Harry Potter, Self-Insert @15redstones
Celestial misdesignations

Chapter 10: Celestial misdesignations

Seventh floor, where exactly was it again, painting of some crazy guy, something with trolls?

I should've written it down right after I ended up in this world…

Ah, this might be it. A tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy teaching trolls to dance. Interesting, it looks like he's getting half decent results, trolls appear to be more intelligent than most people think.

But that's not why I'm here.

I need the Ravenclaw Diadem. I need the Ravenclaw Diadem. I need the Ravenclaw Diadem.

Nothing. Damn.

I need the room with all the hidden things. I need the room with all the hidden things. I need the room with all the hidden things.

Wow! That door wasn't there a moment ago! Let's see…

...now that's a lot of junk.

This is going to take forever, and it's quite likely that a few of these things are cursed….

Wait a moment, do I have a house elf who spent half his life in a house full of cursed artefacts or not?

"Kreacher!" Crack!

"Young Master Harry? You have called Kreacher?"

"First, it's just Harry, I don't know how often I told you that. Well, I did promise that we were going to do something about Regulus's locket. I think I did mention that there are other objects like it we need to find as well. I'm pretty sure that there's one in this room. Could you help find it? Also, could you warn me if you notice any cursed objects?"

With Kreacher's help, it didn't take too long until I found the second -well, technically third- Horcrux. I still don't trust myself to attempt the Gaunt Shack since I have zero canon knowledge of what protections to expect, and no idea how to get the ones entrusted to Death Eaters. But, it's progress. If I get lucky I might figure out a way to defeat Voldemort without needing to destroy the Horcruxes, but I'm still going to collect them when given the opportunity.

"Hey Kreacher, I did notice that you can apparate here. Human wizards can't, this room is in Hogwarts, largest permanent anti apparition jinx in the country. Do you know if you can side along me?"

"No, Young Master Just Harry. Elves can apparate here, but if one tried to bring along a human they'd get splinched quite badly."

Too bad. Apparating in Hogwarts would've been just too good. I guess that's something only Phoenix owners can do. But still, I got a Horcrux and figured out how to use the Room. It's something!


"NO, NO, NO! There is NO WAY that there are nine planets! If you count Pluto, then you also have to count at least a dozen other dwarf planets in the main asteroid and the Kuiper belt! I won't accept this!"

"Mister Potter! Please calm down!"

So, astronomy lessons aren't going quite as well as I'd have liked. At least the Hubble finally launched with one year delay after that huge scandal when a newspaper got an anonymous insider letter about the botched job on the primary mirror…


Act normal.

Act normal.

Occlumency. Focus.

Act normal.

Act normal.

Ignore the high certainty that an immortal Dark Lord is in the same room as you.

Act normal.

Act normal.

Express mild annoyance at the stuttering teacher.

Act normal.

Act nor-

"Psst, Harry, are you okay?"

"Yeah, Hermione, why are you asking? Everything is fine, don't worry."

Act normal.

Act normal.

Ignore the teacher being secretly evil.


"No way! Quirrel is Voldemort?"


I really hope I'll get better at ignoring Britain's worst mass murderer being in the same room as I am. This is pure mental torture.


"Neville! Nice to see you!"

"Hi, Harry, Hermione."

"How are things going?"

"Great, really. I thought a lot about what you mentioned in the train, about me being my own person and not a copy of my parents, and how I should live my own life. The Hat agreed, you know, and told me that I'd have it much easier in Hufflepuff, but it also told me that Gryffindor might be harder but it'd help me find the courage to find my own destiny, whatever it meant with that. Well, I said that I'd be willing to do that, and here I am - Gryffindor."

"Great for you! Ravenclaw is pretty awesome too. The library even has a small section on muggle sciences!"

Of course that's the first thing Hermione mentions. I was pretty positively surprised too, some of the upper years know quite a bit about electromagnetism and magical interference. Fascinating topic, although sadly calculus isn't on the Hogwarts curriculum and without that it's quite difficult to make sense of it. I might spend some time researching the subject, given that I learnt a lot of it in class years ago..

"Harry, could you please answer my question?"

Damn, I should've listened instead of zoning out and thinking about physics….

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