The Brightest Star @geradsredskittle666
Chapter 2

The Brightest Star

Disclaimer: I do not own MASH or any of its property. I make no profit off this work and do not intend to. I write to entertain.

Pairings: Hawkeye/BJ

Warnings: goodbyes, war, depression, anxiety, panick attacks, repression, ptsd, trauma, war related trauma, period typical homophobia.

Summary: The war is over and everyone has gone home. Our two local idiots in love are idiots (in love). Hawkeye finds it hard to adjust and BJ is busy pretending the war never happened. Can BJ make up for it by saving Hawkeye? Well, Peggy will surely give a go! ADHD!Hawkeye, Autistic!Hawkeye, Neurodivergent!Hawkeye, Autistic!BJ, Neurodivergent!BJ

Spoilers: none

AN: Set after the series finale. The war is over and everyone has gone home. ADHD!Hawkeye, Autistic!Hawkeye, Neurodivergent!Hawkeye, Autistic!BJ, Neurodivergent!BJ

Two travellers slept beside eachother

Two travellers slept under different stars

Two travellers sleep under the same stars

A lover bleeds black

As the stars keep watch

A lover bleeds red

He is drowning in a sea of blood

But no blow is as fatal as the one he strikes himself

If the soulmates could see how the other bleeds

Would it change thier course?

Hawkeye:

He almost did it a few times, tried to call BJ. Then he set down to pen a letter, informing his best friend that he was going to be in town for a while. Then burned the letter.

He had written many letters to his friend, only to recieve no reply. Not even a returned letter unopened. He couldn't understand it, why was his best friend acting like this? What had he done to offend Beej?

Hadn't they been friends? Hadn't they had fun? Hadn't they truly felt a connection like no other?

He had a thought that made his stomach drop. Had Beej been acting the whole time? Was there friendship just an elaborate prank to preserve sanity?

Tears came to his eyes at the rejection. It couldn't be true! He refused to believe it!

Still the wave of rejection threatened to crush him, he sobbed and sobbed, finally falling asleep.

When he woke, he glared at the notepad, if that was what BJ thought of him: then so be it! He wouldn't write anymore. He wouldn't even think about BJ. He wouldn't even say hello if thier pathes crossed! He wouldn't beg for the scraps of whatever thier friendship had been.

BJ:

He was living the life had always wanted, a wife and child. A home that was his. So why did it feel wrong? Incomplete? What was missing? Another child?

Maybe another baby would be a good idea. Now that he was around to help, he could ease the pressure of child rearing on Peg. He could see all the things he had missed out on with his daughter. Plus, wouldn't Erin just love a playmate? Someone to be a good big sister to?

He suggested this to his wife, but she had smiled mysteriously and suggested they take the time to think it over. It was a big decision. Something they all needed to properly think about. Of course that was a smart ruling. Peg was so wise.

He still felt empty, like had hadn't come home whole. Half of him was missing.

Peg had noticed all this. She knew her husband was struggling, even if he never said anything. He was great with Erin, he was great with the house maintenance and there marriage was great. Still, it wasn't enough for him. If it wasn't enough for her husband, it wasn't enough for her. She was glad to have the things she did: a kind husband, a beautiful daughter and a home. She was lucky.

Still, there was no harm in having more. Her husband was hurting, mourning something. He had come home, but half of his soul was back in Korea. It didn't take a psychiatrist to see it was someone he had been close to in Korea, BJ's stack of unopened letters from his friends told her that. But he never mentioned the war, he didn't like to talk about any of it. Not even his friends. He was desperately clinging to his family life here.

She hated to see him upset, so she had began to read the letters. Maybe they would reveal more. She recognised the names. She felt like she already knew everything about these strangers without ever meeting them.

She read them all, one by one. She liked the way they sounded. Then she had an idea. Maybe all BJ needed was a push. If he could see that he could have both his MASH family and his family here, maybe that could convince him. He didn't need to choose one. He didn't need to be unhappy.

She wrote to everyone, suggesting a meetup in California.

Within days letters started arriving. Everyone seemed thrilled. There was only one confirmation missing. "Hawkeye" Pierce. His father had wrote the he was in California working things out, that he had told him that he would meet up BJ. Well she hadn't heard anything but perhaps Hawkeye had not reached out yet.

But no one had his new address.

She would need to find out where he was.

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