A Living Lie @pencyke
(Un)Lucky Team Seven

Hi everybody!

As you can see there's a new chapter!

Let the reading begin!


Ever since the Hokage revealed that he did in fact know Ryuto's true identity, Naruto hadn't since been the least bit comfortable in the old man's presence. He couldn't understand why the leader of the village had decided to allow him to continue his ninja career, even though any logical person's first instinct would be to brand him as a potential spy and kick his bucket for him. But instead of ratting me out like a normal person would, the old man just smirks at me like we're apart of some conspiracy. It's not like I don't appreciate it or anything but I just don't get it. Ah, crap! He's doing it now, too!

Currently, Ryuto and the rest of team seven stood at attention in the Hokage's office as, following an outburst from the boy himself and a lecture on mission rankings, the old man actually gave them a C rank protection detail. The gist of the assignment was that they were going to be protecting some bridge builder on his way back to the Land of Waves and while he finished the construction of a bridge that would connect the small country to the main land.

When the genin were told that the entire mission would be taking roughly a month's time Ryuto sent a prayer of thanks to whatever supernatural beings were looking after him that one of his shadow clones had stumbled upon everything he needed to disguise himself without the use of a henge long ago. Immediately after the discovery slightly less than a month prior to the current situation Naruto(as well as his shadow clones) spent as much of his free time as possible researching the techniques and procedures required to properly don a proper long-lasting disguise. He'd spent the first week learning everything he found relevant to his specific disguise while the later weeks had been spent polishing and practicing those skills as well as acclimating to the feeling of actually wearing a second skin.

So when Kakashi told them they had an hour to pack for the trip Ryuto didn't hesitate to send off a copious amount of disguised shadow clones to gather the needed materials for maintaining the farce throughout the mission and then some, after all, it never hurt anyone to be prepared. Over the course of that one hour the cosmetics stores of Konoha no gakure were swarmed and stripped bare by happy-go-lucky young girls just starting to blossom into the beginnings of womanhood wanting to look their best for some reason or another.


It was Sakura who spotted Ryuto ambling down the road an hour late(Yet still earlier than Kakashi).

The pinkeye shook her fist as she shouted at the boy in the distance, "Ryuto!" The only response that the prepubescent girl received was an excited wave as the brunette continued his leisurely jog toward his teammates, "Where were you?! Sasuke and I've been waiting for like an hour! And what's up with that tiny bag? We're supposed to be gone a month! there better not be only ramen in there!" As Sakura continued to scream at the boy in the distance Sasuke briefly wondered if he should point out that Ryuto probably couldn't hear her(or didn't care) judging by the way he kept waving as he ran, but the last Uchiha decided against it reasoning that if his pink haired teammate couldn't deduce such an obvious fact then she wasn't worth the effort anyway.

As the soul female on team seven paused in her historical screaming, she noticed that Ryuto was finally nearing their position by the front gate and realized just how fast the boy was moving(if only by the ten feet of dirt rising behind him) and it didn't look like he was slowing down. A sudden thought pierced through the haze of anger that dampened Sakura's senses, Why was he late anyways?

It was at that point that Ryuto raced over and skidded to a halt in front of the other two members of team seven, "Hey guys, sorry I'm late, you will not believe how long the grocery store lines are at this time of day. I mean, yeah it took a bit of searching to sniff out all of their stocks of instant ramen but still, 50 different stores and not one of them had a line less than four shoppers long!" Ryuto paused to make sure that his teammates understood the problem with that. They didn't.

During that pause in dialogue Sakura tried to explode, "You mean to tell me that you were late be-!" Before she was interrupted as Ryuto aired an essential question, "Hey, where's Kakashi?" To which he was answered by the appearance of their jonin sensei and client via shun shin, "Right here. Oh, good to see all of you are here too." Well then, let's move out." At that point Sakura didn't know who she should be more mad at so she just settled for everybody except for Sasuke because Sasuke isn't just anybody(He's Sasuke).

"You people drive me CRAZY!" The irate Kunoichi was met with silence and the backs of her teammates, sensei, and client as Ryuto casually called back to her, "At least your up there with the elite ninja in that regard." As Ryuto casually ignored his teammate's rant he thought back to why he actually was late, Man, if that powdered hair coloring took an hour to set in then I'm glad I didn't get that permanent hair die. Not only would it not wash out, who knows how long it would have taken to dry, and don't get me started on how often I'd need to reapply. That thought completed, Ryuto took in his surroundings and let it sink in that he was really outside of the village. A smile creeped onto the boy's face, and both Kakashi and Sasuke swore that the boy was actually glowing.

Kakashi sighed as he whipped out his favorite book, I wish I could've become a man at that age, though I do wonder who it was that actually did the deed with him. It was with perverted thoughts such as this that Team Seven began their journey and their first C rank mission.


Team Seven's first day outside of Konoha came and went, completely uneventful. As the group set up for the night the crickets sang, the wind howled, and the genin grumbled about sore feet. Well, Sakura was the one grumbling. Sasuke decided that it wasn't worth it to complain about his aching feet, instead settling down in the shadows of a tree, near enough for his presence to be known, yet still maintaining an air of distance and mystery. Kakashi read his porn while discreetly overseeing everything. The old bridge builder, Tazuna, looked on in amazement as Ryuto moved and set up the campsite quickly and efficiently, pitching the tents with a practiced hand, lighting a fire with an ample supply of friction, even going so far as to set up a suspended skewer with a pheasant already caught, feathered, and cooking.

Tazuna whistled in appreciation, "Damn son, if I'd've blinked I would've missed it. How'd you learn to camp so good?" A flicker of some kind of emotion appeared in Ryuto's eye, but it was gone in an instant as Ryuto's face creased in a wide grin, "Really? You think I'm good? Yahoo! Those extra camping classes payed off!"

Sakura glanced over, ready to yell at the 'brunette' to be quiet, when the words died in her throat as she finally noticed that the camp was indeed set up. Though one detail stuck out to the girl, "Hey, Ryuto-baka!" The boy stopped in the middle of his achievement dance to look at his pink haired teammate, "What's up, Pink Fury?" Sakura ground her teeth as she fought the urge to pummel the boy, as it was his habit to attach ridiculous nick-names to his teammates. Sakura pointed at the sizzling bird, and with a great effort, kept herself from screaming in anger, "When did you have time to go hunting?" Ryuto responded with an even tone and a blank face, "You'd be surprised what the world is willing to throw at a man while he answers the call of nature." It took the kunoichi of the team a moment to process the sagely nods of ascension from all of the males present before she exploded in rage, literally flying at her teammate in a pink fury, "WHY YOU IDIOT!" Ryuto made a show of dodging the feminine fury by only a hair, "Ah! Emo Fury! I need your help!"

An air of killing intent wafted off of Sasuke as his frown deepened and the upper half of his face was obscured by shadows and his bangs as Sasuke answered the disguised blonde's cry for help, "…No." As Ryuto ducked under the Pink Fury's fist he turned toward the cyclopes reading his porn, "No! Emo Fury has betrayed me! C'mon you have to help me, Pervert Fury! Only those worse than trash abandon their comrades, right? Right?!" The Copy Ninja Kakashi turned the page as he eye-smiled, "Only those worse than trash try to drag their comrades into the line of sight of feminine fury, or, in this case, Pink Fury." As Ryuto jumped back to make some space, he reached into his weapon pouch, "I had hoped that I wouldn't have to use this so soon, but you've forced my hand!" Time seemed to slow down for everyone in that clearing as they tracked the red projectile's trajectory through the air.

Somewhere in a basement across the multiverse a d20 was cast, immediately followed by cheering as the one who'd thrown the die cheered, "Natural 20!"

The blur of red struck Sakura dead in the face. No one else moved as the girl licked a bit of the now mush from around her mouth, immediately recognizing the flavor, "Tomato? I hate tomatoes!" In a blur of movement Sakura was on her back with Sasuke on top of her, a crazy look in his eye. Normally an Uchiha fangirl would kill to be in that sort of position with the object of their desires except for the amount of killing intent pouring off of the boy. It was nothing to Kakashi who'd experienced far worse countless times, but the inexperienced girl shook uncontrollably as the invisible pressure pushed down on her. Sasuke leaned down so that his mouth was right next to Sakura's ear as he spoke in little more than a whisper, "What did you say?" The girl struggled to answer through her chattering teeth, "I-i-i-i-i, I s-s-said I h-hat-t-te t-t-t-t-tom-m-mat-toes-s-s-s." And then Sasuke smiled. It was a creepy thing that shouldn't have existed and Naruto suddenly wished he could turn off his photographic memory. Everyone watched as he spoke in the same unnaturally sweet whisper even as he lifted his hand past his shoulder, "Just checking." With that said, the last Uchiha backhanded the pinkette. As he raised his hand for another swing, Sasuke was stopped.

The black haired boy turned to see that it was Ryuto who was keeping him from punishing the blasphemer for her crimes, "Let go." Ryuto didn't, "That's enough Sasuke, I don't want anyone to get hurt. It's not your fight." The last Uchiha's angry gaze bored into the disguised blonde, "Let go." When Ryuto shook his head Sasuke contorted while pulling his arm as he tried to twist his teammate's arm into a restraining lock while Ryuto did the same. Among the twisted cacophony of limbs and clothed flesh, a hand reached into a weapon pouch and drew forth another tomato. The red orb was launched into the air and as soon as Sasuke saw the fruit tumbling out of the sky, he broke away from the other boy and caught the juicy tomato before it's smooth surface could be marred by the dirt and rocks on the ground. The group watched in bewilderment as Sasuke curled around the tomato making cooing sounds that were suspiciously similar to the words, "My precious", before Sasuke stood up proudly and turned to make his way back to his previous spot.

Kakashi sighed as he flipped the page, If they don't pull together somehow they're gonna end up dead a lot sooner than later. The Copy Ninja's gaze lazily passed over the genin team. Sakura was in a sort of daze as she stared of into space, the ugly purple coloration of a bruise just visible underneath the tomato paste on the girl's swelling cheek. Sasuke was being even broodier than normal and sending death glares at both of his teammates even as he raised the tomato to his lips. As the grey haired jonin's gaze wandered toward his third student's direction Kakashi only saw the genin's back as he trudged out of the campsite, his parting words being, "I'm taking first watch."

As soon as he was out of his team's direct line of sight Ryuto summoned a half-dozen shadow clones to make up a defensive perimeter around the camp even as he moved deeper into the forest, his eyes and nose both alert for specific signs as the disguised blonde began his search.

It was just as the sun was beginning to rise above the horizon that Ryuto returned to camp, a few leaves clutched in his fist. "You know, Ryuto, you didn't have to stay out there the whole night. You could have easily asked any of us to relieve you." The boy nodded as he sat down next to Kakashi and pulled out a small grinding stone, "I had stuff to do." The jonin nodded, he recognized the leaves the boy was grinding into paste, "You know, most people give flowers to the girl they like." The boy shook his head and replied evenly, not taking his eyes off of his work, "This is more of an apology gift than anything of a romantic nature." Kakashi raised an eyebrow at the boy's uncharacteristic seriousness, "Besides, could you really imagine me hooking up with a chick like Pink Fury and surviving to tell the tale?" And then he was back to his regular goofy self. The jonin shook his head, though not at his student's question. Ryuto didn't regularly have moments like this but they happened enough to peak Kakashi's interest, but with the order from the hokage not to look into it Kakashi would have to figure out a way to get his student to open up about whatever it was that was causing him to act like that. "Huh, speak of the devil, here she comes."

Ryuto turned to see that Sakura had indeed just exited her tent, thankfully no trace of the tomato left on the girl's face. That also meant that Ryuto had an unadulterated view of just how hard Sasuke had hit her, the edge of her cheek started out blue and just got darker from there on until the skin had actually turned black at the sight of impact. "Sakura." The girl's eyes were possessed of a far away glassy look and as she turned to face the boy he could tell that she wasn't really looking at him. Ryuto stood up and pressed the poultice he'd concocted into the pinkette's hands, his eyes staring deep into hers, "This is for your bruise." And with that the boy turned on his heel and skewered the rabbit he'd caught and prepared the night before in order to make breakfast and the smells that wafted from the fire were enough to bring even Sasuke from the depths of his tent. That morning the traveling party ate in silence.


The sun shined, the sky was clear, the birds were even singing. It seemed to Tazuna that the world was laughing at the group's somber atmosphere. He turned a pitying gaze at the pink haired ninja as she applied the green mush to her bruised face for the twelfth time that day. Ninja sure are hardcore. If these leaf ninja beat each other up over a fruit what would they do to an enemy threatening the success of their mission? The bridge builder should have felt reassured by this but in truth it only worried him, What'll they do when they find out I lied? The old man took a swig of his alcohol as he peered fearfully at the indifferent Uchiha and then switched to the now serious orphan, Heck, what kind of person would unleash that kind of fury on their own teammate? He did throw the tomato so he must've known what was going to happen, right? Before he could continue thinking, Tazuna was knocked out of his thoughts when someone spoke in a voice that sent a shiver down his old spine.

"One down."


What'd you think? Was it weird? Funny? Sasuke's a prick? Let me know with a review!

And don't worry more action next chapter.

1. Chapter 1 3061 0 0 2. The second chapter 2732 0 0 3. Third time's the charm! 2789 0 0 4. Four Man Team! 2365 0 0 5. Five on One 2229 0 0 6. Six Eyes Watching Me 2654 0 0 7. (Un)Lucky Team Seven 2637 0 0 8. Ate the Dust 3084 0 0 9. Nine Tales 2692 0 0 10. Pending Ignition…10…9… 2800 0 0 11. Cranked up to Eleven 3131 0 0 12. Twelve Tolls of Death's Bell 1761 0 0 13. Baker's Dozen 1970 0 0 14. Break time 3032 0 0 15. Tantrums Work! 2291 0 0 16. Oh boy, FLASHBACKS! 1110 0 0 17. Smoke signals 2153 0 0 18. Great Acting 2812 0 0 19. Days Spent Well 4242 0 0 20. The First Bout 2116 0 0 21. Sasuke vs Kiba 1170 0 0 22. Sakura vs Tenten 1579 0 0 23. The Rest of the Prelims 3112 0 0 24. Emergency Therapy Session! 3230 0 0 25. A Real Bad Time 3083 0 0 26. True to Form 2871 0 0 27. Impact 2434 0 0 28. Aftermath 2859 0 0 29. Day 1 2520 0 0 30. Memory Lane 2884 0 0 31. Midnight Stakeout 3346 0 0 32. Tournament Part 1 3358 0 0 33. Tournament Part 2 2864 0 0 34. Tournament Part 3 2300 0 0