worried, "They're moving their attack to the ground!"

In response, Palutena stated, "Then so are we!"

While being led to ground level to search for the town, Pit laughed, "I can't believe I'm actually flying!"

"The Power of Flight is my gift to you, nudie cutie. I'll control your routes so you can focus on battle, but I can only maintain this power for five minutes at a time. After that, your wings will burn up and you'll fall."

Pit looked scared, "You have no idea how embarrassing it is to be an angel who can't fly on his own, but thanks for your help. Without you, I'd be finished!"

"When you're not firing, you'll go into a glide that makes it easier to dodge attacks. Holding your fire also builds up charged shots. Aim carefully and use them wisely."

Still, Pit was flying in the nude, being attacked by Underworld troops sent by Medusa. Thankfully, he took them out easily. His naked goddess eventually asked, "How are things looking to you? Your destination should be coming into view now."

He saw the town; it was sort of a mix between Ancient Greece and Rome... with a bit of Nordic culture thrown in for good measure. Upon reaching the town, it was clear that the Underworld Army had already begun its rampage as many buildings in the area burned. Pit was horrified, "Now they're attacking the town? This isn't right!"

"The people need your help. I better get you over there."

Confetti appears in the air and Pit will then proceed to fly down to ground level, but not before stating, "Do you hear that? Do you hear the people's cheers?! They're celebrating the return of the Goddess Palutena!"

"Despite the Underworld invasion, the people haven't lost hope. It's our duty to protect them. Prepare for land battle, nude dude."

Upon reaching the ground, Pit's bare feet made contact with the brick floor under him as fund himself in what looked like a maze. He proceeded down an alley and through the streets of the town and was greeted by more Underworld troops. Palutena reminded him, "You're here to help the townsfolk, so wipe out as many monsters as you can."

"I'm on it!"


Near the fountain, a woman dressed like a Japanese schoolgirl with short brown hair looked at the naked boy and wolf whistled, "Lookin' good."

Pit looked at the female acknowledging him and asked, "Who are you?"

"I go by the name of Takako Caesar."

"Any relation to Julius Caesar?"

"Yes, actually. He was a very talented military strategist and politician. Julius really knew how to plan for a lot of things, which made him a powerful dictator. People tell me I'm basically the female equivalent of him because I actually served in the army years ago."

"Whoa. Mind blown."

"Plus, imagine me as an army version of Takako Suzuki from "Girls und Panzer" since people also say that I bear a strong resemblance to her. With her beauty and his militaristic prowess, I quickly alerted my regiments of surprise gas attacks, healed wounds, and seduced enemy soldiers before kicking them where it hurt the most."

"Wait, you mean you kick them in their penises to make them fall to their knees and cover their crotches in pain?"

"Yep, but don't worry, I ain't gonna do that to you as long as we're on the same side."

"Phew. I'm guessing you're on the side that defeats all the monsters ravaging the town, right?"

"Duh."

"Good, that's the side I'm on."

"Hee hee."

"What's so funny?"

"The size of your penis. How small is it?"

Pit giggled and blushed as she ogled his little cock, "Well, when flaccid, my dick is only half of an inch long. That's what I got for my measurements."

"Goddamn, that's too tiny."

"However, watch what happens when sexual arousal gets me erect."

Takako's eyes widened in fascination as Pit's penis grew not only hard, but also longer as it started pointing forward instead of down. Even his testicles and scrotum increased in size. She gasped as her eyes almost popped out of her skull, "Oh. My. God. Did you also measure how huge it is when in an excited state?"

With his hands on his hips, Pit smiled as he showed of his boner with pride, "About two whole feet."

"This is... astounding to say the least! It's not like other boys to have a cock size that transitions from one extreme to the other."

"That's the thing, I'm not like other boys. I'm not even a mortal human being."

"Yeah, I had a feeling about that when I noticed the white wings on your back. I assume that's why you choose not to wear any clothes and just walk around naked everywhere you go?"

"I don't even know what clothes are."

"Shirts, pants, dresses, skirts, socks, shoes, undergarments, anything to hide your unmentionables from the public."

"Never hid them, I just let it all hang free."

A giggle escaped Takako when Pit playfully flicked his large rod, making it bounce up and down noticeably. She then walked closer to Pit until they made direct eye contact, lifting her leg so his erection would be wedged between her thighs as she stood right in front of him. At 165 centimeters, she was slightly taller than the five-foot-three angel. Given Pit's total nakedness and how his cock was rubbing between her leg, Takako couldn't control herself as she kissed the naked boy.

Her dressed body against his unclothed one was sensational. He liked the feeling of his uncovered chest touching her white shirt. That combined with her green skirt against his crotch and his bare feet on top of her brown shoes rendered Pit unable to stop moaning as they snuggled. All of it reminded him that Takako was fully clothed while he was the complete opposite.

Moving her legs created friction that heated up Pit's cock. Squeezing his butt cheeks only made his moans louder as she whispered, "Let's empty out those two big balls of yours. Nothing would make me stop now."

Shemums, more Monoeyes, Gyrazers, and Nettlers were everywhere. Takako told Pit, "I stand corrected. Enough time was spent telling you about myself. We better stop yakking and start attacking. We can have sex a little later."

"Great idea. Maybe in a chapter or two, I can tell you some stuff about me."


Enemies were just as dangerous on the ground as they were in the air. Pit and Takako knew that they must battle through the streets and defeat all of the enemies. Being naked meant that Pit couldn't store his gear anywhere. Palutena snapped her fingers, Pit's blade was gone, and he now had the Palutena Bow, which was split two short swords and chained around his wrists and forearms.

The way he took out all the bad guys involved using swinging the swords in all sorts of maneuvers, like up, down, sideways, and diagonal. His agility allowed him to easily dodge the enemies' attacks. Every time he defeated a foe, his naked body got drenched in blood as he sliced every last one in half or cut off their heads. He looked down at himself and commented, "Good thing I don't wear anything at all to cover my skin. I'd hate to get anything other than my sexy bod dirty."

There were even instances of food being dropped by enemies, like ice cream. He rolled some ice cream around the blood on his nude body but was disgusted after one lick, "Ugh, floor ice cream tastes better without blood."

Meanwhile, Takako came prepared with a submachine gun, specifically an M3 Grease Gun. After all, they were similar in functionality compared to shooting items that Pit usually had with him. Bullets were flying everywhere and into enemies while there was not a scratch on her, but a few squirts of blood got on her as she pointed out, "Being nude means he's not getting any clothes soiled, so I think he made the right choice."

Through a gate, Pit and Takako battled a powerful enemy known as a Crawler, which resembled a massive tank that had a weak spot on its back. It was accompanied by two Gyrazers, which they took out quickly. However, the naked boy and the clothed woman needed to do quite a bit of running to attack the Crawler's weak spot. They got hit and pushed back a few times, but managed to destroy it, resulting in Pit and Takako's entire front sides getting all red with blood. Wiping their eyes, they looked for more enemies.

Again, the sky turned red as Pit faced several Kerons and Skuttlers by wildly thrashing his swords around. Likewise, Takako kept a safe distance while firing at them. When he heard something, he asked, "Uh... wh-what was that?"

What Palutena said was, "Medusa has unleashed an evil beast in the coliseum! You need to hurry there!"

"No kidding, we'll serve up a combo of pain!"

Pit and Takako made their way to the structure to face whatever beast was unleashed. A multitude of staircases led up to the colosseum, lined with various enemies, like Miks. As the nudie and his ally made their way to the top, a giant Wrecking Ball rolled back down the staircases after them, defeating any enemies in the way. Once they made it past all of those obstacles, they were free to enter the colosseum itself and face the beast. A nude Pit was surprised as he saw a two-headed guard dog engulfed in flames, "TWINBELLOWS!"

Palutena elaborated, "The Underworld's faithful watchdog."

It was summoned by Medusa as a flaming ball of fire to secure her hold on the town. Twinbellows moved very fast in battle as Pit stated, "Old Pit's gonna teach you some new tricks. Now play dead!"

All Twinbellows did was lunge at Pit, knocking him back into a wall and giving him a small burn on his stomach. Takako kept shooting with her M3, she was more careful at staying out of the dog's way. To her, Twinbellows' most dangerous attack was when it charged directly at them, a maneuver it repeated at least four times. Fortunately, after Twinbellows used that move, it will hit its head on the wall of the Colosseum, making it vulnerable for Pit and Takako to attack. He quipped, "Like an all-you-can-hurt buffet!"

With not much ammo left, Takako made her last bullet count. What did she do? She shot each head in the eyes, both sets of eyes bled as the dog was finally put down. Pit cheered, "Yeah! Victory is ours!"

Palutena commended, "Excellent job, Pit! You and your friend did great!"

Takako giggled as she kissed Pit's lips, "Let's pick from where we left off. Good thing your sex organ hasn't shrunken back to less than one inch yet."

On his left, she kneeled down and gave him a handjob, Pit brought up, "I don't think we left off with this."

She smiled, "I know, but this was what I wanted to do before the interruption."

"Oh. Carry on."

With one hand, Takako pumped Pit's dick from the shaft to the glans and back. The other hand tugged his ball sack. Takako even kissed and licked his member. Pit moaned at her, "Keep doing what you're doing to me. It's too wonderful for words."

"I bet you do this every day."

"At least once a day. Lady Palutena is a goddess the size of a titan, so she needs me to have a big erection for satisfying her."

"Did she magically give your private part the unique qualities it has?"

"Pretty much."

"Since she's kind of like a giant, she can fit your two-foot hardness into her mouth and vagina easily?"

"Correct."

Takako stopped everything she did and looked doubtful as she put herself in front of the tip, "I honestly don't think I can even take in half of this manhood."

Pit assured her, "You don't have to. Just take in as much as you can. Don't force yourself or make yourself choke."

"Thanks."

After taking a deep breath, Takako managed to stuff six inches of his dong into her mouth before her throat got a little uncomfortable. It was good enough for her and for Pit, who groaned as she bobbed her head back and forth. She stopped when the tip of Pit's penis touched her lips, then she took it back in. The process repeated ten times. He even hastened his own orgasm by holding his special part with a loose fist while moving the hand up and down as much of the shaft as he could without falling, he let out a gasp, "Double trouble. I love when a woman helps me make my colossal pee-pee spurt semen."

Oral stimulation from Takako and manual stimulation from himself allowed Pit to eventually achieve his climax, he warned her, "I think I'm about to cum! I can feel it!"

Immediately following that sentence was Pit's ejaculation. His seed filled Takako's cheeks, and she happily swallowed it all before grinning, "Wow. Your big cock delivered big results, I almost spilled it out of my mouth."

"I'm glad it impressed you."

"Damn right it did. Now that thing is reverting back to being a micropenis."

Looking down, Pit saw his pee-pee become soft and small again. As it deflated like a balloon, his testes and sack also shrunk back to their original small sizes.


With Twinbellows having gone bye-bye, the sky was blue again as Medusa appeared, making the bare boy warn her, "Listen well, Medusa! Your days of darkness are numbered. Prepare to meet the light!"

However, the green-haired goddess told him, "Let's return for now. This was just our first step in defeating Medusa."

Pit asked the army woman, "You want to come with me up to the heavens, Takako? The Goddess of Light can give you a job."

"Sure. I'd love a good job opportunity."

"Great. Lady Palutena?"

Palutena said, "What, Pit?"

"Can I bring Takako with me? She was really helpful with her military experience; she can even serve as a human representative of your army."

"Of course, we can always use someone who's tough as nails from fighting in wars."

A light shone on Pit and Takako; the beam carried them up in a manner similar to how a UFO's light would suck someone up.

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