Different Kinds of Torture @trekkiehood
26 - Okay

Guys it's been a ride. I had plans for this fic at some point but I have no clue what they were supposed to be.
I'm not even active in the Marvel fandom but I couldn't keep staring at this unfinished fic and find peace.

So here we are. Chapter 26. The grand finale.

It's not all that great. It's not all that interesting. But hopefully it will bring closure to a fic that really moved me into the fanfic world.

I'll let you read the ending and ramble more at the end.

Please enjoy *hugs*


Day 30


The room was quiet when he opened his eyes to his bedroom. He'd been back for a couple of weeks and he was starting to remember things. Slowly. He hadn't brought it up much, he thought it was better if everyone else thought he didn't remember the dark side of himself. He knew he did... bad things. He knew it. But deep within himself he also knew it wasn't him. It was like viewing someone else's memories. It helped. It helped it feel less real.

"Uh, heya Cap." Tony appeared unusually timid in the doorway.

Steve pushed himself up from where he was lying in bed, "Tony."

"I uh," he ran a hand through his hair. "Just wanted to check in to make sure you were doing okay. Bruce said you've been having migraines and I was just wondering if - uh - if anything was coming back."

He could place it now. Tony looked guilty. Tony was afraid that Steve would remember everything and hate him.

Steve didn't remember everything, but what he did he knew wasn't Tony's fault. And he certainly didn't hate him.

He felt a pang of guilt for keeping his returning memory a secret.

"None of it was your fault." The look of shock crossing the billionaire's face would be humorous in any other circumstances.

"You, uh" he cleared his throat, "You remember it all?"

Steve shrugged. "Not everything but enough to know it wasn't your fault. And that it wasn't really me."

"What's that supposed to mean."

"I don't hate you Tony. What- what happened..." He shook his head, trying to keep the memories from invading his thoughts, "What happened to me wasn't on you. None of it was on you. They wanted me and just used you as an excuse to try and turn me. They were going to 'kill' me and using you was just a way to put blame on you. Two birds with one stone and all."

"So you're... okay?"

"I'm getting there." He smiled.

Tony cleared his throat, putting on as much bravado as he could. "Well that's good. Glad we had this heart to heart now we can get back to barely speaking with one another."

"Stark." Steve called out.


"It happened to you too."

Tony froze. "Not exactly sure where you're coming from, Cap."

"It's okay if you're not okay. You were hurt too. I'm not the only one recovering."

"Pretty sure we were hurt in very different ways." He said trying and failing to put humour in his voice.

"But you were still hurt. Work through it, okay? Don't bottle it up."

"Yeah, uh yeah."

"You can go pretend to be okay now."

"I don't need your permission, but thanks." He said coolly as he walked out of the room.

Steve let him go. They'd been put through a lot but both had come out in more or less one piece. His head still hurt on occasion and he was constantly afraid he'd be punished for doing the wrong thing. Tony had one or two more drunken nights that showed he wasn't completely okay. But they were working on it.

They would be okay. Because Hydra was still out there and Steve was sure he saw Bucky. He wasn't sure how, it wasn't all there yet, but he knew. And because the world still needed saving and the Avengers still needed each other.

It wouldn't always be smooth sailing, but they needed each other. And in the end, they'd be okay.


Thank you so much to everyone who went on this journey with me. It was an absolute wild ride and things happened I didn't even expect!

I almost feel emotional as I'm posting this. Like I *know* it's not the way anyone really wanted it to end, but it still feels like the end of something really big in my life.

It's been sitting here for a year untouched and yet I feel hesitant to bring it to a close.

This fic will always hold a special place in my heart, even if the ending is a bit rocky.

Love you guys so so much!

I hope you tag along to some of my other fandoms!

Find me on Tumblr at/Trekkiehood!

Much love and God bless,

Jamie Dawn

Anonymous reviews have been disabled. Login to review. 1. Information 1 0 0 2. Prologue - Rubble 608 0 0 3. 1 - Watch Room 2453 0 0 4. 2 - Truth Room 1044 0 0 5. 3 - White Room 1528 0 0 6. 4 - The Game 1642 0 0 7. 5 - Twenty-Three 1483 0 0 8. 6 - Flashback 2173 0 0 9. 7 - Scientific Experimentation 1143 0 0 10. 8 - With A Pocketknife 1931 0 0 11. 9 - Pain Between Friends 1579 0 0 12. 10 - Natasha 664 0 0 13. 11 - Playing the Bluff 1478 0 0 14. 12 - Hail Hydra 1015 0 0 15. 13 - We'll Get Through This 875 0 0 16. 14 - Avenge Him 1335 0 0 17. 15 - месть 1205 0 0 18. 16 - Hate 928 0 0 19. 17 - Attack 1050 0 0 20. 18 - He's Alive 766 0 0 21. 19 - Losing Them Both 1196 0 0 22. 20 - The Mission 1441 0 0 23. 21 - No One 965 0 0 24. 22 - Not This Time 1314 0 0 25. 23 - Fail Safe 2401 0 0 26. 24 - One Bullet 3204 0 0 27. 25 - Waking Up 1156 0 0 28. 26 - Okay 584 0 0