My Curse @mystic75
Chapter 13

I had intended chapter 12 to be the end, but a reader wanted more. I was going to give her a short epilogue, but it turned into a full blown chapter. So, THIS will be the REAL end. Maybe. LOL!


Y/N'S POV

The first few months after the mark was removed from Dean's arm were rough. Dean wouldn't talk and he lost a lot of weight from barely eating. When he did sleep(which wasn't often) he had horrible nightmares that had him screaming in terror. He would shout my or Sam's names, but would remain silent when we tried to get him to open up.

And Sam was almost as bad. He hovered over me protectively, never letting me get near Dean unless he was right there. Not that I was able to get too close to Dean anyway. With him so fearful of becoming that monster again, Dean kept his distance. And when I caught Sam staring at me, he would look away quickly. I knew that he blamed himself for what happened to me. He was constantly saying how sorry he was. That if he hadn't tried to take advantage of me, he would have seen Dean coming. I tried to explain to him that it wasn't his fault. That he didn't take advantage of me, but Sam wouldn't listen. It was getting to the point that if I had to listen to another "I'm sorry", I would lose my mind.

It all came to a head three months after that God awful day.

I was in the kitchen that morning, fixing coffee while Sam sat at the table eating a bowl of corn flakes. I was filling the pot with water when I heard soft footsteps from the hall. I turned and saw Dean standing in the doorway. He had his head lowered, looking at me timidly through his long eyelashes. He rung his hands together anxiously like he was waiting for someone to give him permission to come in.

"Dean?", I whispered in shock. Sam spun around in his seat and stared at Dean, wide-eyed, with a spoon sticking out of his mouth. Dean hadn't been out of his room in so long that I had almost forgotten what it was like to see him anywhere else. He was so pale and thin that it didn't look like him anymore. He looked like a ghost. I relaxed my shoulders and made my way over to the coffee maker, trying to look like this was an everyday occurrence. "You want something to eat?", I asked pouring the water into the machine. I looked back at Dean over my shoulder and he nodded shyly. I smiled as Dean walked slowly toward the table and sat next to his brother. Do want some cereal? Or do you want me to make you eggs and bacon?" Dean just shook his head, grabbing an empty bowl that was sitting on the counter and the corn flakes.

""It's good to see ya out and about, Dean", Sam said with a smile. He reached up to put a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean flinched away. Sam lowered his hand quickly and looked away, frowning. My heart broke for Dean. It was like he was the one that had been assaulted instead of me. But, when I thought about it, I realized that he had been. The mark had total control of him at the end, making him do things that he would never have done otherwise. I couldn't imagine what he had been through all those months that he was gone. How much innocent blood did the mark force him to spill to satisfy it's hunger.

For the rest of the morning Sam and I tried to make Dean feel normal. We talked to each other and to him, while Dean just ate and listened. He didn't interact, but I noticed that he watched us intently. He wasn't withdrawn into himself anymore. I thought he was finally turning the corner. After breakfast, Dean retreated back into his room. I tried not to worry too much. I had to tell myself that just eating breakfast with us was a big step for Dean, considering what he had been through. I decided to make Dean's favorite, bacon cheeseburgers, for lunch. I hoped that the delicious smells coming from the kitchen would draw him out of hiding again. But when the burgers were done and only Sam showed up, I got worried again.

"I'm gonna go se if Dean wants to join us for lunch", I said to Sam as I headed for the hall.

"You want me to come with?", Sam said around a mouthful of burger. I smiled as I turned to face him. It was the first time Sam didn't jump to his feet and follow me whether I wanted him to or not.

"Nah, I got this", I said, waving him off. "I'll take him a burger, if he's not up to it." I walked out of the kitchen and down the long corridor toward the bedrooms. I could hear music playing, soft and slow. It was so unlike what Dean normally listened to. It wasn't until I could actually tell what was playing, that I actually became concerned. The song was "Fare Thee Well". I didn't know why it should send a shiver up my spine, but it did, and that terrified me. I hesitated in front of Dean's door, afraid of what I might see on the other side. I finally raised a shaking hand and knocked quietly on the door. "Dean?" When I didn't get an answer, I swallowed hard and a giant lump caught in my throat. Something was horribly wrong, I could feel it.

I turned the knob, expecting it to be locked. But the door swung open easily with a loud creak. Dean was sitting up on the edge of the bed, facing away from me and I huffed a giant sigh of relief that he was ok. But when he didn't turn around when it was obvious that there was someone else in the room, my fear peaked again quickly. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and his shoulders slumped. He was holding something shiny, but I couldn't quite tell what it was. I looked over at his desk and he had an old turn table playing a record, that haunting song playing softly. I walked through the door, my knees shaking terribly.

"Dean? Are...are you OK?", I croaked. I couldn't get that damn lump to go down and I was shaking. When I called his name, he raised his head, but didn't turn around. After a moment, he dropped his head back down again. He never made a sound. I closed the door behind me with a soft click,When I was close enough that I could see the object that Dean was holding, I froze and all the air rushed out of me like I'd been punched in the gut. He was holding his chrome plated .45 with the pearl grip. His favorite gun. It was like an extension of himself. He never went anywhere without it. He stared down at that gun, caresing the grip with his thumb almost lovingly.

"You need to go, y/n", Dean growled sternly. It was the first time I had heard him speak since that day. I had expected his voice to be quiet and raspy from lack of use, but that is not what I heard. His voice was strong and commanding like it had always been. Like nothing had ever happened. It terrified me.

"Wha... what?", I whispered, not really comprehending what he had just said.

"I want you to leave and not look back. No matter what you hear." My brain suddenly caught up to what he was telling me. He wanted me to leave so he could kill himself. My mouth opened and then slammed shut again. My feet started to move, almost of their own accord. But it wasn't toward Dean or the door. My feet carried me over to the desk and in front of the portable record player, still playing that fucking song. I leaned over it with my hands gripping the edge of the desk. I silently watched the record spinning as the song ended and the needle skipped in the center of the record. The room was quiet save for that scratching skip coming from the speaker. I suddenly felt something else in the pit of my stomach. Something that wasn't fear. It was anger. I grabbed the side of the turn table and violently shoved it off of the desk and it crashed into the wall on the other side of the small room. I stayed there, leaning over the desk, panting hard.

"Y/n?", Dean called out softly. I turned to see him standing next to the bed, the gun still in his hand down at his side. The look in his eyes was one of defeat.

"You selfish Bastard!", I hissed at him. The look of shock on his face might have been funny had I not been so angry. "You think that you're the only one around here in pain?!" I was trying desperately not to scream at him. "You think you have a monopoly on suffering?!"

"Y/n... I...", Dean's voice finally broke and a tear rolled down his cheek.

"You can't leave me all alone to deal with this pain, Dean!" I burst into tears and turned away from him. I wrapped my arms around my chest as I finally allowed myself to feel everything that I had been keeping bottled up inside because I had to take care of Dean. My legs gave out and I crumpled to the floor on my face. I continued to cry as I buried my face in the carpeting. I heard a thud, like something heavy hitting the floor, and then loud footfalls running toward me. I was lifted up by the shoulders and turned over and placed gently down in Dean's lap. He looked down at me with sad, wet eyes and he kissed my forehead gently. "Please, Dean, I can't do this without you!", I sobbed into his chest, clutching onto his shirt for dear life. The door suddenly burst open and Sam stood there staring down at the scene with shocked eyes.

"What the hell?", Sam wheezed. He ran to kneel next to his brother while he cradled me in his arms. "What happened?" Dean looked up at Sam and sighed heavily, laying his cheek on the top of my head.

"I... I almost did something really stupid, Sammy", Dean whispered, looking over at the gun laying on the floor next to the bed. "She saved me." Sam looked up at his brother and the look of shock on his face only grew larger.

"Please! Don't go, Dean! Please!" I couldn't control the tears or the loud, raking sobs that poured out of me. I was desperate to hold onto him for as long as I could. His arms tightened around me and he lowered his head to touch his cheek to mine.

"Shhh... It's OK now", Dean whispered. "I'm not going anywhere." He pulled up slightly, planting a tender and chaste kiss on my trembling lips.

"Not ever again."

THE END

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