World's Deadliest Assassin @pyrohelixdrago1
Chapter 7


Naruto looked at his brother sadly as he mourned and cried slightly from the loss of his possible father and was blaming himself as he left the man to go have an orgy, he had collected Jacov's corpse and reluctantly gave it to Kreiger cause if anyone who experimented on radiation as much as he did would know certain tricks about experimenting with it or finding certain things about certain specimens 'at least that's what I assume happens with the pig' he thought to himself as Krieger did a lot of things to that pig

Naruto was brought out of his thoughts as his phone rang

"Hello boy" a familiar voice said over the line

"Mannfred" Naruto said as he cursed under his breath

"Time to settle this boy" Mannfred said over the line

(1 hour later)

"I honestly didn't expect you to show up considering your weapons are useless" Mannfred said confidently talking out a gun

Naruto smirked as he raised a shotgun with explosive ammo

"Oh a gun I'm so scarred" Mannfred said as he laughed and was then shot in the chest and actually felt the shot

"Don't worry I only brought 4 shells" Naruto said as he took out some glass vials

"What is that" Mannfred said as he glared at Naruto

Naruto smirked and threw it at Mannfred's chest

"Ahhhh what is this" Mannfred said as he screamed in pain

"Hydrochloric acid" Naruto said as he picked some up from Krieger

Mannfred screamed in pain as his chest was literally melting

'I'll bring this to Krieger see if the Russians did a better job or not' Naruto thought to himself picking up the robots body

(few weeks later)

"What can you tell me about this guy Slater I need info" Naruto said as he and the others were driving to the shuttles location and had called Slater immediately

"Believe it or not he's clean" Slater said to him as he pulled up the man's file

"That's what worries me for all I know this dickhead is the mutineer he's to scared and worried" Naruto said to himself "look up his personal life anything out of the ordinary hell" he said to him

"Hmmm looks like this guy is addicted to the apocalypse and other things relating to it" Slater said seeing many disaster type situations the man followed

"The apocalypse" Naruto said raising an eyebrow

"Yeah to each their own I suppose anyway I gotta go" Slater said hanging up

'I'll need to be careful' Naruto thought to himself

(next day)

"Here" Naruto said handing Lana some medicine for her nausea and motion sickness

"Thanks sorry about….all that" Lana said as she literally puked her guts out

"Maybe you should have something a little less heavy like crackers or something before the launch" Naruto said not wanting to deal with all of that again

"Sounds like a plan" Ray said as he came out the shower with Cyril

"Again sorry" Lana said as she felt bad enough both literally and figuratively

(next day)

"Seriously mom you're really going the mile or hundred mile for sex" Naruto said as he saw her getting into a space suit

"Oh please" Malory said in a sarcastic tone

Naruto sighed and walked away and went to do some looking around and soon saw the research and development area 'space guns seriously' he thought taking out a flash drive copying the schematics and sent them to Krieger 'a few prototypes are here' he thought looking around and soon found a pistol like blaster '25 shots not bad' he thought as he learned that the blasters had a limit of shots but could be 'reloaded' as it ran on a battery '100 shots in total' he thought as he also saw the next model blastor had about 200 in total

(1 hour later)

"You prepared" Naruto asked as Pam and Cheryl snuck aboard and he found them quickly and gave them some weapons as he expected a shit show

(few minutes later)

"How did you get aboard" Tony said to the girls

"We were board" Pam said as she and Cheryl shrugged

Naruto sent Malory a look as he informed her ahead of time for their stowaways, Tony soon let the issue go and debriefed them on the weaponry everything going smoothly till his brother half cocked and half drunk shot some of their friends

(few minutes later)

"Feeling better" Naruto asked Lana wondering if the drugs helped

"Yeah thanks" Lana said as she kissed him

"You enjoyed my brothers mess up a little to much" Naruto said as he saw her smile when Cyril was in pain

"What can I say I love seeing people I hate suffer" Lana said with a smirk as she smiled even more hearing Sterling bitch from the hold

(few minutes later)

Naruto was currently looking over the list of agents in the station 'a little over 60 ain't bad but there will be little surprise and the playing field is even except they know the station better putting us at a disadvantage' he thought as one could read a map easily but compared to a person that lived in a place it and knew the are better there was no competition on who knew better 'I'll set my blasters to stun save myself the trouble' he thought as he was taking 2 blastors

(few minutes later)

'They're mobilizing' Naruto thought looking through the exterior camera "time to go to work" he said as he stood in front of everyone

"Retake the ship" Tony said charging as soon as the doors opened

"Suppressing fire" Cyril said to himself

"Idiots" Lana and Ray said as they could understand Cyril in all his stupidity but they expected more from Tony

"Get behind me please" Naruto said as he shoved the two out of the way and stopped before he turned the corner he pushed a create forward and multiple shots were fired at it and in that moment he knew where the shooters were and jumped and made some shots in the directions stunning 5 men

"You see that Cyril that is how you be an agent and act in combat" Lana said to him

"And be sexy ass hell" Ray said as Lana agreed immediately

"C'mon we need to hurry" Tony said loudly pushing past Naruto and was soon shot

"Seriously we're infiltrating the enemy why would you yell" Naruto asked him incredulously as he immediately shot the man '6 in total' he thought keeping track

"You know watching him work is both sexy and entertaining and inspiring" Ray said to Lana

"You don't have to tell me" Lana said as watching Naruto work was amazing

Naruto signaled them to keep following and soon approached another corner he took out a mirror he had and saw 12 men "Lana Ray back me up when I give you the signal" he said whispering to them

"Cyril be useful" Ray said giving him Tony as he and Lana got locked and loaded

Naruto rushed and shot 4 men and got behind a few creates using them for cover and soon two men approached him and Lana and Ray shot them and Lana was able to get another man leaving 3 in the hall

"Dukes" Ray said as he got clipped having a small gash but powered through as they shot the remaining 3 in the hall

"I swear we don't have time for this" Naruto said as he went to Cyril and ripped off a large chunk of cloth

"Hey" Cyril said as he whined as Naruto then slapped him

"Shut up" Naruto said as he then took out a flask and poured the contents on the fabric and ripped it in half tying it around Ray's arm where the gash was then treated Tony getting a wince "man up" he said to the man

"12 more guys" Lana said as she looked ahead and saw them

"Ok" Naruto said as he handed Ray his gun and gave Tony his "together" he said to Lana and Ray

"Suppressing fire" Cyril said as he rushed in and shot out and smiled as he was shooting

"Fuck he actually made it" Naruto said a little amazed seeing all the men stunned

"That panel over there" Tony said to him

'Hope everything goes to plan' Naruto thought to himself

(few minutes later)

"Welcome to...the Danger Zone" Tony said as Kellog killed someone and the men who took their guns aimed them at them

"Can I ask why you needed me and Lana" Naruto asked Tony

"How'd you know we needed you both" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow


"Ok Krieger before I kill you for draining my brother tell me how you got here" Naruto asked wondering how the man entered this place

"Easy I told security I was a friend of Mr Drake" Krieger said to him

"You know him" Naruto asked curiously as Krieger rarely lied and wasn't so good at it when he did and usually ran away

"Yeah he bought your and Lana's medical records off me" Krieger said as he informed Naruto of their prior meeting

(flashback end)

"That idiot sold our medical records" Ray said as he knew after he and the others got cybernetic enhancements Krieger had to have them to know what he was working with but knowing he had sold Naruto's and Lana's felt like a huge violation and wondered if he did the same to the rest of them

"Impressive Mr Archer but there is little you can do now" Tony said as his men aimed their guns

"Yeah well I say screw that" Sterling said as made an appearance with Pam both holding two blastors

"Men kill him" Tony said as he had enough of the man

The men that had blastors pulled the trigger and the blasters exploded

"What" Kellog said as his blaster wasn't firing anything

"Surprise" Naruto said to them as he, Lana, and Ray took out their pistol blasters and he and the others each took out 6 people

"How" Tony asked as he struggled

"When I treated you I emptied your ammo not counting a single shot didn't think you'd be able to kill someone that's on me and for the guns exploding I showed Lana and Ray how to sabotage the gun and told them before if they had to hand it over to sabotage the guns" Naruto said to him "I also told them to carry these prototypes at all times and I brought the girls here to provide backup and asked Sterling to stay behind till I gave him the all clear or if he saw shit hit the fan" he said as his brother smiled proudly for the ass kicking he was able to deliver

"So what now" Lana said as all the men were stunned

"Well there are still a few rebels these morons wanted to have a sex cult on Mars yet they only had one woman on the station fucking morons" Naruto said as he picked up on some things quickly

"Ew" the others said in disgust

"Hey rebels the cult fuckers are stunned and in the comm center they're all yours we're taking off" Naruto said over the comms "Krieger is gonna lose his shit when I give him these space bot schematics and adding it to that cyborg in his lab" he said with a smirk

"No" Tony said as he charged Naruto only for Lana to shoot him

"Ok lets go home" Naruto said uncaringly before the station shook "Kellogg aka commander asshole the fuck was that" he said aiming the pistol at him

"Docking" Kellogg said as he was then shot by Cyril

"Sorry" Cyril said as he panicked as his finger slipped

"Archer" a familiar voice to all of them said

"Barry" Sterling said in anger "Naruto where is spacebot" he asked him seriously

(few minutes later)

"I'd like you all to know this is insane" Malerie said as they got on the ship

"No shit" Naruto said as he had Cyril in the pilot seat "I'll be back" he said as he went into the station

"Where's he going" Ray said as he looked at the cameras

(with Sterling)

"You know Archer this was fun" Barry said as he cracked his neck having some of his skin torn off

"Hey Barry wanna know something funny" Sterling said as he spit up some blood

"What is it stupid" Barry said hummoring him

"I fucked your fiance" Sterling said as he wanted to rub it in again

"Goodbye Archer" Barry said raising his hand to punch a hole in Sterling's chest only to get shot by an orb of pure power and got sent flying

"Shit this thing is strong" Naruto said holding a cannon energy blastor "Sterling" he said as he picked up his brother pulling him out of the suit "c'mon" he said as he carried him to the ship "Cyril go" he said strapping his brother in and got in the co pilot seat

As they took off Cyril for once in his life did something that gained him much respect he screwed Barry over as he destroyed the ship

(1 month later)

"I swear Naruto I'm gonna kill him" Lana said in a cast

"Join the literal glad I took care of all the injuries on scene" Naruto said with a chuckle as after they 'landed' he rushed to everyone treating them on scene as best he could

"You know there's a lot we can do while I'm immobile" Lana said suggestively


Lana was moaning lightly as Naruto began to finger her

"No panties Lana you slut" Naruto said to her as he kissed her neck

"You get no resistance from me handsome" Lana said as she rarely wore panties now a days with how sexually active she was

"Let me call your nurses" Naruto said snapping his fingers as Meiko and Keiko came in wearing short and revealing nurse outfits

"The assassins" Lana said as she knew Naruto had been training them refining their skills along with Anka and Uta

"Hello mistress we are here to care for you" Meiko said to her as they both bowed before approaching her and both took off her sweater dress and both latched onto one of her nipples sucking on it lovingly and tenderly

"You trained them well" Lana said complimenting their work

"We are here to answer your every whim mistress" Keiko said with a smile

"You are our master's wife and we are his concubines anything you desire or wish for we will do" Meiko said to her

"Good girls" Lana said as she petted their heads "I love when my sluts behave and know their place" she said as she groped their asses "Naruto how much longer do I have to wear the cast" she asked him as she began to kiss Keiko

"A few more days but you can take it off" Naruto said as Lana didn't do any physical activities so her leg should be healed

Lana smiled taking the cast off and got up and smiled as she was now able to stand "Meiko you are with me" she said as she gave Keiko to Naruto

"No" Naruto said grabbing Lana's hand before she went over to Meiko "I'm gonna fuck you Lana I've waited a month I'm gonna fuck you now girls" he said as the girls moved quickly and held Lana in place "I think you need to be brought down a peg Lana you know Meiko and Keiko wanted to be lowest on the harem they want to serve trust me they get off on it but they serve me ultimately" he said as both women smiled and winked at him "you're mine tonight" he said to her

"Am I not any other night" Lana said receiving slaps from the twins on her asscheeks

"You will respect our master" Meiko said to her

"And let him fuck you" Keiko said as she was serious

"Listen girls I love the devotion but I am still your mistress" Lana said to them

"Not tonight" Naruto said raising her up and dominated her mouth with a kiss

Lana moaned as he dominated her and moaned louder as Meiko and Keiko bound her hands and feet in leather wrist cuffs and put a ring gag on her mouth

"Not sit there and watch" Naruto said as both women gave him a titjob licking his dick

Lana moaned in frustration as she watched them service her husband 'I should've kept my mouth shut' she thought as her pussy moistened from desire

"Master please shower us in your cum" Keiko said beggingly as she became addicted to his cum

"Silence sister our master may do whatever he wishes to our bodies" Meiko said to her sister

"Get on your hands and knees" Naruto said as they did as instructed and he began to fuck Keiko's ass and finger Meiko's pussy

(2 hours later)

"Are you gonna behave now" Naruto said to Lana who nodded furiously

Lana looked at Meiko and Keiko in envy as Naruto fucked them into blissful comas

"Now are you gonna behave" Naruto said as he began to spank her ass making Lana moan as she kept eye contact her face becoming flushed as she didn't hide her moans, smirked seeing her nod "now I'm gonna remind you Lana I let you mess with the other girls I let you" he said shoving his member in her pussy never breaking eye contact

'He's always ran the harem' Lana thought as she felt herself tighten thinking everything she had done was just to maintain the harem 'all I did was manage it' she thought feeling like a fool as Naruto fucked her

Naruto moved her ring gag kissed her invading her mouth

All Lana could do was moan as Naruto had complete control over her that night


(few months later)

Naruto smiled walking his mother down the aisle as today was her day and he was happy to be there for her, he also was glad that he had drugged his brother as he had planned on ruining this day in his drunken state 'hope Linda is doing alright' he thought as Linda was watching over Sterling

(next month)

"We can sell this back to Odin or give to Krieger" Naruto said to his mother as he recovered the uranium Luke Troy had stolen

"Seriously how in the name of god is Krieger still alive with all the radiation crap he does" Malory asked him seriously "also how is your brother" she asked curiously

"Thinking about every gay fantasy he's had" Naruto said as Sterling had admitted to some gay feelings he had over the years

"I love you you know that right" Malory said as she was getting older and hadn't said much to him or his brother as she knew her time was limited

"Of course mom I love you" Naruto said as they hugged

"Now get out and if you tell anyone about this I'll have your guts for garters" Malory said with a smirk as she was being half serious

"Whatever you say" Naruto said as he left

(next week later)

"Naruto thank god can you please do my surgery" Ray asked yeeling in his sleepy state

"Sure" Naruto said before punching Krieger in the stomach "that was for not calling me were you seriously gonna do the surgery yourself" he asked as Krieger was not….a good surgeon he was more likely to kill and poison someone with an infection of some unknown origin

(few hours later)

"No" Naruto said seeing the liquid radiation syringe "Ray my brother is your roommate sorry he's dehydrated" he said to the cyborg man

"It's fine" Ray said a little weak seeing Archer cuffed to his hospital bed

(next day)

"You are afraid of robots cause of a vacuum you were gonna kill me for that" Ray asked Sterling as he listened to the man talk in his sleep

"...Shut up" Sterling said as he glared at Ray

"No, no way I'm telling everyone" Ray said as this was to good

Sterling then glared at him wishing he had his gun with him

(few days later)

"Ah when your brother goes on a bender it really is fun" Katya said as they were in Montreal playing cards

"Yep" Naruto said as he won a hand making the people nearby flip him off

"Darling how about we play for higher stakes" Katya said as she removed her panties and placed them above her chips "I think you understand the wager" she said as many people let out catcalls and wolf whistles from her bold actions

Everyone watched and saw Naruto pull out a royal flush beating Katya's decent hand

"Guess you won my money and me" Katya said with a grin

(few minutes later)


"I love you darling" Katya said with a smile as she got naked and was on his lap and soon began to bounce on his lap riding his dick

Naruto relaxed and watched her tits sway with motion

Katya could only moan as Naruto's cock never ceased to give her such great and intense pleasure 'I swear all I can ever think about is him fucking me' she thought to herself as her mind drifted

Katya remembered all the gallons of cum he made her drink and swallow stuffing her holes to the brim with it making her drink it or adding it to her food

Naruto smiled as he watched Katya climax repeatedly him never having once to pull out and when it was time for him to unleash his load he filled her to the brim in one go "next is you ass" he said giving her no time for rest

'He gives new meaning to bitch for women' Katya thought as she rode his cock feeling it destroy her ass, her mind brought her to all the positions he had her in and the places which were very risky

"I'm gonna wreck you Katya" Naruto said whispering in her ear

"Do it my love" Katya said as she knew what happened with Lana as she frequently used the twins

(next day)

'Fuck' Katya thought with a shiver of pleasure with Naruto's member still inside her, she slowly tried to get up moaning as she pulled Naruto's dick out of her, but screamed in pleasure when she was brought back down onto the bed

"Hope your ready for more fucking Katya" Naruto said with a savage smile that made Katya feel weak

'My pussy is already sore and raw' Katya thought as Naruto fucked her well and more the other day and now he was still going, she let out a massive climax soon and as Naruto pulled out and she panted and moaned when Naruto slapped his member coated in her juices across her face

"Meet me in the shower" Naruto said getting up and walked into the bathroom

Katya limped her way to the bathroom being fueled by lust the moment she made it inside she blushed as she saw the water cling to Naruto over his adonis like body, she got to her knees and rubbed Naruto's cock over her face

Naruto smiled as he watched Katya play with his dick and kiss it

Katya moaned as Naruto grabbed her head and faced fucked her

(2 hours later)

Katya moaned as she looked at the room and saw it was covered in sex stains and smelled like sex 'he's getting rougher' she thought licking her lips as Naruto was becoming more and more dominant and that thought brought her great pleasure


(30 minutes later)

"Screw this" Naruto said as he and Katya shot the driver of the oncoming car and threatened Ron to pull over

(15 minutes later)

"Ok here all your illegal money" Naruto said throwing Ron some bags of cash "also someone by the name fat Mike was giving them intel" he said as Ron was shocked "now let's go home or my mother will kill all of us" he said as they all drove

(1 hour later)

Naruto was cleaning up Ron and stealing all his crackers and jams and juices or whatever childish food item he had so he wouldn't interrupt the oprah as his mother would go ballistic if he got them kicked out

(2 hours later)

"This is bullshit" Sterling said as they were taking Mother to dinner

"C'mon this is a good day for her suck it up" Naruto said as it wouldn't kill him to spend time with his actual family

(few days later)

"Sit" Naruto said to the dog commandingly stopping it's charge at them

"How'd you do that" Lana asked as that was impressive

"Most dogs if threatened will attack but if a trained dog is given an order it will act rationally as it will understand" Naruto said as he was using hand gestures as well making it easier as dogs responded to that better

"He's so cute isn't he aren't you boy" Sterling said as he kneeled down and petted him

"Let him have his moment" Naruto said knowing what Lana was gonna do

(1 hour later)

"I swear these people know dick about strategy" Naruto said as he was on a roof above a group of men he was very glad he carried a grenade and threw it toward the clumped up men shooting it before it even hit the ground

"Go go go" Lana said as they ran to the hovercraft and took off

"Can't believe you didn't wanna rob those idiots" Sterling said to Naruto as he made it on

"Rob them of what they have old ak-47's that ain't much man" Naruto said to him

(3 days later)

"Here mom" Naruto said as he handed her a small puppy

"Oh my god" Malory said as she looked at the puppy "she looks just like Dutchess" she said with a smile as she petted the female pup

"Yeah well I'm letting Sterling keep his dog and decided why not get you one and that actually is a puppy from Dutchess' sister so it's legit" Naruto said as after the desert mission and the usual Sterling and his mother's bullshit about Dutchess he thought this'd be a good way to shut both of them up

Malory smiled as the puppy rubbed up against her adorably

(1 week later)

"Hey thanks for helping guys" Naruto said to the team as they were helping him with a project

"No problem I mean normally I wouldn't do this but your a friend so I'll suck it up" Ray said as he was on the floor with a staple gun

"Yeah I mean….I do this like…..a lot" Krieger said as he seemed to natural about doing this he even seemed to know more than Naruto

"Ow" Cyril said as he sucked on his thumb as he hit it with a staple

"Grow up" Pam and Lana said both covered in white paint

"Oh my god" Cheryl said as she looked inside and was amazed

"Here top quality" Sterling said coming in with a shit ton of booze and also a new glass bar set

"I'll call her" Naruto said as he picked up the phone "mom hurry Cheryl lit the mainframe on fire" he said as Krieger gasped at that remark

(20 minutes later)

"Naruto I expect this idiocy from your brother but this is crossing a line where are you taking me" Malory asked curiously as Naruto blindfolded her and told her he lied when she walked in through the ISIS entrance

Naruto just smirked "it's a surprise" he said as he laughed a bit

Malory sighed as she knew where they were going as she instinctively knew the route to her office

"Ok keep your eyes closed" Naruto said with a smirk as he took off her blindfold

Malory sighed as she kept her eyes closed

"Now open them" Naruto said with a smile

Malory opened her eyes and then screamed in joy seeing her office was newly refurbished with new carpet furniture and paint everything in a pure white and all her workers in Naruto's inner circle smiled at her

"He made us do it whole thing was his idea" Ray said ratting Naruto out

"Paint will be dry by tomorrow" Pam said to Malory as she took off

"Here new glasses" Sterling said as Naruto made him get like 20 glasses since he or mother were likely to break them in a fit of anger or just drunkenness

Malory actually cried and was grateful for this gift she actually smiled at everyone and thanked them

'This is how things should be' Naruto thought as they all left to the break room as Malory's new office wasn't meant for a party

AU-hi fans sorry about the lemons and this chapter being short some of these episodes were very short story wise and I couldn't stretch them and wanted to focus on Malory for a bit since her actor had passed away I promise next chapter will be standard also have started a Pat reon hoping to get support from my fans so I can keep doing this more frequently the link is on my profile just remove spaces, also RIP Jessica Walter you will be missed thank you for your contributions to comedy and most especially Archer since I'm sure everyone reading this loves it you will be missed.

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