What Hurts The Most @izzy_nava
Ch 8 Those Days, This Simple Days

Disclaimer: I don't own the song within this chapter.

Quick, explanation, before anyone asks: The girls learned to play each other's instruments just in case.

Bella is also the one who mainly sang in the group.

Also the bold/italic is the lyrics, what she is feeling is in normal font (lettering)

Enjoy :)


Even hours later, as I moved around the kitchen, cooking, and baking, I couldn't help the anxiety that began to creep in.

Maybe I should have waited? Maybe it was a mistake to come back to Texas? Maybe it was too soon?

Fuck! Why did I do this to myself?! Why did I come back?

My anxiety began to skyrocket, even though I knew that these were my childhood friends, once practically family, yet I left without looking back, thinking they didn't care about me.

I was so lost in my own pain that I never realized how much they truly cared for me, even when I tried to leave them behind.

I sighed, at my own juvenile stupidity, and the pain I caused, as I finished making some side salads, and taking all the food out of the oven, and placing it on the cooling rack, before turning to look at Mila, who was laid out on the floor, wagging her tail lazily.

"What's wrong, girl? Are you bored?" I asked, as I kneeled and offered her her chew toy.

She purred, before snatching it out of my hand and ran to the living room.

"Brat," I muttered, shaking my head amused at her.

It was just after I began setting the table that I heard the familiar sound of multiple cars and trucks pulling up in the driveway.

The familiar howl of laughter and the soft crunch of gravel as they walked on the dirt, around Jasper's house and made their way to mine.

"Belly Boo!" I heard as they all stepped on the small porch, causing Mila to begin barking.

I knew who it was by the boisterous laughter that followed along with a sharp smack and a loud shushing.

"Damn it, Rosey, what the hell was that for?" He asked.

I decided to quickly open the door before those two ended in an argument. I slipped off my apron and threw it on the couch, before roughly pulling the door open.

"Bella!" They all greeted, with surprising joy.

"Hey, y'all! Get your asses in here before those to kill each other." I said, smiling.

"Oh Bells, I knew I loved you for a reason!" Tanya said, with a big smile as she walked in, stopping to pull me into a tight hug before passing by.

"Don't pay any attention to that buffoon, Bells. God, I missed you!" Rose said as she hugged me too.

"I missed you two, too!" I replied as I lead them in.

"Oh, Bella, I would like you to meet my fiance, Drake Roberts," Tanya said, as a tall man, as large as Emmett entered the house with a small wooden crate.

"Nice to meet ya, Drake. I'm Bella Swan, at your service." I greeted, extending my hand to shake.

"I would shake ya hand but, I am holding all of this stuff." He said, smiling widely at me.

I heard a scoff before Emmett walked over and took the things from Drake's arms. "There now. Problem solved, bud." He muttered, walking towards the kitchen.

"Thanks, bud." Drake called before turning to me, with an extended hand, "Now, nice to meet ya, Bells. I'm Drake Roberts, at your service." Drake greeted, smiling widely at me.

"Likewise," I replied before we all made our way into the dining room.

As soon as everyone was seated, I served them, and myself before sitting down.

Dinner went smoothly. Smoother than I thought, even after Alice and Jasper arrived and joined us.

After dinner, I quickly picked up the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, before following everyone out.

Jasper, Drake, and Emmett were in a deep conversation about audio acoustics, and different instrumental compatibilities.

"Do you guys remember when we won that one talent show in Dallas?" Tanya asked, sighing in nostalgia.

Of course, I do, how could I not? It was one of the greatest nights of my life. One of the last too.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that, until I saw the trophy on the mantle in the living room," Rosalie said as a smile appeared on her lips.

I snorted, and nodded as I remembered catching sight of it after I got back from the grocery store earlier. It surprised the hell out of me too.

"Which songs did we sing?" Tanya asked, laughing.

"We sang Goodbye Earl, Traveling Soldier, Landslide. Then Edward and Bella sang Need You Now." Alice said, as her eyes began to shine.

I cleared my throat as I caught sight of her eyes, and the pained expression that suddenly appeared in all of their faces.

I gulped, as I tried to get rid of the knot that suddenly formed in my throat, as I remembered what happened the following day.

The day that changed my life forever, my father's death.

"How many bands performed again?" Tanya asked, as her brow wrinkled, as she tried to lighten the mood.

"Seven or eight. Each of them from a different county." Rosalie replied, clearing her throat as she blinked too.

It was the last time I ever performed.

"I miss those days. Everything was so much simpler." I sighed, turning away as I wiped a fallen tear from my face.

"We can have them back." Tanya said, standing up and walking over to me before she threw an arm over my shoulder. "What do you say to one last gig?" She asked, wiping away her own tears.

I gapped, swallowing thickly before I shook my head at them. "I — I can't." I stuttered, shaking my head at them as I turned to stare at the field.

"Come on, Bee! Please! please!" Tanya begged, clasping her hands in front of her chest before jumping up and down.

"I really can't. It's been too long. I probably won't sound good." I replied, biting my lip.

"Come on, Bee. This will be just us messing around. Here." Rosalie begged too.

"Why don't we go into the music room? I mean it can't hurt to mess around with the instruments too." Alice suggested.

"If I say yes, will you three promise not to push the subject anymore?" I asked, moving my hair away from my face.

"We promise." They said offering the pinkies to me.

I sighed, looking up at the sky for a moment before turning to them. "Do you still remember how to play your instruments?" I asked.

Tanya nodded, before looking at the other two. Only for Alice and Rose to nod as well.

"Wait, you still have your fiddle, Rose?" I asked, confused.

She smiled and nodded at me before we all made our way to the back where the music room was located.

As I walked in Rosalie quickly made her way towards one of the guitars before smiling at me. Tanya quickly walked over to the piao, slipping on the strap.

"What song?" Tanya asked, as she cracked her fingers.

"How about Not Ready To Make Nice by The Dixie Chicks?" I asked as I walked over to the microphone, after I adjusted the machines to the correct frequency.

Alice nodded, before walking over to the drums.

I watched as they all got ready, before Rosalie took a deep and began playing the first few notes.

I sighed, closing my eyes before I began to sing.

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

I closed my eyes, trying not to let my emotions lose as I sang the words.

A song I used to sing as a way to release the anger, and hurt I felt at everything that happened.

I'm through with doubt

There's nothing left for me to figure out

I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying

My emotions seemed to be stronger than I thought as I closed my eyes and willed the tears to go away.

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time

To go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is

You think I should

Jasper and the boys suddenly walked into the room, wide eyed. I tried to ignore them, as I continued to sing, evenly.

I know you said

Why can't you just get over it?

It turned my whole world around

And I kinda like it

The anger I had tried to stop suddenly exploded out as I reached the hardest part of the song, making my eyes water, as I continued to sing.

I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby

With no regrets, and I don't mind saying

It's a sad, sad story

When a mother will teach her daughter

That she ought to hate a perfect stranger

And how in the world

Can the words that I said

Send somebody so over the edge

That they'd write me a letter

Saying that I better

Shut up and sing

Or my life will be over

As the violin suddenly sounded throughout the room, causing me to close my eyes, and swallow thickly. Then Tanya and Alice joined me as back up vocals as I began to sing once more

I'm not ready to make nice

I'm not ready to back down

I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time

To go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is

You think I should

I'm not ready to make nice (Alice repeats)

I'm not ready to back down (Tanya repeats)

I'm still mad as hell, and I don't have time

To go 'round and 'round and 'round

It's too late to make it right

I probably wouldn't if I could

'Cause I'm mad as hell

Can't bring myself to do what it is

You think I should, what it is you think I should

I took a final breath as I listened to the guitar stream once more before I began to sing for the last time.

Forgive, sounds good

Forget, I'm not sure I could

They say time heals everything

But I'm still waiting

The sound of clapping suddenly caused me to jump as my eyes popped open.

"Wow!"

"That was absolutely amazing! Why haven't you girls performed at Ol' Sal's Place?" Drake asked, amazed.

"Because of me." I replied, quietly.

His brows furrowed in confusion. "Was it because you were gone? Why can't you perform? You have an amazing voice!" He said amazed.

"Drake, Bella hasn't performed since her dad passed away…" Emmett told him, causing me to wince.

"Can we not talk about my dad?" I asked uncomfortably, looking away.

"Ok, so what now? No more music?" Emmett asked.

"No, let's play something else… Any suggestions?" I asked, smiling at them.

"How about that one song by the Dixie Chicks?" Emmett asked.

I frowned, "Which one?" I asked, smirking at him.

He rolled his eyes at me before he replied, "The one about the soldier." as he sat back down.

I nodded before I looked at the girls, "Traveling Soldier." I sighed, as the girls nodded.

Rosalie nodded as she began to play the guitar again, as Tanya slowly began to play the banjo.

I closed my eyes as I began to sing, remembering how my dad used to love when we played this song. Saying it reminded him of when he was younger. Never really explained why but his smile always made me smile.

~oOo~

Two days past eighteen

He was waiting for the bus in his army green

Sat down in a booth in a cafe there

Gave his order to a girl with a bow in her hair

He's a little shy so she give him a smile

So he said would you mind sittin' down for a while

And talking to me, I'm feeling a little low

She said I'm off in an hour and I know where we can go

So they went down and they sat on the pier

He said I bet you got a boyfriend but I don't care

I got no one to send a letter to

Would you mind if I sent one back here to you

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end

Waitin' for the soldier to come back again

Never more to be alone when the letter says

A soldier's coming home

So the letters came from an army camp

In California then Vietnam

And he told her of his heart

It might be love and all of the things he was so scared of

He said when it's getting kinda rough over here

I think of that day sittin' down at the pier

And I close my eyes and see your pretty smile

Don't worry but I won't be able to write for a while

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end

Waitin' for the soldier to come back again

Never more to be alone when the letter says

A soldier's coming home

One Friday night at a football game

The Lord's Prayer said and the anthem sang

A man said folks would you bow your head

For the list of local Vietnam dead

Crying all alone under the stands

Was the piccolo player in the marching band

And one name read and nobody really cared

But a pretty little girl with a bow in her hair

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end

Waitin' for the soldier to come back again

Never more to be alone when the letter says

A soldier's coming home

I cried

Never gonna hold the hand of another guy

Too young for him they told her

Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier

Our love will never end

Waitin' for the soldier to come back again

Never more to be alone when the letter says

A soldier's coming home

~oOo~

I smiled as Alice slowly began to add the fiddle, closing her eyes to concentrate as she played.

Briefly reminding me of those days, the simple day.

As the final note played, the boys once again clapped in amazement.

"Is there any way I can convince you to sing at Ol' Sal's Place next week?" Drake asked, quietly.

"If I tell you I will think about it will all of you leave me alone until said night?" I asked, biting my lip again.

He nodded, with a smile along with everyone else.

I sighed, shaking my head at them before sighing again, "Fine. I'll think about it." I replied, looking at the microphone instead of them.

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