Hi all! Once again, I own none of the things that are associated with Supernatural, just Kate. oh boy, where to start with this one? I have really struggled with this one chapter for a little while now. This particular one was frustrating for me, trying to capture the depth of emotions for both Sam and Dean after their dad had passed was tremendously difficult. Again, I am open to critiques as I always look for ways to better my writing and the story, but please do so in a polite manner. Thank you all for taking the time to read, especially those who review. Enjoy!
Side note: I did post an updated version of the previous chapter, as of 7/12.
Chapter 11: Everybody Loves a Clown
Kate heard the ever-familiar sound of the heart monitor beeping away by her head, and she knew she was back in the hospital. She groaned aloud as her head throbbed with a dull ache. Her eyes slowly opened to the dimmed light of a hospital room; she tried to sit up though her head felt too heavy to lift at the moment.
"Kate?" She heard a gruff voice say her name and her eyes shifted to the nearby chair at her bedside. She was surprised to see Dean sitting there.
"Dean? What're you-? How're you doing?"
"Well, I've had better days, but I'm alive. You've been out for a while though. I should get your doctor, now that you're up." As he spoke he leaned over Kate to push the call nurse button and returned to his seat. Kate wasn't sure how long she'd been out.
"Are- are you okay?" She asked him softly, her memories of binding the reaper were returning, that and John.
"Am I okay?" He scoffed with a quick shake of his head.
"How long have I been here?" She asked him softly.
"Almost a week now." He told her, his voice serious.
"What-?" She asked flabbergasted at his answer. "Wait, where's-?" Kate didn't want to ask, she felt terrible, especially because she felt responsible for what she knew had happened. Dean paused not answering her, his face was deadpanned. Whatever emotions he was feeling, he was keeping expertly reigned in. Kate knew before even asking that John succeeded in trading his life for his son's, but she had hoped like hell for a different outcome. She knew Dean would be upset, she had already expected some sort of emotion from him, anger, sadness, anything other than this... nothingness he was putting off.
A nurse came in interrupting the tension. "Mrs. Mcgillicuddy, we're happy to see you awake. How's the pain, dear?"
Kate opened her mouth, but words were escaping her at the moment.
"It's alright, sometimes after a blow like that, mental functions are slow to return. There's no pressure to get going though. The doctor wants you to take things at your own pace. Why don't I go get him, alright?" The nurse was quick to walk out. Kate was wondering if she felt the mood of the room as well.
"Dean, what happened?" Kate asked him suddenly, her voice was a bit hoarse from lack of use, but she knew he'd heard her.
Her blue eyes were locked on his green ones, and while his face concealed a lot of emotion from her, she could see the pain in his gaze. She could see the anger and sadness raging within him.
"I'm sorry," She said quietly at his continued silence. She was beginning to ramble, she wasn't sure if it was nerves or guilt, but she felt a sudden need to fill the silence. "I was trying to change things. I- I wanted to save you. I really hadn't thought beyond binding the reaper. I didn't know. Things night changed up on me so fast that I-."
"I don't want to talk about it. Not now. Besides, you need to focus on gettin' better. God knows how many demons are out for you now that the psychic cat's outta the bag," He said as he stood from his chair and poured some water into a plastic cup from the pitcher of ice water the hospital staff had set out by the sink within the hospital room. He brought it over and placed it on the rolling table nearby Kate. "Drink some water, I'm sure you're thirsty."
Admittedly, she was. However, her anxiety was in overdrive. She knew now that if things were dangerous for her before, they were even more so now. Her eyes moved over Dean's face slowly, taking in his tired eyes, and tightened jawline. She knew his character from the show didn't address things, particularly stressful things, especially when these things concerned his family. Dean had a way of forcing his feelings aside and focusing on those around him. Kate sighed softly as she grabbed up the remote for the hospital bed and began to slowly sit herself up more.
Before she could grab the cup the same doctor from the other day came through the door. "Good morning, Kate. How're you feeling?" She blinked up at him not answering as she brought the cup slowly to her lips and took a small sip.
"She's talking," Dean said suddenly. "Maybe not to you, but she is talking." As he spoke he returned to the seat at the other side of her bed, across from where the doctor stood.
"Well, that's good, really good. Those that suffer from a subdural hematoma usually have a long road to recovery. Luckily though, the one you had was small. You were brought in pretty fast too, so we must've caught it in time before it did any significant damage. We had to put you in an induced coma until we were sure the brain bleeding wasn't significant. Once we determined the damage was minimal we were able to take you off the meds, and give you the chance to wake up on your own. Man, you both must have some kind of angel on your shoulders. Your recoveries are very impressive."
"Mmmm," Dean began humourlessly, "You could say that again, Doc." As he pointedly stared at Kate.
"Hmm." The doctor scoffed, "Well Mrs. Mcgillicuddy, we'd like to keep you here overnight. Just to monitor your brain, and how it's healing. If all continues to look okay tonight and into tomorrow morning you can expect to be released then." Kate just nodded, feeling numb on the inside.
"Now, how's the pain levels?" As he asked, he did the whole penlight thing checking for dilation, and whatnot.
"It's just a dull ache, right now," Kate told him. He moved to the foot of the bed and checked the reflexes of her feet, she could feel her feet twitching in response to his pokes and prods.
"Okay, well be sure to call the nurse if you need any more medication for the pain. Other than that, you look like you're doing well. So I'll be back to check on you later, we are going to order a CT scan to check how your head is in a few hours. For now, I just want you to rest, alright?" He asked. He nodded quickly at Kate and Dean respectively before walking out.
An air of awkwardness filled the hospital room.
"Dean, I-." Kate tried again.
"Damnit, Kate. Not now. You're off the job, and anything to do with it until your head is right again." Dean told her, his voice was firm. She watched him pull out his flip phone; he was texting someone. She assumed it was either Sam or Bobby.
"Am I allowed to ask about Sam or Bobby?" She asked sarcastically, her eyebrows raised, but the movement hurt her brain so she rested her head back against the pillows.
"Bobby's good. Sam and I are staying there for now." Dean told her, "Sam is doing as best as he can, he's like you. Keeps tryin' to talk out everything." Kate was half tempted to tell him that letting it out was much easier than trying to contain it all of the time, but she wasn't up to snuff to have a real-talk moment, especially not with Dean Winchester. "I'm okay right now." He said as Kate gave him a quick look, "Really. I've been focusing on rebuilding baby, and it's taken up a lot of my time so..." He muttered, clearly upset. Kate didn't say anything, she didn't really know what to say. She knew that John truly was in a better place in comparison to the torture in hell he'd received, but how would that be comforting to Sam or Dean right now?
"Listen, all you need to focus on right now is getting better," Was all he'd told her.
"Dean,-" She began her voice filled with unease. "I know you've got to be angry with everything that happened-." She just wanted to get it over with.
"I'm not talking about it right now, Kate." Dean cut her off. His tone made it clear to her that it was final. "You just suffered a brain bleed. Can you give yourself a minute to recover? What's done is done, right?" Kate was slightly taken aback by his cold tone, but she didn't press it. She figured there were a lot of emotions going on for him, and pushing him to discuss it, here of all places, probably wasn't going to help anything.
"We're working a case." He said changing the subject quickly. "Although from what I heard from Sam, I can imagine you might already know what it's about."
Kate didn't say anything she just glanced out the window. Oh, we can talk about the case, but not this? She thought quickly, her frustration was growing. "It's the blind guy." She told him simply, not even bothering to explain it to him. He clearly wanted answers.
"Blind guy?" Dean asked, looking thoroughly bewildered.
"Have you gone to the carnival yet?" She asked idly.
"Wha-? Carnival? No? Not- not yet?" He told her slowly, it was obvious he was still processing the fact that she knew things that hadn't happened yet. He looked like he didn't understand a word she was talking about.
"I'll save you some time, Dean. It's the blind guy. Brass blades. Through the heart." She told him, her tone annoyed. She was irritated at the sudden change of subject, she had wanted to talk about what happened with his dad, she wanted him to be mad, to feel something, anything, even if it was directed at her.
"Oh-kay," He said slowly as he sat back and ran a hand over his face, "So, it's true then, what ol' yellow eyes was sayin' that night. You- you really know everything-,"
"How do you know all this if you're from some alternate reality?" Dean asked her after a beat of silence.
Kate sighed her head lolling in his direction from staring at the television. "You wanna talk about that right now? But not what happened yesterday?"
Dean paused, she could see the annoyed expression flash over his features, "Honestly? No, I don't want to talk about anything. I'd rather be back at Bobby's working on the Impala, but I figured the least we could do is check on your head. Hey, though if you don't want my concern or help, then just tell me, and I'll split." Kate knew she needed the boys, especially if she ever wanted to figure out a way back home if that was even still possible. She sighed out a breath releasing some of the growing tension in her body.
"Look, Sam and I have no good leads or anything to go on right now, but you. So… We still need you," He told her, his gaze pinning her to the bed. Kate had gathered enough to understand it's not that Dean was purposely avoiding the confrontation she knew was coming. It was the way he compartmentalized his life. He couldn't deal with his father's death and her role in it right now, not when he knew they'd still needed her.
"Dean listen, you're not going to like my answer," She said quickly changing the subject back to his initial question. "About my alternate reality," She clarified. At his nod, she continued, "In the reality that I'm from, there are no monsters; no ghosts, or witches, there's no magic anywhere. It's all made up and written into books, and tv shows."
She paused letting her words sink in, she didn't want to overwhelm him, "Wait. Are you saying that we're a book or-or a tv show where you come from?" He asked slowly, his voice lowering.
She hesitated but, nodded. "This. All of this is just a tv show where I'm from."
"Why? Why would anyone want to watch that?" He asked, his expression was genuinely confused.
"You'd be surprised how much the show helps people through some shit." She said, knowing firsthand.
Dean just stared at her, dumbfounded. "Seriously?" He asked. "I'm glad our crap lives are on display for your entertainment." He finished, clearly feeling disgruntled about it.
Kate shrugged sheepishly, "I can only speak for myself, of course, but it's not like I watched it for the enjoyment of your pain..." She trailed off, thinking hard to clearly explain what made her watch it like she did back home, "I mean initially what sucked me in was... well, you." She chuckled out the last part.
Dean didn't say anything he just leaned forwards, waiting for Kate to continue explaining. She huffed with an eye roll, "You're not bad looking, you know." She admitted.
Dean smirked at her slightly, "I knew you called me attractive back in Colorado-."
"It wasn't just that though." She cut him off. "Yes, clearly there's entertainment dispersed throughout, but... I don't know, I think it's the relating to the characters- well, sorry, people." She cut herself off, not wanting to offend Dean further, by referring to him and Sam as just characters in the show. "It's watching you protect, and be there for Sam. It's watching Sam see the importance of family and the sacrifice that comes with it. It's seeing you and Sam save people..." She trailed off
A beat passed where she could see Dean's features softening as she had spoken she wasn't sure if what she said made any sense to him at all, but she could see something she had said struck a chord with him. A moment passed in silence, Kate was waiting for Dean to say something. Anything.
"Do I uh, look like me... in the show?" Kate scoffed rolling her eyes at his superficial question.
"Well, yeah." She answered. She'd expected Dean to be more aggressive, with his questions, but he seemed to let things lie where they were right now. Kate assumed it was probably because they were still in the hospital. "I told you, I wasn't working with the demons, you know?" She asked referring to weeks back from when they were working that case in New York.
Dean paused, before quickly saying, "I knew you weren't working for the demons, but even you have to admit, the lies were piling up, and it was getting suspicious. Why didn't you just tell us all this from the beginning?"
She chuckled lightly shaking her head at herself and the current situation she was in; but stopped due to the dizziness it caused, "Well, I thought I was dreaming or something when you guys first found me back in Richardson, I had expected to wake up back in my bed. I mean, you- this-." She paused feeling overwhelmed, "None of this stuff is real." She finished feeling lame.
"You thought you dreamed me up, huh?" Dean was getting cocky. Clearly, her crush was going right to his head.
"Alright, alright, can we just move on from that please?" She protested, her hands raised as though trying to physically fend off his last question. Dean just laughed, a figure suddenly filled the doorway pulling Kate's attention away.
Sam stood there with coffee, he had two cardboard Starbucks cups, and he handed one off to Dean as he came closer. A brief moment of awkwardness clung in the air at his presence, Kate knew there was growing tension between Sam and Dean, however, she'd let that lie where it may be. "You're conscious; good. The doctors were really worried about your head." Sam said in greeting.
"I'm not a hundred percent yet, but I'm alive." She answered.
"How soon d'you think you can get outta here?" Sam asked, a little too quickly. Kate paused looking between the brothers.
"Are- are you guys planning on taking off?" She asked slowly. Her gaze jumped from one brother to the other.
Sam, glanced down at Dean who scrubbed a hand over his face tiredly as he heaved a sigh. "We found a voicemail, on our dad's cell phone. Some lady offering help with the demon. We just want to check it out." Dean explained.
"Oh," She began dejectedly, "So you have no clue what the hell I was saying about the Carnival earlier, do you?" She asked him feeling kinda embarrassed about telling him off about a case he wasn't even aware of yet.
"Not a clue." He replied with a smirk. "Did you trace the call?" Dean asked as he looked up at Sam.
"Yeah, it came from a landline phone. I got an address off A bar called-."
"Roadhouse," Kate said in unison with Sam. She debated on telling them more but decided against it if they were going all the way there anyway.
Dean looked between the two with a bigger grin on his face, "We may end up getting rusty with you around if we're not careful." He said more than likely referring to how little work they'd need to put into the cases that she knew about.
Kate began to try and sit up from the bed. "Whoa, hey, what're you doing?" Dean asked as he moved to grab her shoulders and guide her back into bed.
"You guys can't go on this insane mission without me. You don't know what's coming-."
"You need to stay here. At least for the night. The doctor already said he's scheduling you for another CT scan today."
"No, I need-." She began.
"You're staying put, Kate," Dean told her firmly. "If you try to leave before you're cleared by the docs, I will strap you down myself, understand?" Kate just nodded in response, she could tell he meant what he said by his tone. She really didn't put it past him to make good on his threat, so she lowered herself back against the pillows.
"Dean," Sam began his tone was hard for Kate to read. "We can't just leave her in the hospital; alone."
"Voicemail, or no voicemail. We aren't goin' anywhere until she's discharged, Sammy." She heard him say in a lowered tone.
"But, Dean-. Dad would-."
"Dad would what?" Dean said, Kate's head turned a little too quickly to stare in the boy's direction as he stood from his chair. A pause passed between the pair where they both backed further away from her towards the open doorway of Kate's hospital room. "The case and the bar with the random chick on dad's voicemail will still be there tomorrow, no?" Kate could see Sam's face fall just slightly. He was clearly itching to get going. "Listen, man. You wanna get going without me. That's fine, but Kate is a living, breathing road map to like the next... forever of our lives, you really want her in the hands of the demons?"
Sam knew Dean made a major and fair point. Whether they liked it or not. Kate needed a protection detail, the demons would be out for her blood now that her insight of the future was public knowledge. He sighed stressfully. "I'm not leaving her here to fend for herself. We can't Sam." Dean told him in that same final tone that he'd used on Kate moments before. Kate could vaguely hear the Winchesters muttering to themselves as her eyelids became heavier by the second, before she realized it she had zonked out completely.
Kate had been cleared from the hospital three days ago, and she had spent her last few days since then at Bobby's, specifically in his study overlooking most, if not all of his lore books on demons, meanwhile, she'd also begun building another pile of expertly placed books on the cot in his study, those weren't for her training- so to speak. They were about psychics, and anything and everything on how to clear chakra blocks. Once returning to Bobby's; she found that the boys had filled Bobby in on what was really happening. Kate felt slightly surprised by how determined Bobby was to give her a hand with research and, offer to train Kate up a bit. He'd admitted that so far she wasn't so bad- to which she'd told him that the show in her reality had come in handy in that way, but none of the men found her remark all that entertaining. That had been the day Sam, and Dean had packed up the van Bobby was letting them use and struck out for Nebraska. As much as Kate had wanted to join them, she knew that hunting for some killer clown after her own potential death wasn't the brightest of ideas. Unlike Dean, she still needed to heal her head.
She heard the kitchen door from the garage open, and she knew that Bobby had come in from being out on a tow job. "So, how's it goin', Kid?" He asked as she saw his head pop over the side of the wide doorway. She was fairly certain, that the nickname he'd settled on calling her for the last couple of days was meant as a friendly gesture, but she wasn't sold on the nickname itself.
"Well," Kate sighed as she closed the book, "I'm up to my ears in Demon lore. Bet you that I can draw out a devil's trap without looking at the photo of one now."
Bobby chuckled softly, "We all gotta get through the boring stuff, before graduating to the tougher classes, 'sides you sure you're up for any of the physical stuff? The docs back at Sioux Falls general were pretty clear that you needed to rest for at least two weeks before any-,"
"C'mon, Bobby." Kate groaned.
He knew she was chomping at the bit for new stuff to learn. Before Kate could do or say anything she found a blank paper slid across the desk before her, "Welp, draw me a devil's trap then," Was all he told her. He'd taken up residence behind the desk, across from where Kate was sitting, Kate smirked a little as she picked up her pen and made quick work with the outline, and then finished it off with the giant star taking up the middle, adding the different sigils in-between the points. She smugly flashed the paper over in Bobby's direction with a big grin.
"Alright, smart ass." He quipped with the smallest of smirks. "Next thing to do is have you learn your weapons." He told her as he stood.
"Oh, that's easy. You point, aim, and shoot," Kate stated simply.
Bobby chuckled with a shake of his head as he put her pistol down in front of her. "No, no, no. I want you to take it apart and put it back together."
Kate blinked up at him as she was unsure of this part. She hadn't ever really taken apart her guns, but her hands seemed to move as though she'd done it before, she picked up the firearm, and pressed down the release, she slid the magazine out emptying its bullets. She was sure to double-check the barrel of the gun to make sure none remained in the chamber, ready to fire. She made quick work of sliding the slide off and set it down in three pieces on the desk before her. With that, she stared in Bobby's direction.
A beat of silence passed before Bobby chuckled, "Keep goin',"
"Wait, what?" Kate asked her stare becoming incredulous.
"Yeah, I wanna see it all, down to the recoil spring, ya got me?" He asked as he took another swig from the bottle in his hand.
"Ugh," She groaned her head lowering. She could shoot, and reload the bullets easy enough by now, but she knew taking her guns apart and putting them back together piece, by little piece would take some time to learn. She leaned her head down on her arms that she'd crossed over the top of the desk, "Chop, chop, times a-wastin'." He said as he pulled away from the desk.
"Wait," She cried out indignantly, "You're not even gonna show me first?"
Bobby paused turning around to look at her, "Excuse me, Princess. But you seemed pretty confident in your abilities not too long ago. I think you'll be fine on your own." Kate noted that he still had his beer in his hand. "Sides, I got a car to get off my tow rig, I'll check on you when I get done with the job." Kate groaned as the kitchen door opened and shut behind her.
She'd been at the gun for over an hour now, and she was pretty well frustrated with learning the different gun parts. She'd taken to moving to the other side of the desk, pulling her laptop out from her bag to search up a diagram of all the gun parts. She quite frankly was getting tired of looking over this diagram, over, and over again. She had a feeling Bobby wouldn't budge on training her to fight until her full two weeks were up, but she knew to get to that point she'd have to learn the weapons first anyways. She sighed taking another long look at her laptop screen. Before she knew it, she could hear the front door to the house opening. Her head snapped up, realistically she knew the boys were probably back from their hunt, but she couldn't be too careful at this point. She knew she was probably wanted woman number one in hell- more specifically with the yellow-eyed demon. She quickly stood from her chair and grabbed the throwing knife that Pastor Jim had insisted she take when she intervened to save him.
She readied herself into a defensive stance along the side of the open doorway, waiting to see who would round the corner.
A figure took a step into the study, and Kate relaxed immediately. She watched Sam look around the room only to jump when she spoke from behind him. "Glad to see it's just you."
"Jesus," Sam sighed as he spun around. Kate walked out from her hidden position and moved back towards the desk, "How was the case?" She asked changing the subject.
"Fine, I guess, thanks for the brass knife tip." He told her, "As well as telling us who the killer clown turned out to be. You practically handed it to us." He said as he sat across the desk from her. She nodded, not really looking up at him. Kate was determined to figure out the gun task that Bobby had given her.
"Uh. What're you doing?" Sam asked interrupting the rather comfortable silence.
"Bobby has me in training, so to speak." She answered shrugging at the last bit of her sentence. "I'm currently enrolled in Bobby boot camp, I guess?" She asked with a glance up in his direction.
"What're you supposed to be doing?" Sam was leaning forwards, interested in the task.
"I'm supposed to be learning my weapons, like how to take them completely apart, and put them back together," Kate muttered as she managed to pull the whole trigger housing kit out of the frame. She made quick work with the barrel and the other smaller pieces of the inner components. She laid everything out and triple-checked the diagram she'd googled and matched them up piece by piece.
Looking across at Sam she asked, "Well?"
"Well?" He stated flatly.
"I might be missing a bit of the smaller bits from the trigger, but I got to the recoil spring and technically, that's all Bobby had asked for." She stated. She knew the boys were still put off by Kate. She couldn't really blame them, if someone was walking around with the knowledge of the next ten years of her life, she probably wouldn't know how to react towards them either. She also knew that her having a hand in what happened to their dad still upset them. No matter how she had wanted the plan to go down, it still ended John's life.
He looked over the desk still not saying anything. Kate couldn't help but try to fill in the awkward silences. "Sam," She began, "I just-. I know that I've said it before, but I'm so sorry-."
"I know, Kate." He said sufficiently cutting her off, "Dean and I. We both know. You don't have to keep apologizing."
"Do you- Do you guys know what happened that night?" Her voice was soft. She hadn't really asked about their dad. She didn't really get a chance to, as the boys refused to talk to her about it in the hospital, and the day she got released to Bobby's; they had set off.
"Do you?" Sam asked her in response.
Kate shrugged slightly at the question. She only knew what Bobby had told her. She remembered a little, but it was just bits and pieces. Her brain injury made her block out a chunk of time from that night. Bobby had told her that things were on track for Dean to be healed, up until the realization dawned on them that Tessa the reaper simply was not going to deal. 'Reapers are sticklers for the natural order,' is what he'd said. Once that happened things changed, and fast. John had revealed to Kate that he had put his blood in the bones he'd supplied for the ritual, and when she was knocked unconscious by the head blow, it left the reaper under John's full control. He had explained that by that point, there wasn't anything anyone could do. Kate wasn't able to exert her control over the reaper while unconscious so John made the decision to sacrifice himself for his son. A soul, for a soul.
"I only know what Bobby told me," She answered her fingers absently fiddling with one of the gun parts on the desk. She took in a steadying breath, "Either way. I am sorry." She stated. Silence enveloped the room around her and Sam, it wasn't as comfortable as it had been earlier though
"Was dad really going to make a demon deal?" Sam asked all of a sudden.
Kate's head snapped up in his direction. She hadn't told them that, she hadn't had a chance to bring it up to them yet. Her gaze lowered from Sam's honey-hued hazel eyes as she nodded slightly. "I can only speak of what I know from the show in my world, but yes. John initially made a deal to save Dean, from what I know he originally promised Yellow-eyes the Colt. Azazel had pushed it to get his hands on your dad's soul too."
"Azazel?" Sam questioned quickly. Kate could feel his hard stare at the top of her head, she hadn't looked up at him, she couldn't bring herself to meet his gaze as they spoke about his dad. She knew that Sam and Dean weren't ignorant about their dad not being perfect, Kate knew they had first-hand experience of being- or rather, not being- raised by the man. She was surprised by their surprise, it didn't seem real to them that their father would sacrifice his own life for his kids.
"Yellow eyes has a name?" Sam asked, she could hear the change in his tone immediately. The darkness in it rose up from nowhere. Kate finally looked up at him with surprise.
"Yeah," She began, "He isn't just a demon, you know; He's a prince of hell." She stated flatly.
She watched Sams's eyes widen slightly, but he didn't say anything. "A prince? Of hell?" Kate nodded. She idly wondered where Dean was, but she underlyingly knew that he'd been avoiding her. On the trip back from the hospital, the three of them mostly let the music play in silence. He hadn't even said goodbye the day they left, she just saw him leave the house with his duffle bag in tow. She wanted to reach out to him, at least let him know she was willing to listen, even if he didn't want to talk.
"Is Dean working on the car?" She asked replacing the gun part she was fiddling with.
"Probably," Sam began, not really paying her any attention. She'd really caught his attention with her last bit of information. "Hey, where's Bobby?" He asked suddenly looking up at her.
Kate shrugged pulling her hair back into a high ponytail, "Last I heard from him he was trying to get a car off his tow truck, although seeing as that was about an hour ago, I'd bet he moved on from that to something else." Kate answered as she stood up and stretched her arms over her head. She'd taken to wearing jeans and a forest green tank top in this August heat. She wasn't prepared for this dry and hot South Dakota summer. "Ya know, he was supposed to come back and check my progress." Kate pointed out as her hands slid to her hips and her weight shifted to one side.
Sam chuckled, "I'm gonna go find him. I'll send him in for you." She had a feeling Sam was itching to ask Bobby about Princes of hell, among other demon lore.
"Nah," Kate replied, "I'm gonna go for a quick walk around the yard, I need to get some sort of movement in otherwise I'm gonna start climbing the walls to get out of here." The boys had driven her car here from Salvation when she'd left with John to meet with the demon in Lincoln, but she hadn't touched it since even before then. Not that she could even if she wanted to, but she had nowhere to go anyway. She'd made her way outside and zig-zagging through junked or broken cars. She paused when she heard the sounds of tools clinking, and clanging. She knew she'd stumbled on Dean and the Impala.
"Hey," She greeted from a distance, not wanting to spook him. He looked over his shoulder from under the hood, his t-shirt had grease and oil stains up and down the front and sides. Kate could see his blackened hands as she slowly moved in closer. She was unsurprised at his lack of greeting. He pushed away from the hood, moving away from her towards one of the other nearby cars.
"I suppose I don't need to ask why you're avoiding me." She stated bluntly. She didn't see the sense in tip-toeing around the subject now that she was standing before him. She could physically see the tension in Dean's shoulders. She watched his green eyes glance up in her direction as he dropped a ratchet into the open toolbox on the ground. It slammed harshly causing Kate to jump.
"What makes you think I'm avoiding you?" He asked not looking at her as he wiped the black stains off his fingers with the nearby rag.
"Well," She began leaning slightly back against the front end of the Impala. "For starters, you haven't said a word to me since getting back from the hospital." Kate made a conscious effort in controlling her tone. She remembered from the show how Sam confronted Dean at the end of this particular episode, and Dean went off from the weight of not just the guilt he carried, but the weight of the last thing John had shared with Dean knowing full well that it was going to be his last conversation with his son. "Secondly, you left without saying so much as a goodbye." Kate finished, her eyes scanning Dean up and down for any sort of reaction to her words.
"Didn't think I had to," He began as he turned his back to her to grab his beer off the hood of the car, "Figured with you being all-knowing about our lives, you'd know I was leaving." As he finished speaking he took a swig of his beer.
Kate scoffed shaking her head, she knew that Dean had been pushing people away as much as he could during this time, Pushing everything away, really. He didn't want to deal with people, his emotions, or anything of the sort. He was downright cruel to Sam all throughout the hunt in this episode. "I understand that you're mad, but believe it or not I did change things. You're dad-,"
"Wasn't supposed to die." Dean cut her off, his expression was dark. "Period." He finished as he slammed the beer bottle down.
She didn't come out here to argue with him over the death of his dad. It happened, and as much as she wanted to, she couldn't change it. She opened her mouth to shoot back an insult but bit her tongue. She didn't want to engage in whatever this was. She knew he was unsympathetic to Sam all throughout this particular hunt. His humor had taken on a dark edge to it, and if he was snapping on Sam... Kate knew that he'd have no issues with taking it out on her.
"I didn't make that decision, Dean." She said her tone firm in that statement.
Dean scoffed as his eyes bore into hers, "No, but you helped him right along, didn't you?" Kate felt her chest tighten at that, she had been surrounded by Dean and his family for the last three, going on four months now. She had grown attached to them, and she felt the sting of the same loss they did, not as potent for her, but she took comfort in the knowledge that he wasn't being endlessly tortured in hell. She knew he was pushing buttons to get a reaction. He was trying to make her walk away.
"That's not fair," The words flew from her mouth before she could stop herself, "You don't even know what was supposed to happen." She pointed out. She understood Dean's anger, but the way he was lashing out at her was shocking given how his completely different demeanor towards her back at the hospital days ago.
"No, you're right. I don't-." Dean began, his anger revealing itself, finally.
"Then, how can you put this on me!?" Kate shouted, she was sick of defending her choices, admittedly, this one made sense, but every decision she made up to this point was at odds with how the show progressed, she'd only saved one person thus far, but John had been bound and determined to get Dean back to breathing; no matter what it cost him. In the long run, it hadn't mattered in saving his life because Kate knew that simply changing his death shifted things to her side.
"You knew what was comin' Kate. So why didn't you stop it? Instead, you just handed him a different road map to die by, and worst of all you act as if I'm supposed to be grateful about it." Dean spat, taking a couple of steps toward Kate.
Kate felt as though the air had been sucked out of her lungs. He wasn't just mad about his dad's passing, he held her responsible. She kind of thought this was going to happen, but to hear him say it so bluntly was like a punch to the gut.
A silence passed between the pair, all they did was stare. Kate could feel a lump forming in her throat, and her eyes begin to sting from tears building up. She undoubtedly wore her hurt all over her face. Even in the show, Dean knew how to leave someone feeling torn open and gutted with just his words. "Your dad knew exactly what he was doing the whole time, Dean. I laid out a plan. A plan that would have worked, but he didn't stick to it. John went his own way and took his own actions. It was his dying wish that you were brought back, don't you get that?" Her voice was more level than she thought it would be with how she felt.
Dean paused at that, he blinked at her, mutely.
"He was trying to save you. The whole time. He was originally going to make a deal with Yellow eyes to get you back. He wanted to trade the Colt away. All I did was give him a different way to do just that. One that didn't end with him stuck in hell and being tortured for a century. I'm sorry if that's not enough for you." She told him, her voice did little to hide her frustration and hurt.
Kate stalked away from him before Dean had the chance to respond, her arms were crossed tightly over her chest as she made her way toward Bobby's house. It was her turn to avoid Dean now, she really did feel for him, but it wasn't right for him to take his anger out on everyone as a way to avoid acknowledging the pain and guilt of losing John. If she didn't stand up for herself now she had a feeling it would become a habit for him to treat her this way. Kate had done nothing but try and help Sam, and Dean since she woke up in this weird universe. She took her time walking the scrapyard, trying to walk off her tense emotions, but soon enough she looked up to see the back door of Bobby's house coming into view before it all suddenly went dark.
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