Happy Father's Day, Loki
Loki dreamed of gazing at a blue tailed comet with a golden-haired woman, laughing at the joy upon her face, when the "Ride of the Valkyries" theme interrupted his beautiful reverie. He slowly ascended from the realm of dreams and grabbed his phone from the nightstand and peered at it blearily. There was a text from Thor.
Brother, I have invited Father and Mother over to celebrate Father's Day. Can you cook dinner for us?
Loki blinked then rolled his eyes. And you were going to tell me when? When they were knocking on my door?
I just thought of it. And they said they wished to spend time with our family again. Did I wake you? You sound grumpy.
No, I was up all night to get lucky. Of course you woke me, Thor! It's four in the morning!
You were up all night to get what?
Never mind, brother. Pop culture reference. More eye rolling.
Can you cook dinner? We could take them to a restaurant but I thought it might be better if we just stayed home and you grilled something.
Something meaning Angus burgers and fillet mignon steaks and shrimp?
That sounds wonderful! Will you? Please, Loki.
Oh . . . okay. Quite giving me puppydog eyes through the phone.
You can see through the phone now?
Loki hit himself in the forehead. Seriously, Thor? Are you drunk?
Never mind. Tell Father to use the Bifrost to be here at six'o'clock Midgard time. The food will be on the table.
Thank you, Loki. I will bring the mead. And a cake from Rispoli's Bakery.
That's nice. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep. Because today I can actually sleep in.
Loki yawned and turned his notifications off so he could get some sleep. Sadly, he couldn't find the dream of the golden-haired woman again. But at least he managed to get several hours worth of quality sleep time in before Aleta and Max woke him by jumping on the bed and yelling "Happy Father's Day, Dad!"
Loki groaned and opened one emerald eye.
"Morning, scamps. Tell me something. If it's Father's Day, why are you waking me up?"
We just wanted to be the first ones to wish you Happy Father's Day!" Aleta said.
"Yeah!' Max said and Loki carefully pulled himself up so he could receive a hug from each of them.
"Thank you," he said then the toddlers carefully got off the bed.
"Now you just lay there!" Aleta said as they left the room and Loki wondered what was going on. Shrugging, he closed his eyes while trying hard to get back to the dream of the woman with flowing blonde hair when the sudden sound of the smoke alarm made his eyes snap open.
Down in the kitchen, Sam ran to open a window to let the smoke out from the burned dishtowel lying in the sink. "Hunter, get the broom, quick!"
"I told you to use the oven mitt, Hunter," Belle scolded.
"Okay, what is burning?" he called from the bedroom.
"Nothing, Dad!" Sam called back. "It's fine!"
The smoke alarm continued to wail and Loki could smell SOMETHING had become charcoal.
"How do you shut it off?" he heard Serena yell.
"Gimme a minute, okay?" Sam answered back annoyed.
"Guys, WHAT is burning?"
"NOTHING!" his girls and Hunter chorused.
Better get up, Laufeyson, before the fire department pays you another visit because your house is burning down! He swung his legs over the side of the bed.
"Okay, I'm coming down!" he shouted.
"NO!" they all screamed.
"Dad, you'll ruin the surprise!" Belle cried, rushing up the stairs.
"Belle, what is going on down there? I know I smell something burning."
"Dad, relax. Hunter turned the toaster up too high and your English muffin got charred. Now please, just get back in bed." his daughter begged.
"Are you sure that's all it is? Nothing is on fire?"
She shook her head rapidly. "No, sir. Nothing is on fire." Now, she thought guiltily. Because I put the fire out with magic.
Sensing she was telling the truth, Loki climbed back into bed and pulled the covers up. "Will breakfast be done soon?"
"Yup," Belle assured him. "Why don't you read until it gets done?" She handed him his tablet, smiling brightly.
"I'm going to go check and see how things are going," she told him and ran downstairs.
"Phew! That was close!" she hissed to her siblings.
Hunter looked up with the broom in his hand, which he had used to turn off the smoke alarm. "Good thing, because Dad would have flipped out if he knew a dish towel caught fire."
"What did you tell him?" Sam whispered.
"The truth," Belle replied. "That the English muffins burned." She indicated the two black circles on the paper towel on the counter. "I just didn't tell him about the dish towel."
"Okay, Sam you do the English muffins," Hunter sighed. "Before the kitchen catches on fire."
"I'll do the bacon," Belle volunteered.
"You take over the eggs then," Sam said and handed him the spatula.
"What should we do?" Aleta asked.
"Has anyone fed Mischief or Odin?" Serena asked.
"I'll do it!" Max said while going over to the large bag of dry dog food then noticed neither Odin nor Mischief were in the kitchen. "Where did they go?"
"Did someone let Odin out in the backyard?" asked Serena.
"Uh-oh!" Lucy said and they looked to see the cat and dog heading down the hallway. Before any of the kids could catch them, Mischief and Odin ran up the stairs, down the hallway and into Loki's room.
"Well, good morning, you two," Loki said with a smile and Mischief hopped onto the bed. Odin knew not to go up onto the bed unless Loki said it was alright and panted when he patted the mattress to signal it was okay.
"Morning, Papa," Odin said as he settled down next to Loki and Loki could smell the scent of smoke on him and Mischief.
Mischief laid on Loki's stomach and began to groom her fur, trying to rid herself of the smoke scent.
"Did the smoke alarm frighten you?" Loki asked.
"Yes, it was very loud," Mishchief said with a sharp flick of her tail.
"But Hunter killed it with a broom," Odin said and Loki's eyes went wide.
"He used the broom to turn it off," Mischief corrected.
"The smoke makes my nose tingle" Odin whuffed. He buried his nose in the blanket.
Loki smiled as he patted the dog and Odin wagged his tail.
"Well, it's over now," Loki said and Odin lifted his head.
"Why are they making such a fuss?" Mischief asked.
"Because today is a special day. It's a day for children to celebrate their fathers," Loki explained while stroking the cat.
"Can we celebrate, too?! You are our father!" Odin said with a small bark.
"Of course you can," Loki said.
Odin bounced off the bed as he ran out of the room and Loki wondered where he was going. A few second later, Odin returned with his favorite bone then got back onto the bed and placed the bone onto Loki's stomach.
"Happy Papa's Day!" Odin said and wagged his tail.
Loki struggled not to laugh. "That's . . . umm . . . very kind of you, Odin. "
Then he added," We can share this beneath the tree in the yard later when I am in my wolf shape."
"Yay!" Odin said.
Mischief didn't know what to give Loki as she hopped off the bed and left the room. She went into her room when she spied her favorite stick toy, a wooden stick with a feather connected to a string, and she picked the stick up in her mouth. She carried the stick back into the room when she hopped onto the bed and placed the toy on his chest.
"For you, Papa," she said.
"How lovely! We can play with this later." He scratched behind her ears and she purred.
He placed the wooden stick on the floor as Mischief climbed up onto his lap and snuggled against him.
"Do you think my brother and sister are giving presents to their new papa?" she asked. Loki looked at his phone then he picked the phone up and texted Tony.
Well, they did leave me two dead mice in my slippers this morning. Does that count? Tony sent and Loki tried not to laugh.
"Yes, they left him something," Loki said and placed the phone down.
In the kitchen, the kids were almost done assembling their Father's Day breakfast.
"Right! Where's the orange juice?" Sam asked.
"Here," Vince said, handing her the glass.
"I have the coffee," Belle said. "But we'd better carry them up separately so they don't spill."
'Here's the paper," Vince held out the morning edition of the Wall Street Journal.
"I want to carry the coffee!" Aleta said.
"Sorry, Spark, it's too hot for you to carry. Here's the orange juice," Sam said and handed her the glass.
"Thanks, Vince," Hunter said and placed the paper on the tray.
"Don't forget the napkin," Serena said and tucked one next to the plate.
"I'm finished with the flowers," Serena said and placed the small vase with nine little rose buds on the tray.
"I got the presents," Nate said as he turned the wheelchair around to show the presents neatly piled in the basket under the wheelchair.
Lucy set the vase on the tray. "And here's the cards." She showed them the cards in a small bag.
"Okay, Max, go tell Dad to close his eyes," Sam said and Max nodded. He quickly ran out of the room then went upstairs and into Loki's room.
"Morning, Imp," Loki said.
"Dad, you gotta close your eyes for the surprise," Max said.
"Oooooooooooo-kay," Loki said as he closed his eyes and covered them with his hands.
"He's got his eyes closed!" Max shouted and Loki sighed, rolling his eyes behind his eyelids.
The kids entered the room while Aleta and Max climbed onto the bed and Mischief and Odin moved to the foot of the bed. Loki watched while Hunter placed the tray on his lap then the presents and gift bags were placed on the bed and he smiled.
"Happy Father's Day!" the kids said together and Loki felt tears in the corners of his eyes.
Loki smiled at his children and began to eat his breakfast. " This is very good. Who made this?"
"I poured the orange juice," Lucy said.
"Sam had put the coffee maker on last night, but I poured it into the mug," Vince said.
"She had to remake the English muffins," Serena said.
"Yeah. Sorry about that," Hunter said.
"I'm just glad no one got burned," Loki said.
"I made the bacon," Belle said.
"Hunter finished up the eggs for me," Sam said.
"I wanted to bring up the coffee, but Sam said she didn't want me to get burned if it spilled," Aleta said.
"That was a good idea," Loki said and kissed the top of Aleta's head.
"I got the paper," Vince said.
"I did the flowers and Lucy put the vase on the tray," Serena said.
"And I have the presents," Nate said.
"Well, I guess I better eat," Loki said. He started eating when Max frowned and Loki wondered what was wrong. "Are you ok, Imp?"
"We forgot the Loki Charms," Max said and Loki smiled.
"This is fine," he said and Max snugged next to his papa.
Loki ate his breakfast, finding it very good. Once he had finished, he took the paper and set it on the bed. He admired the flowers then smiled. "Okay, what present shall I open first?"
"Open mine, Daddy!" Aleta said and Nate moved the wheelchair closer to the bed. Sam handed Aleta the box wrapped in Disney Princesses paper as Loki smiled and took the box from his youngest daughter. He carefully opened the envelope with the homemade card and read what Sam had helped her write. He felt a lump in his throat as he smiled at Aleta then opened the box. Inside were two white dress shirts and a green tie with gold flecks and Aleta looked at him, "Do you like it?"
"I love it!" Loki said and hugged her. "I can wear those to work and make your Uncle Derek jealous."
"Me, next!" Max said and Sam handed him the box with the Spiderman wrapping paper. Loki opened the envelope as he read the card and smiled. He opened the box when he saw the brown faux fur bear feet slippers and Max smiled. "Now you look like the Bear King!"
Smiling, Loki moved the bedding back so he could put the slippers on after Sam had removed the tray and hugged his youngest son.
"We're next!" Lucy said and she and Serena handed him the gift bags. Inside were some gift cards to his favorite clothing store and Barns and Noble and he read the cards.
"Thank you, girls," he said.
"These are from us," Nate said and Vince handed him the gift bags. Inside was a box set of the show 24 which he hadn't seen yet and three DVDs of movies he wanted to see, but didn't have the time to see in the cinema.
"Daddy, what is Crimson Peak?" Aleta asked.
"It's a really scary movie," Sam said and Loki arched an eyebrow. "I saw it on Netflix."
"If it's scary, I don't want to watch," she said with a shake of her head and Loki smiled.
"Well, thank you, boys," Loki said and Vince and Nate nodded.
"My turn!" Belle said. She handed him the box wrapped in blue wrapping paper and he opened the envelope. He read the card as tears appeared in his green eyes and he sniffed. Aleta handed him a tissue from the tissue box on the night table and he smiled at Belle. He opened the box when he pulled out the white t-shirt and YOU GOT LOKI'D was printed on the front. "Do you like it, Daddy?"
"Oh yes," Loki said and hugged her.
"My turn," Hunter said and handed Loki a box wrapped in green and gold paper. Loki read the card as he smiled at her and she smiled back. He opened the box when he removed the white t-shirt and a photograph of the kids and the pets were print on the front. MY KIDS ARE MY GREATEST TREASURE was printed under the photograph and Loki turned the t-shirt around so they could see it.
"Guess I'm last," Sam said and handed Loki the large present wrapped in gold paper. Loki read the card then unwrapped the present and his eyes widened. A light brown wood frame was around a black ink sketch of the children and the pets and WE LOVE YOU, DADDY was at the bottom.
"I...," Loki said then got out of bed and hugged Sam. "I love it!"
"Great. Now can you let go? I need air!"
Laughing, Loki let go as he looked at the children and the pets and the love he felt for each and every one of them warmed him to his core.
"Thank you. Now I guess I'd better get dressed and come downstairs. Your uncle is going to be over around dinnertime with your grandparents."
"Bestefar and Bestemor are coming?!" Aleta asked.
"Yes, it was your uncle's idea,."
"But we don't have a present for Bestefar!" Max said.
'Why don't you make him something? You're good at that." Loki suggested.
Aleta thought for a minute. "I know, Max! We can make him a hat! With the new kit Uncle Steve got us."
"Yeah!" Max said and they got off the bed and left the room.
"Why don't all of you make him something?" Loki said and the children left the room.
"What color hat are we making?" he heard Max ask Aleta. " I want blue."
"Green is Dad's color. Blue."
"How about blue AND green?!" Sam said.
"Yeah! They go together!" Max said.
Smiling, Loki shook his head and sat down on the edge of the bed. Odin snuggled next to him as Loki scratched the puppy's ear and Odin sighed.
"Would Grandpa like a bone, too?" Odin asked.
"Yes, I think he would," Loki said at the thought of his father's face when Odin placed a bone in his lap.
Mischief began playing with the wrapping paper, jumping on it and batting it all over the floor.
"What are you going to get Grandpa, Mischief?" Odin asked.
Mischief looked up from pouncing. "Uh . . . how about a mouse?"
"As long as it's alive and we can release it later," Loki warned and Mischief nodded.
Loki looked at the t-shirt with the photograph of the children and the pets when he waved his hand and a slightly larger white t-shirt appeared next to it and MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE MY GREATEST TREASURE was under the photograph.
"Ooooo! Grandpa will love that!" Mischief said.
Loki waved his hand as the t-shirt was wrapped in a box with golden wrapping paper and a golden bow on top. He wasn't sure about the card as he shrugged, picked up the box, and headed out of the room.
Down in the kitchen, the kids were in a panic trying to clean up the huge mess from making breakfast. Sam put all the pans into the dishwasher while Hunter washed the counter and the floor where the eggs had spilled. Belle threw the burnt dishtowel away and lit a candle to take away the lingering smoke smell.
Serena swept the crumbs into the dustpan with the broom.
Vince and Nate took the trash out and Lucy filled the cat and dog dishes.
"Well. Look at all of you," Loki said and was a little suspicious that they were startled.
"Hi, Dad," Hunter said, smiling a bit too widely. "You want some tea?"
"That would be nice," Loki said and watched Hunter make some tea. Loki walked to the counter when he noticed scorch marks on the toaster which weren't there before and he blinked. He thought back to what Belle told him about the English muffins burning, but it wouldn't have left a scorch mark down the back of the toaster. He then noticed one of the dishtowels was missing and leaned against the counter. "It's nice of you to clean up."
"Well, we made breakfast so we cleaned," Sam said quickly.
"You missed a spot," Loki said and turned the toaster around. The kids froze when they looked at the scorch mark and he arched his eyebrows up.
"We're dead," Vince whispered.
He crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay. Who wants to tell me how this happened?"
"Uhhhhhhhhh..." Nate said.
"You're not going to ground us, are you?" Serena asked.
"If it was an accident and no one got hurt, no."
"Okay . . . see I was making the English muffins only I had the toaster on too high and when I went to get them out, I grabbed a dish towel and part of it fell in the toaster and caught on fire," Hunter admitted.
Loki blinked his eyes a few times then nodded and sighed.
"Why didn't you just tell me this?"
"We didn't want to ruin Father's Day," Lucy said.
"You didn't. But you know I don't like lying."
"It wasn't really a lie. We just didn't tell you all of it," Nate said.
"Next time, tell me," Loki said with a small grin and the kids nodded.
Loki waved his hands as the kitchen became a mess and he headed out of room.
"Now clean that up before your uncle and grandparents arrive." he said and his laughter echoed down the hallway.
"DAAD!" his children wailed.
A short time later the backyard was filled the scent of Angus burgers, fillet mignon steaks and shrimps on the grill and Loki carefully flipped one of the burgers with the spatula.
The grilled vegetables were marinating in a pan, and the corn on the cob was in the pot on the extra burner. Watermelon and pineapple were on skewers waiting to be grilled.
Sam, Lucy, Belle, and Serena were making the macaroni salad as well as spicy potato salad and the boys were setting up the picnic tables and folding chairs.
"Can I help with the burgers, Daddy?" Max asked. Loki looked down at him when he carefully picked his son up and showed him how to use the spatula.
Max grinned as he looked at Loki's green apron that read I Cook What I Want -And You'll Eat it an Like It.
"I need an apron, Daddy."
Loki smiled. He waved a hand and a smaller green apron appeared on Max that read Loki's Little Helper.
Hunter and Nate put green and blue streamers on the two biggest chairs and two signs that read Happy Father's Day on the back of the chairs.
"Did you finish your present, Max?" Loki asked his youngest son.
Max nodded. "Uh huh. I think it looks cool. Bestefar should like it."
"I'm sure he will love it because you made it, Max," Loki reassured him.
Everything was placed on trays with foil wrapped around it to keep it hot, and Loki traced runes to keep things hot without drying them out.
Hunter, Vince, and Nate filled a cooler with ice, then added soda, water, and sparkling flavored seltzer.
Loki made sure the chocolate layer cake the kids had baked was on the dining room table along with the oatmeal apple crisp Sam had made. French vanilla and peanut butter chocolate ice cream was in the freezer.
"Dad, where are they?" Sam asked worriedly. "Shouldn't they have been here by now?"
"Sam, you know that time runs a bit differently here than on Asgard," Loki reminded her. "Plus the traffic is horrendous on holidays in the city."
He then recalled something he had been meaning to discuss with his eldest and with Hunter after the incident with Tom at the horse ranch. He supposed now was as good as any to discuss this particular topic.
"Sam, go and get Hunter. There's something I need to discuss with you," Loki said quietly.
"Like what, Dad?" Sam asked, puzzled.
"Go get your brother. I'll explain in the study." Loki said and 'ported up to his study, where he could fetch a certain book, and also lock the door when his two eldest got upstairs.
Sam and Hunter climbed the stairs, looking at each other in bewilderment.
"Any idea what this is about?" Sam asked her brother.
Hunter shook his head. "Nope. I don't think I've done anything lately to get grounded for. You think it has something to do with almost setting the kitchen on fire?"
"No idea. But if it was about that, why not just lecture us downstairs?" Sam said, mystified.
"I guess we'll find out," Hunter sighed, and entered the study.
They found Loki sitting behind his rolltop, flipping through a book.
"Oh good. You're here. Lock the door please. I don't want any interruptions."
"Dad, are we in trouble?" were the first words out of Hunter's mouth.
"No. I just need to speak to you privately about something and I don't want the younger ones coming in here."
"Is it about Uncle Thor and Bestefar and Bestemor?" Sam guessed. "Are they not coming to the Father's Day dinner?"
"No, nothing like that," Loki said, sounding a shade awkward. "They're still coming as far as I know."
"Okay. So what is all this about, Dad?" Hunter asked. "Are we moving? Did somebody we know die?"
Loki shook his head. "None of those. I . . . Sam, when we went to the horse ranch a few weeks ago, I noticed that you . . . seemed to like Tom a lot."
Hunter's jaw dropped. "You did? You like Tom?"
Sam went red. "Shut up, Hunter! I didn't like Tom!" She stopped when Loki eyed her knowingly. "Okay . . . maybe I did . . . a little . . . but he's got a girlfriend so . . . it doesn't really matter now. Dad, why are we talking about this?"
Loki cleared his throat. "Well, I realized that I . . . have been remiss in my fatherly duties."
"Say what?" sputtered Hunter.
Sam stared at him, a light dawning in her hazel eyes. "OMG, Dad! No!"
Hunter looked from one to the other. "Samantha, what is he talking about? Dad, will you quit speaking Asgardian and start speaking English?"
Sam hit herself in the forehead. "Oy! Hunter, I swear, you can be dense as a fence post sometimes! He wants to give us The Talk!"
Hunter gave Loki a horrified look. "What? No, Dad. I do not need to hear this!" He squirmed like he was being bitten alive by fire ants. No, not this, please, Lord! "I already know how to get a girl pregnant!"
"Hunter!" Sam cried.
"Wait, that so did not come out right!" Hunter cried, frantically.
"Now there's an accomplishment to be proud of," drawled his father sarcastically. "However, I'm going to tell you how to not get a girl pregnant."
Sam froze. "Uh, Dad? We had sex ed in school. They talked about everything."
"Uh, we learned about the reproductive system in men and women and where everything goes," Hunter added, flushing. "So you don't need to torture us."
"Because you know how to get a girl pregnant," Loki repeated. "What did they tell you about contraceptives?"
"That you need to use them so you don't get pregnant or get diseases," Sam replied. "See? We KNOW."
"No, you don't. I bet those teachers never showed you how to use a condom," Loki interjected.
"That's it, I'm leaving!" Hunter stood up and started heading towards the door.
"Hunter David Laufeyson! You get your butt back in that chair!" Loki growled.
"No! I don't need to see this!" his son yelped.
"Oh my God, Hunter! If I have to sit through this so do you!" Sam yelled.
She dragged her brother back over by the desk and shoved him into the chair.
Loki sighed. "You know, you aren't making this any easier."
Sam rolled her eyes heavenward. "Why me, God?"
"Dad, I'm twelve!" Hunter objected. "My voice hasn't even broken yet."
"But you know how to get a girl pregnant," Sam repeated.
"The longer you two argue, the longer you get to be in here," Loki warned.
They quit sniping at each other.
Loki reached into the desk drawer and took out a banana and a condom. He had borrowed one from Tony, who had then winked and asked Loki to tell him if he had a good time. Loki had just shrugged and said nothing.
"Okay. Hunter, pay attention. You especially need to know this."
"Dad, it's a banana," his son remarked.
Sam rolled her eyes.
Loki sighed. "Would you prefer your Uncle Bruce's plastic model of a penis?"
"No!" Sam yelped. "The banana is fine. Hunter, shut up!"
"Dad, you don't really need to do this," his son began, flushing. "I can look it up on youtube."
"What are you saying? You'd rather go online and get some wrong information rather than listen to me about the correct way to use contraceptives?" Loki queried, one eyebrow raised.
"Rather than be embarrassed into next week? Yes!" Hunter cried.
"Too bad. If I teach you, I know it's done right." He unwrapped the condom and demonstrated, explaining that if you didn't know how to do it correctly, the condom would break.
"Now, before I have you try it, I think we need to discuss the differences between crushes and actual love and what the difference is between just having sex and making love." Norns, I hope I'm doing this right! Loki thought.
"Isn't the best way to prevent pregnancy not having sex?" Hunter interrupted.
"Yes. And that is a perfectly viable option. But let's say that you're going out with a girl, or a guy, and he or she is pressuring you to do it and you agree or you don't want to wait till you're engaged or married. In that case you need to use protection."
"Any guy that sleeps with one of my sisters is going to need protection all right—police protection from you, Dad. And Uncle Thor and the rest of the Avengers." Hunter remarked.
"This is why we're all going to remain virgins," Sam muttered.
Please, Norns! Loki prayed fervently. I don't want to commit murder because I caught my daughter and her boyfriend making out in his convertible.
"Dad, if you aren't going to allow us to date, why are we even talking about this?" she asked.
"Hey, I never said you weren't allowed to date. I just want to make sure they guy you're dating—or the girl—is a good person who won't use you or hurt you and then go on their merry way." He cleared his throat again. "Okay, so let's discuss how you know the difference between a crush and actual true love. Sam?"
"I'd rather discuss getting a root canal without anesthetic," she muttered.
"Why? This should be easy. You had a crush on Tom," her brother pointed out. "We all know you were attracted to him and wanted to make out with him in the hayloft until you found out he was dating some other chick."
"Dad, can I kill him?"
Loki frowned at his son. "Hunter, is your name Sam?"
"Then stop answering for her. Sam, go ahead."
Glaring at her brother, Sam continued. "Yeah, I did have a crush on Tom. But I never said anything about making out in the hayloft. I only just met him, for Pete's sake! I was attracted to his looks and how nice he was with the horses and all of us. But that's all a crush is—an attraction. And it wears off and usually doesn't go anywhere. But true love, that's like when you're attracted to each other and you have long conversations on the phone about all kinds of things-"
"While your brother upchucks in the next room," Hunter remarked.
"My brother shouldn't be eavesdropping," Sam shot back. "Anyway, you spend a lot of time together and then one day you realize that you love each other and you get married. Then you go do it and that's called making love."
Loki was impressed with her answer as he nodded and Hunter rolled his eyes..
"Can we go now?" Hunter asked.
"No. Hunter, here's one for you. What do you do if you are dating a girl you really like and she—"
"—she says no?" Hunter interrupted. "I do what she says. Because no means no. Dad, you've told me this a thousand times."
"That wasn't what I was going to say," Loki told him. "I'm glad that you understand that when a girl says no it really means no, however. Because no son of mine will ever force a woman or else I will make sure he goes to jail. But, what I was going to say was what if you are dating a girl you really like and she wants to have sex but you don't feel comfortable with that and you also realize you don't have any protection with you. What should you do?"
Hunter swallowed. "Um . . . I should ask her to wait?"
"You sound unsure about that. Why?"
"Because . . . guys usually don't do that," his son admitted, flushing. "And I don't want to seem like a wimp."
"So you're gonna do it with her and maybe get her pregnant?" Sam put in. "Hunter, that's dumb! You tell her you need to wait and go the drugstore. Or ask if she's using the pill. Because if you got some girl pregnant, Dad would kill you."
"What if I accidentally got her pregnant?" Hunter refuted.
"How can you accidentally get someone pregnant?" Sam cried.
"Uh . . .like what if it broke? Or something. That can happen, right?" Hunter was beet red.
"Yes it can," Loki interrupted. "Which is why you should always use two forms of contraceptives. Yours and hers. So you can prevent an accidental pregnancy. Of course the best way to do that is to refrain from actually having sex. Which is what I would suggest you do. However, I know there's a lot of pressure these days on kids to just do it, and there's all this stuff on social media encouraging it. But I do want to remind you that if you do make that decision, then you best be prepared for what consequences could result in it."
"A baby." Sam said.
"An STD." Hunter added.
"Right. And while the one is embarrassing but curable in most cases, the other is something you will have to live with for the rest of your life. Because when you have a baby your whole life changes. Because now you are responsible for someone else and that's your whole focus. Not your friends, or your video games, or even school. That baby is your world now. Or at least it does if you're any kind of decent parent. Which, by the way, I know you both will be." He smiled at them.
"I don't want to be a dad for a long time!" Hunter said.
"Me neither," Sam added. "Or a mom."
"Then I need you to stop and think before you make a decision that could change your life. Hunter, I know that normally it's not the guy who says no or we should wait. However, if you are in a situation like the one I described, you need to remember what could happen. Is one night of sex worth what follows? Because if you ever get a girl pregnant, son, you will be taking responsibility for that child and the woman who has it. You'll be putting a ring on her finger and going down the aisle with her. So you had better think carefully before you take your pants off."
"Dad!" Hunter was scarlet.
"Sorry to be that blunt, but you seem to need me to be," Loki said.
"What about Sam?" Hunter fired back. "What if she gets pregnant?"
"Hey! I don't plan on doing it unless I'm married. Or at least right before the wedding," his sister snapped. "My name's not Lola Lightskirt."
Loki's eyebrows went up. "Lola Lightskirt?" he started snickering. "That's a new one."
Sam rolled her eyes. "It's an IM thing."
"Okay, so let's say that you did happen to get pregnant," Loki said. "The same rules would apply to you. I'm assuming based on your personal background you would keep the baby and not want to give it up for adoption. If you had the baby with the man you intend to marry that wouldn't even be a question. But what if that wasn't the case?"
"I'd still keep the baby," Sam said. "It's not the baby's fault this happened. And I would talk with the dad and make sure he understood that. So if he decided to ditch me and the kid, he signed off all his rights."
"Dad would kill him first." Hunter asserted.
"While I would want to beat his head into a wall, I would refrain from doing so," Loki sighed. "Because that wouldn't help anything if I went to jail."
"Uncle Thor wouldn't," Hunter predicted.
"You are probably right," Loki agreed. "But let's not discuss that now. Sam, if you ever do end up with an unplanned pregnancy, I want you to know that you can always come home to me. I won't throw you or my grandchild out of my house."
"But you'll flip out," Sam predicted.
"Yes, for a bit. But that doesn't mean I won't help you in any way I can. Yes, I'll be disappointed, but I won't hold it against you or against the baby. I swear that. I will still love you and the baby. And the same goes for you, Hunter."
"Dad, what if the girl doesn't want to get married? Then what?" Hunter asked.
"Then you offer to help take care of the baby and send money and at least try and be a part of the baby's life. And if she doesn't want that, well, there's really nothing you can do about it. Unless you try to get custody of the baby, which I would only recommend doing if you think she might give the baby up."
"But none of that is going to happen," Sam asserted. "Because I'm going to stay a virgin and Hunter's going to keep his pants zipped or ask Uncle Tony for a Trojan and make sure his girlfriend's taking birth control."
"Or wait till I'm married or absolutely going to be," her brother added. "Because I really don't want to elope to Vegas and have Elvis marry us."
Loki laughed. "And here's my final piece of advice. Wait until you find someone you love. Because doing it when you don't really love someone isn't anything like doing it with someone who is your true love. It should be meaningful and beautiful and not just something you did because everyone else is doing it or you got drunk one night. Or because you married the wrong woman and now you're stuck with it." Like you and Boda, Loki.
"We'll remember," Sam assured him.
'Now can we go? Please?" Hunter begged.
"What, you don't want to see another banana demonstration?" Loki teased.
"NO!" they chorused.
"I'm never gonna be able to eat another banana," Sam groaned.
They practically ran out of the study. Loki watched them go then burst out laughing. You did good, Laufeyson. And you won't have to have this talk again until Belle is fifteen, thank the Norns! Maybe next time I will borrow Bruce's model.
He took the banana downstairs and put it back in the fruit bowl on the table just as the doorbell rang. Thor, Frigga, and Odin had finally arrived.
"Uncle Thor, Bestefar and Bestemor are here!" Odin barked as he ran around in circles in front of the door and Loki laughed.
"Calm down and move away from the door," Loki said and Odin sat next to his feet. Loki opened the door when he looked at Thor, Odin and Frigga and smiled. Thor had a keg of mead over his right shoulder and was wearing a cotton shirt, jeans and white sneakers. Loki noticed Thor wasn't wearing any socks, which was a fashion trend for men now, but what surprised him was Thor's short hair. "Uh..."
"It is a long story," Thor said as he walked by him and Loki thought he caught the scent of something rotten."
"It appears there was a small accident at the Tower," Frigga whispered as she gave Loki a hug and Loki nodded.
"It is good to see you, Son," Odin said then leaned down to pat the dog's head. "You as well, Little One."
They went into the house as Loki followed Thor outside and Thor placed the mead on the table.
"A small accident?" Loki teased and Thor sighed.
"I had gone into Bruce's lab when one of his experiments exploded," Thor said with a sigh. "We were covered with this sticky, smelly goo and the only way to get the goo off was to cut our hair. It could be worse. Bruce is totally bald."
Loki took a deep breath when he doubled over from laughing and Thor rolled his eyes.
"Do you know what a bald Hulk looks like?"
"No," Loki said, coughing while laughing. Thor removed his phone when he showed Loki the photos Tony took and Loki felt like he would pee himself from laughing.
"Well, brother, it could be worse. You could have a Mohawk and in rainbow colors!" Loki giggled.
"Loki, enough teasing your brother!" Frigga said in a stern tone and walked to them. "I am just glad neither of them were injured or burned."
"Thank you, Mother," Thor said.
"I do apologize, Brother," Loki said and Thor lightly shoved him. "I do admit I like the new look."
"Natasha seems to like it as well."
"Maybe you should think about getting a trim," Frigga said as she moved her fingers through Loki's hair and his eyes widened.
"No, Mother. I like my hair long."
"I'm joking," she said and Loki smiled.
"Come and have something to drink. It's very hot out." He indicates the coolers with the drinks.
Frigga chose a cold can of lemonade and sits in the shade to drink it. The kids lead Odin to one of the Chairs of Honor and have him sit in it.
"Happy Father's Day!" they sang.
"Dad made you dinner," said Belle.
"And Max and I made you this!" Aleta handed him a box wrapped in superhero paper.
"For me?" Odin asked. He shook the box and Aleta and Max giggled.
"Open it! Open it!"
Odin unwrapped the box and took out a green and blue dyed baseball cap. On the front in glittering gold letters is the logo KING OF GRANDPAS with a golden crown underneath it.
"Well, will you look at that!" he exclaimed, and then put it on. "I like this better than my real crown. Thank you, Aleta and Max!"
He hugged his two smallest grandchildren.
"Here, Bestefar!" Aleta said as she placed the wrapped gift on Odin's lap and he looked at the bright wrapping paper.
"It's from Hunter, Sam, Vince, Belle, Nate, Serena, and Lucy!" Max said. Odin opened the wrapping paper when he opened the lid of the box and removed the top of the box. He looked at the white t-shirt with a photo of the kids printed on the front and MY GRANDCHILDREN ARE MY GREATEST TREASURE was under the picture. Odin looked at Loki as Loki pointed to the t-shirt he was wearing and Odin stood up. He removed his tunic then he placed the t-shirt on and the kids beamed at him.
"Thank you, children," Odin said.
"You like it?" Lucy asked.
"I love it," he said then sat down.
"I cannot wait to see you wear that during a council meeting!" Frigga whispered and Odin laughed.
"Loki, can you make the mead cold?" Thor asked. "It's so hot out here I want it cold."
Loki made frost encase the mead keg and make it icy cold. "Try it now, Thor."
Thor tapped the keg and poured some in a stein Loki gave him. The mead was cold as snowmelt.
"Aaah! This tastes wonderful!" Thor declared, smiling. Loki handed him another stein. Thor blinked. "For you?" He knew Loki didn't drink all that much.
"No, for Father."
Thor filled the second stein up and brought it over to Odin. "Here, Father. Loki made it cold."
Odin took a sip. "Oh that is good!"
The kids chatted with their grandparents, telling them about their camping trip.
Odin and Frigga laughed at the stories of the car ride, the elk hiding the road to the campground, and were impressed that Loki saved the bear and her cubs and made a friend of the Bear King. They also praised him for saving Thor from drowning on the canoe ride.
Frigga said, "I would like to try those S'mores, Loki."
"I would too," Odin agreed.
"We can make some for dessert," Loki said. "I can do them over the grill."
"Dad took us horseback riding, Bestefar," Serena said. "So we could ride horses like you do in Asgard."
"But Uncle Thor's horse ran away with him!" reported Max.
"Oh, Thor!" Odin chuckled. "Not again!"
Thor gave his father a rueful look. "Yes, again."
"What do you mean, again?" Vince wanted to know.
"He had a horse do that to him when he was boy too," Odin snickered. "It was a stubborn black pony named Ace. And he ran right back into his tall and refused to come out."
"What did you do?" asked Serena.
"I asked Loki to talk to him," Thor replied. "It turned out that Ace didn't like to see the trees shadows. But when Loki told him they were nothing to fear, he allowed me to ride him outside."
"Okay, let's eat," Loki said, and removed all the foil from the food on the table. Then he sat down in the other Chair of Honor, and his kids served him and Odin first from all the food on the platters.
They served Frigga next, then Thor, and then they all served themselves. Everyone drank a toast to their fathers, and then they all devoured the delicious meal. They ate until they were full, and Odin declared this was the best meal he had eaten since Easter. Frigga agreed. Thor seconded it, even as he ate the last fillet mignon steak off his plate.
The kids then told Loki to stay in his chair while they cleaned up and put the leftovers away. So Loki rested and spoke with Odin about the trip they planned to Asgard while the kids cleaned up and then brought out the cake and the apple crisp.
Sam made coffee and Hunter brought out the fixings for the S'mores.
Loki rose to his feet and said, "I need to go and make these for you," and he went by the grill and took two long metal skewers from underneath it. He wiped them on a clean towel, then put together two S'Mores and turned the grill on. He then toasted them over the flames until the marshmallows were melted.
"Coffee," he mouthed to Sam, who brought out the carafe and placed it on the table along with the cream and sweeteners.
Loki carried the two S'Mores over to Odin and Frigga. "Here you go," he said and handed them each a skewer. "Just watch you don't burn your mouth. They're hot."
Odin blew on his before he bit into it. He licked the chocolate and marshmallow off his lips and said, "Loki, these are the best things I have ever tasted!" He glanced slyly at his wife. "You'd better hurry and eat that, dear. Or I am going to steal it from you!"
Frigga pulled her S'More away from him. "Get away, Odin! This one is mine!" She bit into it, getting marshmallow all over her face.
The children giggled.
"Mmmm!" Frigga sighed in bliss. "Loki, are there more?"
Her son laughed. "I can make you more."
"Make me one too, Loki," Thor asked.
"One?" Loki raised an eyebrow. "You ate five last time I made them."
He grinned and took the skewers back and added another skewer.
This time he made two S'Mores on each skewer for his parents and brother and one for himself.
The kids all ate the cake and the apple crisp with ice cream, and drank chocolate milk while the adults had coffee.
As Odin relaxed in his chair and slowly sipped his coffee, his namesake trotted up to him carrying a large bone.
Puppy Odin wagged his tail and barked. "Here is a present for you, Grandpa!"
Then he put the bone in Odin's lap and sat down, grinning his doggy grin.
Odin stared at the bone. "Loki, does he want me to throw the bone?"
Loki shook his head, his green eyes dancing with mirth. "No, Father. The bone is your gift from him. He gave me one too!"
Frigga starts laughing. "Oh my! That is the first time he's ever gotten that as a gift."
Odin looked at the shepherd, then at Loki, and he smiled. "Thank you, Little One." He went and petted the black and tan head.
Then he set the bone down on the grass and picked up his coffee cup again.
Suddenly Mischief came around the corner of the house, carrying a gray field mouse in her mouth. She jumped on Odin's lap and placed the mouse in his hand.
The poor mouse nearly died of fright, fainting in Odin's hand.
Frigga looks horrified. "Oh! A mouse!" She jumps up out of her chair. "Loki!"
Her son looks amused. "Mother, it's okay. It's not dead. I think it fainted."
"Loki, is the kitten now giving me presents?" Odin chuckled, looking at the mouse in his hand.
Mischief meowed. "Happy Papa's Day, Grandpapa!"
Loki smiled. "Yes, that is what she is doing."
"Umm . . . thank you . . .Mischief." Odin petted the kitten's head.
Mischief purred and rubbed her head against his hand. "You are welcome! They make a nice snack!"
Then she jumped off his lap and sauntered back in the house, her tail waving.
Odin gently placed the mouse under the table in the grass. A few moments later it stirred and ran off under the fence.
He looked up at Loki. "Do your pets often give you gifts? My hounds and setters will retrieve game but not like that."
Loki grinned. "Father, my cat and dog are my furchildren. And they act like it."
"I see that. You have a most unusual household, son. But it is always entertaining."
"And crazy," Thor smiled.
"Not crazy. Mischief squared," Loki corrected.
"Whatever you call it, I always enjoy coming here," Odin said and he gave his sons a bright grin. "Thank you for including me in your celebration."
"You are always welcome here, Father," Loki said sincerely. "Happy Father's Day!"
"Happy Father's Day to you too, Loki!" Odin said, and hugged his adopted son. Then he hugged Thor also. "When are you going to give me grandchildren, Thor?"
"Umm . . . well . . ." Thor coughed.
"Jane doesn't want kids," Max informed them.
"Thor!" Frigga frowned. "Perhaps you need to find another girl. You need heirs and I want some grandkids from you."
"Yes, Mother," Thor sighed. Then he added, "But for now you just enjoy Loki's."
"I shall," the queen of Asgard said, and hugged Serena and Aleta to her.
"Now, when you get to Asgard, you will have a room—maybe two rooms?—in the palace, dear, and I shall make you lots of nice dresses to wear so you will look like princesses . . ."
"I'm a princess, Bestemor! See?" Aleta showed her the fabric helmet she wore with Loki's Princess on it.
Frigga looked at her and smiled. "I see, dear. But do you know that your papa is really a prince? And that makes his daughters princesses?"
"You mean I'm a princess like Elsa?" Serena gasped.
"Or Belle from Beauty and the Beast," Aleta added.
Loki looked at them and laughed. "It looks like Mother is trying to prepare them for their visit to Asgard next week."
Odin looked quite excited. "I am looking forward to it, Loki. Although I have a feeling that Asgard will never be the same once you and your family set foot across the Bifrost."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"It is a good thing, Loki. Asgard is old and she needs change. Badly."
Loki sighed. "I know. And you believe I am the catalyst for such, Father?"
Odin nodded. "You are both the stranger at the feast and family, the commoner and the king, all things wise and whimsical, and the Trickster who turns the world upside down and makes it anew. I am no Seer, Like Astra, but this much I do know—when the Laufeysons cross the Bifrost to Asgard, the winds of change will blow."
The Trickster stared at the Wanderer. "But what change, Father?"
"As to that, only the Norns know," Odin shrugged. "But it is something needed." He clapped his tall son on the shoulder. "You are always welcome there, Loki. Not as guests, but as family."
"Thor, are you coming too?" asked Frigga.
"Yes, Mother. I would not miss it," her son laughed.
Loki peered up at the sky, which was slowly darkening to purple dusk, and the first stars of evening were twinkling in the heavens. It was then that he recalled Astra's prophecy, that his true love awaited him somewhere over the Bifrost, and a small grin curved up his mouth.
By the Nine and all things magical, bring on the next adventure!
A/N: And so ends the first story in the Getting Away With Mischief series! I hope you all enjoyed this tale!
Look for the sequel called Somewhere Over Bifrost -where the Laufeysons go to Asgard-and nothing will be the same-coming soon! With lots more, mischief, magic, mayhem, and romance!
Thanks to everyone who has read and followed this story-and please favorite it and follow me to get alerts when the new story has been posted!