To Purgatory and Back @mystic75
Chapter 11

"What did you do, Kate?," I whispered. She continued to rub her wrist with the thumb of her other hand while she stared into the darkness. That subconscious gesture should have told me all I needed to know.

"He always kept his arm around me in a death grip when we slept, so I couldn't get away." She wrapped her arms around herself protectively and shivered. She looked so fragile at that moment that it was hard to think of her as a dangerous predator. "And one night, after a particularly brutal... encounter, I decided it was time."

"Time for what?," I croaked, my throat suddenly closing on me without warning. When she turned those haunted eyes on me, I knew without her having to say a word.

"I chewed open my wrists and made sure the wounds didn't close." I heard a soft whimper and when I looked down, Lydia's face was buried in my side and I could feel her trembling. Had she thought about doing that very same thing? I wouldn't be a bit surprised if she had. When I looked back up at Kate, a single tear rolled down her cheek and off her chin. "By the time I passed out, my body was too week to heal itself."

"I'm sorry, Kate," I whispered. Nobody deserved what she went through and I regretted that I couldn't have done more to help her after what happened to her sister. She saved our asses by killing her own sister! And how did I thank her? I thanked her by threatening to kill her if she slipped up! I felt ashamed. Ashamed of what a dick I had been to her the whole time I knew her. I never trusted that she was really a good person. I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and I would have to kill her. But now... all I felt was guilt. Guilt for my suspicion. Guilt for my belief that she was nothing more than a monster. A monster that wasn't worthy of compassion. Frankly, I felt like I was gonna be sick.

"It's not your fault, Dean," Kate said. "It was for the best, really. I have a purpose here. Back there, I was a mess with no direction. A ship with no rudder."

"A purpose? Here?" A smile crept across her face and she looked around at the other members of her pack.

"Yeah! I mean, do you even realize what happens to most of us? The ones who are at the bottom of the pecking order?" Kate looked at me with pleading eyes.

"I... I never really thought about it," I said kind of confused. "I didn't realize there WAS a bottom."

"There is, Dean! And it's no picnic!" Kate grew angry and I held my hands up in surrender before she took a deep breath to calm herself. "None of these people had a good life. Being slaves to the wants and desires of higher ranking pack members is no life at all."

"Even the men?", I groaned in disgust.

"Yes! Even the men!", she growled, her eyes flashing yellow for a moment.

"But, some of these guys are huge!", I hissed under my breath, remembering the giant werewolf that jumped on me back at the fallen tree. Trying to picture him being forced by another werewolf was hard to imagine.

"There's always a bigger wolf," Kate muttered angrily, looking away. I sighed and looked out at Kate's pack sitting around the fire. Some were talking, even laughing. But most of them just sat, staring into the flames. I felt wretched. All the years hunting these monsters and I never knew what horrid things some of them were subjected to. Would that knowledge have changed anything? I didn't know. And that only made me feel worse.

"Well, at least your not alone," I said with a sigh. "I mean you have people hear that know what you're going through."

"You're the only person I've ever told, Dean." I looked at her with my eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "And you're the only one I will EVER tell."

"Why?", I asked, still confused. Why wouldn't she want to confide in people who knew how she felt. "These people can help you heal, Kate!" I was trying hard to keep my voice down, knowing that werewolves have exceptional hearing, but it wasn't easy.

"Dean, you don't understand the pack dynamic," Kate sighed irritably. "These people draw their strength from me and if I told them what happened to me and what I did, they would see that as weakness. The pack would fall apart. Especially a pack full of broken souls." She looked up at the people sitting on the other side of the cave and then back at me. "This pack... these people would be vulnerable and defenseless against the other packs."

"I get it," I whispered. Even tho I really didn't.

"Maybe you guys should get some rest," Kate whispered. She wasn't looking at me, but at the woman leaning heavily on my side. I looked down again and saw that Lydia had fallen asleep with her fists clutching my jacket. "There are some moss patches growing against the back of the cave that you can sleep on. And you'll have some privacy."

"What about them?," I asked looking at the others.

"Oh, they mostly stay near the entrance and and close to the fire. Especially tonight when the threat is higher." I nodded and turned to the sleeping woman curled up against me.

"Hey," I whispered softly. "Lydia." I nudged her until she jerked awake with a gasp. "It's ok, Babe! It's just me. Why don't we go lay down, huh?" She just whimpered into my jacket as I pulled her up from the stone and led her into the darkness at the back of the cave. I kept one arm wrapped around her waist and my other hand against the stone wall until I felt soft moss giving way under my boot. I walked along the wall until I found a large enough patch for both of us to lay down on and lowered Lydia gently down onto the soft green carpet. I laid down next to her, keeping myself between her and the entrance to the cave. She snuggled up against me instinctively, already mostly asleep again. I wrapped myself around her protectively and was asleep almost as quickly.

I was awakened by shaking. I was groggy and forgot where I was. I thought that I had woken up to an earthquake. But then I felt arms wrapping around my waist and heard soft panting and whimpering. That's when I realized where I was and who was pressed up against my chest.

"L-Lydia? You ok?" It was too dark to see anything so I just held her close.

"Dean! Please! It hurts!," she whined against my chest. Her heat had hit her full force in the night and she had her legs curled up against her stomach. "Please make it stop!" Her fingernails were clawing at my shirt trying to pull me closer and I knew I'd have some pretty decent marks on my sides in the morning. I looked over my shoulder and saw that most of the pack had already bedded down and the only two still awake were Cas and Kate. They had their backs to me, seeming to be deep in conversation. If they heard what was happening, they didn't react.

"Ok, Babe. I gotcha." I rolled her onto her back and started to pull her shorts off. When my fingers touched her skin, I felt the heat coming off her body and the sweat making her clothes stick to her. I shucked off my jacket and then peeled off my shirt and then hers. Maybe skin on skin contact would help. I yanked my pants down to my knees and laid over her quickly. "Hold on, Sweetheart!" I rubbed myself against her soaked folds and she gasped when the head of my cock slid against her clit. That noise got me so aroused that my dick hardened almost painfully. When I sank into that moist heat, the whole world slipped away. It was just her and me again and I didn't want to ever lose that feeling. It felt like I could breathe again after being held under water. It was so much stronger now than the first time with her. It was like the stronger her heat got, the stronger my feelings for her were.

"Alpha!," Lydia breathed against my neck as she bucked her hips up into me. I groaned when the name only made me harder. Why that one word should have such a strong effect on me, I will never know. But it made me thrust harder and Lydia pressed her mouth into my shoulder to stifle the sounds that came pouring out of her uncontrollably. Her body was like fire against my skin but it never felt so good, our sweat mixing together on each other's bodies.

"You feel so good, Baby!," I whispered huskily in her ear. I was so close, but I didn't want it to be over. I wanted to stay like this forever. I slowed my pace and she whimpered, trying to pull me closer. "What do you want, Baby?," I panted, planting a quick kiss on her heated lips.

"Wha... what?," she asked, trying to comprehend what I had just said. I rolled my hips into her deeply and she moaned.

"What... do... you... want?" I punctuated each word with another deep roll of my hips and by the way she was panting I could tell that I was hitting all the right spots.

"I... I want... you to... make love... to me!," she panted, digging her nails into my shoulders.

"I'm already doing that. What do you want?" I smirked down at her but I didn't know if she could see it in the darkness. I had slowed so much that I wasn't thrusting anymore, just swirling my hips in slow circles.

"I d-don't understand," Lydia whimpered. I dropped my head into the crook of her neck and dragged my teeth over her sensitive skin. She gasped and shuddered hard. "Yes, Alpha!," she rasped out almost too loudly. "Claim me! Please!" I had to place a finger against her lips to quiet her as I leaned up on my elbows and started renewing my quick pace again. She tried hard not to let the noises out and by the way her voice was muffled, I could tell that she had a hand clamped tight over her mouth. That high was so close, right there in my sights! So close! I dropped my head and pressed my open mouth to the spot where her neck and shoulder came together. Then my climax hit me like a freight train! Hit me so hard, I was seeing white and my teeth clamped down on her tender flesh. I slapped my hand over hers covering her mouth just as she screamed out her own release. Her blood hit my tongue making my balls seized up, squeezing another hot stream into her.

"Mmmmm...," I moaned, pulling my teeth out of her flesh. I shuttered at the sweet taste as I licked the sweet red blood from her shoulder. I had no idea it would taste like that. Blood was supposed to be salty and taste like copper. But hers was almost like the nectar from a Honeysuckle blossom. I continued to lap at the wound until it stopped bleeding and then rolled to the side, pulling her with me so that we were facing each other. I pulled my jeans up and laid my jacket over Lydia. I held her close and she heaved a contented sigh.

"Thank you, Alpha," was all she said as she drifted off again. I just laid there staring into the blackness for a long time with only one thought playing in my head like a broken record.

"No turning back now."

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