I don't own Hetalia okay? I had this idea after seeing some pictures online and wanted to make it Christmasy. So anyway, enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
It was about two weeks before Christmas and Alfred was looking at the ceiling of his and Ivan's apartment with a sigh. They hadn't had anything really planned as they had agreed to head to Russia for the new year so Ivan could celebrate the Russian holidays with his sisters he had not seen in a long time. For the past few years, he hadn't spent much time with the rest of his family as they were off doing other things. His brother didn't talk much about what he was doing or who he was with at the time, spent a lot of it as he said, "traveling" and his fathers had finally be able to retire and they had often spent the winters traveling this time of year often to the Caribbean. Thinking of just what the Russian winters would be like, bracing for the cold, despite Ivan having to keep telling him that it wasn't as cold as he thought. This often was met with a curt, "What you and I think of as 'cold' are two different things." There was a point to this, and the same was often said in reverse in the summer. What Ivan thought as excruciating was what Alfred thought was great.
He sighed, nervous about the upcoming plans having never met Ivan's sisters before and was told they were 'delightful people' and not much else. He had seen their pictures, his older sister Katyusha seemed cheery and amicable but it was his younger sister Natalya who, even in a dedicated family portrait, had the face of an angry sourpuss and Ivan had said that she was rather clingy. This did nothing to ease Alfred's concerns as he knew Ivan to downplay things about his sisters. From the phone call he had overheard with them when he planned the trip and told them he was going to introduce them to him, Ivan's descriptions were rather generous. At this his phone rang and he picked it up seeing it was his dad. "Oh hello Alfred, I wanted to ask you and yours to Christmas this year."
"Oh yeah?" Alfred said.
"Who is it my love?" Ivan said as he walked past Alfred on the phone. He whispered 'my dad' to him and turned back to the phone.
"Is that the Ivan you told me so much about? I should like to meet him someday."
"You will." Alfred said, wanting to put it off. He knew how his parents were and did not want to have them fighting over trivial things with Ivan around.
"Well your brother will finally be around and bringing the person he is with and I figured you could come as well. I know he has missed talking to you."
"Well I..." Alfred said "You see we..."
"Will be there." Ivan said as he took the phone and hung up for Alfred.
"Just why did you agree to that? Alfred said. "You know we're flying into Moscow just a few days after Christmas."
"Da." Ivan nodded. "And while you are meeting my sisters, I think it is far time I met your fathers, despite how many misgivings you have about it. Do you not think I had misgivings about you meeting my sisters?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." Alfred began, not certain how to answer that.
"Well I had them. Nothing on you Fredka, as I could never be ashamed of you, but because of how they are. In case you could not tell, I was being rather generous with how I described them." Alfred sniggered as he had figured that out from the start, "Laugh all you like but you do the same with your fathers. If we want to be serious, I think it is time we made our families aware of the fact the other exists."
"Yeah, you may be right..." Alfred said.
And that was how he and Ivan ended up at his parents' house for Christmas. And this Christmas had been one of a lot of stress. Having not really talked to his brother much in a few years, this was the year that Matthew did show up. With his husband. An albino German a few years older than him who while working as engineering professor for an online university, was guitarist for a German death metal band. And Matthew was their agent/roadie. The first shock was not that Matthew had a boyfriend, it was that he had dyed his hair black to match the band's motif, as he claimed. All Alfred could say was "Well they can tell us apart now..."
"Ah, this must be the Ivan I have heard so much about!" Matthew said as Ivan walked in the door behind Alfred.
"Fredka told me his brother looked almost exactly like him, I have seen a few pictures he has shown me of you." Ivan said staring at the hair. "I do not mean to seem rude, but I do not think black is your color."
"Nein mein Ahornliebhaber" A tall albino man came behind him. " I think black suits you much better than you think." Gilbert turned to face Alfred and Ivan. He knew that Matthew was seeing an interesting combination of engineering professor/ death metal guitarist but it wouldn't seem that he was that way unless one noticed the combat boots and black nail polish. Alfred looked Gilbert up and down appraising the look of the man. He wore black dress pants, a white dress shirt and black tie with a red and black sweater vest with a German Iron Cross hanging down from a necklace. "Are you not going to introduce me to your Bruder und sein Freund" Matthew blushed. "You know I will say nothing of his orientation. My own brother is in a very loving yet stiff relationship with some Italian guy. You met Ludwig and Feli."
"Yeah yeah," Matthew said. "This is..." he began when Gilbert rolled his eyes growing impatient. "Gilbert Beilschmidt. Currently an engineering professor in the online department for the state university but academia is losing a lot of luster. So while it does pay well, I am trying to make it big with my band. And if it fails," Gilbert shrugged. "It does provide a fallback."
"Very prudent of you." Ivan said looking at Alfred for some sort of clue. Alfred shrugged as he was not expecting this out of his brother himself. He had told him that Matthew was always very quiet. Gilbert did not seem like a man Matthew would have ever found himself with.
"Never hurts to have a back up plan." Gilbert said. "But the way my der Gatte keeps arranging things and setting things up, I may be able to say Verpiss dich to the university."
"Sounds like fun..."Alfred said, surprised about what his brother had gotten into.
"Look at their left hands..." Ivan whispered...
"What am I looking at?" Alfred whispered back as the two followed his brother and his lover back to the living room where they sat down.
"My German is a little rusty, but seeing those rings led me to think those two are married." Ivan whispered as Alfred stopped and stared around the room. Matthew was sitting in Gilbert's lap watching the television and indeed there was a matching set of rings on their fingers.
"You have got to be kidding me..." Alfred said.
"I do not kid about things like that Fredka..." Ivan said.
Alfred flopped down onto the couch. He didn't know quite how to address this theory, so he just beat around the bush. "So ummmmm... where are Dad and Papa?"
"In the kitchen." Matthew pointed. "Want me to get them?"
"Ummmmm..." With this Matthew got up and headed into the kitchen where bickering between Arthur and Francis was heard about how to just prepare Christmas dinner right was heard when it stopped and the older men came into the living room.
"Boys! So nice to see all of you. And your lovers too. Pleasure." Arthur said as he shook both Ivan and Gilbert's hands. "Alfred, Matthew, I swear I don't hear enough from you boys anymore."
"Yeah..." Alfred said, amazed at the situation.
"Just so busy with work is all..." Matthew said.
"Cut the crap boys." Arthur said. "Your Papa and I have not heard much from either of you and I want to know what happened the past year while that Frog that your papa is makes Christmas dinner. We'll start with you." He said pointing at Matthew when Francis came in.
"Oh 'ello boys! The turkey will be a little while and your dad is right. I worry about you so much. Especially you Matthieu I would have asked earlier about that hair..." Francis said as he sat down next to Arthur.
"Ummmmmmm..." Matthew said blushing. "Well this is...oh where to start..."
"Don't fret Matt. I can handle my Schwiegervater." Gilbert said. "I am Gilbert Beilschmidt. Matthew's husband. You must be the Dad and Papa he's told me so much about."
"Husband?" Arthur said. "You got married and didn't tell anyone!"
"Uhhhhhhhhh...surprise..." Matthew blushed.
"Sacre bleu..." Francis fainted onto the floor.
(obtained via Google Translate)
Nein mein Ahornliebhaber-German-No my maple lover
Bruder und sein Freund- German-brother and his boyfriend
Verpiss dich- German- Fuck off
Schwiegervater-German-Father in law
I wanted to make this a Christmas Oneshot but I don't think I can do that. This will however be a short story done for laughs. There won't be a lot of chapters and like I said, mainly done for laughs. I saw a pic that made me think of "Meet the Parents RusAme" and started from there and it became this. So updates, no promises on how fast but this will be a romantic comedy thing. So anyway, remember to read, well you just did and to review. Ciao for now,