too much candy gonna rot your soul @livepoultryfreshkill
too much candy gonna rot your soul

It was a summer day perfectly straddling the line between hot and warm. At Veronica’s surprisingly un-Veronica-like suggestion, the gang had elected to test their ability to not vomit at Twizzlin’ Twisters, the new amusement park on the East side of Riverdale. Reggie was unable to come due to a previous engagement involving mandatory community service and illegal fireworks, so Jughead was enlisted (with the promise of greasy amusement-park food) to accompany Betty, Veronica, and Archie.

Betty was delighted to have Archie by her side, offering to win her prizes at the corny five-cent booths—even though she had to battle Veronica, who had recently gotten a distractingly stylish new short haircut, for his attention. It was weird, though. Veronica seemed to be trying to distract her more than Archie, flaunting her wealth and goading Betty to get on rides, scooching close and even reaching for her hand during especially terrifying loop-de-loops. Not that she didn’t have any competition for Archie’s attention. Jughead’s “woman-hater” kick has seemed to have gotten a second wind: he was pulling Archie away every change he got. As exhausting as the competition was, Betty was just glad to be around her pals on a day as nice as this. And, hey, who didn’t like a little extra attention, especially from your best friend?

Around noon, as they were riding high on chemically enhanced sugar and adrenaline from the TurboTwirler of Terror, the gang came across the Tunnel of Love, a mechanical two-seater boat going slowly through a dark tunnel, illuminated only by soft red and pink lights encouraging the riders to “make the most” of their trip.

Around noon, as they were riding high on chemically enhanced sugar and adrenaline from the TurboTwirler of Terror, the gang came across the Tunnel of Love, a mechanical two-seater boat going slowly through a dark tunnel, illuminated only by soft red and pink lights encouraging the riders to “make the most” of their trip.

“Betty, look, isn’t it marvy? How romantic!”

Betty blushed, as a nice and modest townie girl like Betty should. She had barely gotten any alone time with Archie, and this would be the perfect (two-seated!) setting to do so. She felt a little tingle as she imagined what he might do under the mask of darkness, what romantic action could occur. If, of course, she was the one sitting next to Archie. Betty paused; she took track and field; she knew she could win in a race, especially one involving her steady boy. Ronnie knew this, Betty thought, so why was she so excited? What tricks did she have up her sleeve?

Betty frowned. “I don’t know, Ronnie. Who will Juggie have to sit with?” She turned to him. “I don’t want to be unfair to you, Jug,” she offered sympathetically.

Jughead uncharacteristically brushed it off. “Whoever I gotta sit with, I’ll sit with. It’s not like we’ll have to kiss.”

Archie sidled up to Betty and put his freckled arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, Bets, it’ll be fun. Jughead isn’t complaining for once, let’s take advantage.” He lowered his voice. “I’d really like to be alone with you,” he whispered into her ear, making her shudder. Betty blushed harder, and looked to Veronica, who was giving a disarming smirk. I’m getting a kiss on that ride, she thought, Ronnie be damned. She conceded.

Even before the ride started, the tunnel was very dimly lit. She heard the rustle of her’s and Ronnie’s poodle skirts brushing against each other in a quick struggle for the first boat. She clambered in, and groped in the dark to see who her partner was. She felt a slim, sturdy bicep and smiled, assured that she’d found who she wanted. Just to make sure, she reached up and, sure enough, she felt Archie’s neatly cut hair as opposed to Jughead’s trademark hat. She sighed contentedly, and the ride started.

Archie hadn’t been lying about his eagerness: the second after the initial jolt that signified the boat was moving, he leaned over and kissed her square on the lips. Betty hummed happily and smiled, threading her fingers deeper through his hair. Archie’s lips were sticky and sweet, she assumed because of a sno-cone, but any speculation on that exited her mind when he started kissing and biting down her jaw and neck. He went up to kiss her mouth again, licking and nipping her bottom lip and into her mouth, making her moan softly. She’d kissed him before, of course but never like this. She felt electric.

He caressed her chest, gently but firmly cupping her breast. “Archie…” She knew she wasn’t supposed to move this fast, and she had restrained herself before, but something about this felt so addictive and powerful that she couldn’t help herself. She tugged on his hair, making small gasps as he sucked on a sensitive spot behind her ear. He bit her, and she opened her eyes in time to see a neon sign reading “Here’s where you come up for air… make it good!” Oh, she thought, I will. Betty untangled herself just enough to wrap her arms around Archie’s neck and pull in for a long, deep kiss. This time, she took the lead, biting his lips and sucking on his tongue in a way that made her feel more alive than she had ever felt. She heard a soft groan and felt light at the back of her eyelids and broke the kiss, keeping her eyes closed as to preserve the moment forever in her memory.

Eventually, panting, she cracked her eyes open, facing towards the dock. “Oh, Archie, that was just so-” she turned around, then made a noise that sounding a bit like a cat drowning.

“Wow, Betty, you sure know how to kiss,” Veronica marveled breathlessly. Her legs were spread in a debauched manner, her skirt was crumpled, and her hair was all kinds of disheveled. Betty felt her face reach higher and higher temperatures, unable to form coherent words, just approximations of “I”, “you”, “Veronica”, “Archie”, and “second base”. She felt faint.

Veronica attempted to fix her extremely smudged lipstick. “I just didn’t think it was fair, is all, only one of us getting time with Archie,” she said with a faux-innocent smile. “I probably should have clued you in,” Veronica locked eyes with Betty, “but then we wouldn’t have had as much fun, huh?”

Betty let out something that sounded like “gleep” and stood up abruptly. Her face was burning, and she could still feel the ghost of Archie’s—Ronnie’s?—lips on her neck. Turning stiffly, she scrambled off the boat, smoothing down her skirt and trying to rub the lipstick marks off her neck so viciously it stung. She very pointedly did not think about Ron’s hands on her breasts (or anywhere else) as she waited, excruciatingly, for Archie’s boat come out of the tunnel. Thoughts were running through her head at 100 miles an hour, blasting like the radio, thoughts she never even thought about thinking, and she just couldn’t handle them. This isn’t what happens to nice girls. She wrung her hands, twisting Archie’s class ring on and off.

After an impossibly long minute, Archie’s boat came to the dock. He looked as flustered and uncomfortable as she felt, but she couldn’t imagine why. Jughead looked significantly more unkempt than usual, which was a feat. His hat was even askew. He was wearing a devilish grin Betty would associate more with Reggie or Veronica... Veronica. Veronica’s hands, Veronica’s mouth, Veronica’s teeth-

“Hey, Betty, I’m not really digging this place anymore. Can we cut out?” Archie was standing stiffly and looking around nervously, tapping his foot in a very un-Archie-like manner. She didn’t think about it, she didn’t care, she wanted to get home and shower until her skin fell off.

“Yes. Yes, drive me home, please.” She glanced at Veronica, then looked away. “Now.”

Jughead cut in, straightening his hat. “Don’t be such a wet blanket, cats, the park doesn’t close for another hour, and I’m really digging this place. Really groovy,” he threw his arm over Archie’s shoulder, talking more to him than he was to anyone else.

Archie quickly pushed his arm off. “No, Jug, I’m not feeling too swell, so Betty and I are gonna cut out. You can catch a ride with Ron or something, but I really feel like I’m gonna hurl, and…” Betty didn’t hear the rest of his sentence because she was already walking as quickly as she could to Archie’s jalopy. A nice ride alone with a boy, with her boy, that’s what she wanted, and then she would go home and not think about how it felt to be touched like that. She thought it was Archie, anyway. It’s the thought that counts.

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