The Smurf Menace (Redux) @capnport
Book One, Chapter Four

The next evening, the party occurred. Lanterns were strung between houses, tables set up with food, and several smurfs were playing musical instruments, so there was good music to dance to. Most smurfs had forgotten all about the naughties, and were just having fun. That is, until the naughties showed up. There were many of them, all led by Not-Papa. Surprisingly, there was a female among the naughties. This "Naughty-ette" resembled Smurfette in appearance, wearing a similar dress and shoes, and having long black hair.

"I see that you decided to join us," Papa said, as the naughties filed in.

"I can decide to do that when I want to."

"Of course," Papa replied. "Welcome!" He said as Naughtyette passed him. She said nothing, sticking her nose up in the air with a small "hmph!" and clutching onto the arm of a naughty whose hat flopped over and covered up his eyebrows. Papa Smurf watched in confusion as she walked away. "Um, well, smurfs, we have guests. Welcome them and treat them as you would members of our own village."

A smurf wearing a chef's hat and a bib that appeared to be stained with ink walked up to one of the food tables, and placed a pot full of some grayish-pinkish substance down.

"Mmm-mm!" Greedy Smurf said. "What kind of food is that?"

"It's meat," Chef Hat said. Greedy tilted his head in confusion.

"What kind of meat?"

Chef Hat grinned, displaying his sharp teeth, which made Greedy back off. "It's artificial- magically created. Haven't you always been curious about what meat tastes like? Try some."

"Um," Greedy said, already having stuffed a cupcake into his mouth, "I think I'd rather not."

"Suit yourself," Chef Hat replied.

Meanwhile, the smurflings were hanging out at the party, making the most of their time before bed.

"Nasty narwhals," Sassette said, "something's wrong here."

"No way, Sassette!" Snappy said. "It's just adults being adults!"

"No, no, I can tell." Sassette pointed to Not-Papa. "Doesn't their leader look like Pappy?" The smurflings muttered their assent, and Sassette pointed to Naughtyette, who was now on her own. "And doesn't she look just like Smurfette?"

"Smurfaroo, you're right," Nat said. They watched as Hefty came over with a drink, which he handed to her. She smiled, gently touching his arm and talking in a low, quiet voice. Flirting with him, but the smurflings didn't know that. "She sure doesn't act like Smurfette, though. Are you sure she wasn't just made the same way as you and Smurfette?"

"But, their leader looks like Pappy!" Sassette said. "And look over there, those two are basically mirror images..."

At one of the tables, Brainy was talking with Glasses, Clumsy in the background grabbing some smurfberry tarts. Brainy and Glasses shared many interests, and both had told the other that they were their leader's second in command. As the smurflings watched, Floppy Hat walked over, placing his hand on Glasses' shoulder.

"Golly, Brainy," Floppy Hat said, "Is this th' other us y'all've been talkin' 'bout? They're jus' as cute an' innocent as y'said!"

Immediately, the party fell silent, even the music coming to an unceremonious "whomp" of an end as everysmurf stared at the naughty that had been addressed by Brainy's name, and his friend who had addressed him by that name. The real Clumsy stopped in his tracks with a tart halfway to his mouth.

The silence was broken by Sassette's voice, speaking to the other smurflings- "I told you something was up!"

"Clumsy," Glasses said, gritting his sharp teeth, "What was it we were told about 'staying incognito?'"

"Don't tell... the... oh." Floppy Hat looked around, aware of all the eyes on him. "Gosh, sorry... can y'all just pretend y'didn't hear that?"

"No," Brainy said, "I'm pretty smurftain we all heard that."

"Please," Not-Papa cut in, pulling Glasses and Floppy Hat away from the table, "Ignore these two fools. They don't know what they're talking about."

An awkward silence fell over the party. After Not-Papa had gotten through with lecturing Glasses and Floppy Hat, he went to talk with Papa Smurf, and the smurflings were hustled off to bed. The band started up their music again, but nobody felt like dancing. Brainy claimed he had a headache and went to bed early, and Clumsy soon left as well out of the sheer discomfort of an alternate version of himself calling him innocent.


Here's what had actually happened- the naughties' village had been created by an enemy of the smurfs, with the hope that the naughties would fight the smurfs and they would cancel each other out. Naughties held the bad traits of the smurfs, many of their good traits warped into bad traits, and were willing to act on secret evil desires smurfs would never voice. Naughties could heal very fast, with even the most serious cuts healing up into a small bruise, but if their original died, they would as well.

Here's what Not-Papa told Papa Smurf- the naughties had been created several weeks ago when their entire village appeared as a magical clone of the smurfs' village. They meant the smurfs no harm and simply wanted to keep existing and form their own identities. Their gray skin, red eyes, and sharp teeth? Why, Not-Papa knew nothing about why they had been created that way. What about Not-Hefty's tattoo? Oh, that was just an attempt to make himself unique! These naughties were perfectly normal, don't worry! They simply wanted to form their own identities away from the originals.

Here's what Papa Smurf told the village- These naughties came from far away. It was a coincidence that those two naughties were so similar to Brainy and Clumsy. Clumsy had been one of the ones captured, so of course a naughty who knew someone so similar would tell that person, because wasn't it interesting how similar circumstances could create such similar people?

Here's what Clumsy Smurf knew- He hadn't told any of the naughties his name. Also, Not-Clumsy had said Not-Brainy had been talking about "the other us," but neither naughty had seen Brainy until the party.

No smurf believed what Papa had told them for a second. They all knew he had the best intentions for everysmurf, though, so they let it go. Clumsy shrugged it off, assuming that the cruel words he had heard in the village were jokes he just didn't understand, and Tuffy was pretty violent himself, so he expected others to be as well.

1. Book One, Chapter Two 595 0 0 2. Book Two, Chapter Two 415 0 0 3. Book One, Chapter Three 976 0 0 4. Book One, Chapter Four 1082 0 0