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Deku VS Murphy’s Law

VI. Deku VS Murphy’s Law

Perhaps going on patrol by himself wasn’t the brightest idea.

“Gah,” Izuku says, spitting and spraying blood between his teeth. The enormous -- disgusting -- body of rotting fish and seaweed pummelling him into the ground retreats after he punches it in the face. A moment after it draws back from the hit it rears its ugly rotting head again and vaults after Izuku. His leg groans in protest as he lays another kick into it’s head. “That hurt.” 

“Gah,” Izuku says, spitting and spraying blood between his teeth. The enormous -- disgusting -- body of rotting fish and seaweed pummelling him into the ground retreats after he punches it in the face. A moment after it draws back from the hit it rears its ugly rotting head again and vaults after Izuku. His leg groans in protest as he lays another kick into it’s head. “That hurt.” 

Hhguhrhgnh,” the seaweed monster replies, unaffected. Izuku isn’t quite sure what he stumbled across on the docks -- only that it was ugly and stupid and trying to eat people and therefore Izuku’s job to take care of. He doesn’t believe it is human in origin. If it is a human, somehow, it is beyond reasoning or recognition. Izuku, as the star hero, makes a point not to kill the villains he encounters unless there is truly no other option. Right now, he’s invoking the Right To Kill Clause since nothing seems to take this thing down. In fairness it is trying very hard to kill Izuku (and may succeed in doing so), and Izuku would like to stay alive. He might not make it that far, however, since Izuku hasn’t put a scratch on it. And it’s put way more than a scratch on Izuku.

Of course, this would be the one occasion his radio is broken, and there’s no other hero in the area close enough to call for backup. Every civilian on the scene fled before the fight started, which means Izuku is alone for the time being. Emergency services wouldn’t get the alert for another ten minutes or so even if a civilian called it in. If something can go wrong, it will go wrong, Izuku thinks. Tenya and Shouto will lecture him about the importance of bringing a spare radio when -- if -- he makes it home.

With his foot pulsating dull fire and on the verge of gagging, Izuku fires off another tremendous kick to the sea monster’s belly. It emits a gurgling shriek and vomits partially digested fish all over Izuku, which is spectacularly revolting. The smell alone is enough to make a person gag, and the sight is...beyond words. While he’s distracted and keeping his own bile down, he misses the next attack. The monster picks him up like a child would pick up a new toy and throws him across the dock.

Izuku’s consciousness flickers in and out for the next few minutes of the fight. His shoulder burns, and his body hurts in places he didn’t know could hurt. He feels his foot shatter after he lays a final finishing kick into the monster’s head. Panting, he heaves himself up onto one knee and presses a hand to his face; to protect himself from the smell (which has no effect). Or to keep himself from vomiting all over the side of the dock. 

He unleashes a string of swears that would shame his mother as the sea sludge beast rises again and yells “Hngnhhuurhhrrhgg!!!” It stomps over and advances on Izuku with speed it had not possessed earlier in the fight. Izuku’s hits didn’t hurt it at all. He only succeeded in pissing it off. 

At the last moment, Izuku launches himself into the air and flips over. While the monster’s back is on him, he slams it over the head with another kick at full power. He leaps away after the hit lands and clutches the side of a crate, watching in dismay as the beast inflates again like a rubber doll.

“Just die already!” Izuku yells. He has one good hit left in him, and then he’s done. The blood dripping down his forehead blinds him for a moment before he blinks it away. I’ve lived through worse, he thinks. And I’m sure I’ll live through much worse than this. With that hopeful mantra, he steadies himself and stands on two feet. He won’t lose to a brainless pile of sea waste. He will live to fight another day.

If he doesn’t die here, that is.

Hhhrbhhhrbnnhrrbhghuuhh!!!!!!!” Spitting and growling, it charges again. Izuku braces himself for another jump. The monster never reaches him, freezing in place.

“Shouto,” Izuku breathes out, and the tsunami of relief rushing through him reminds him of every injury and aching joint in his body. 

A mighty wordless cry from the other end of the dock catches his attention. Tenya blows past him and lands an impressive kick into the monster’s back, distracting it from Shouto’s second wall of ice. Within moments it is completely cased in a dazzling ice sculpture towering over the dock. 

Tenya runs to him first and lifts his good arm over his shoulders. “Izuku,” Tenya frets. “What in --?

Guuh,” Izuku says intelligently, and blacks out for a few seconds. The adrenaline from earlier recedes in an instant and wow, everything hurts. Tenya gently slaps him awake. “Yep. I’m awake. I’m good. Sorry.”

“Izuku.” Tenya repeats, concerned. “You need a hospital.”

“Probably.” Izuku agrees. “And, hey, thanks for showing up. How’d you find me?”

“Your phone.” Tenya answers, clipped. “Izuku, I told you not to go running off into these…” His voice fades out into static while Izuku practices breathing exercises through his nose to keep himself from focusing on the pain. 

Shouto retreats from the magnificent new frozen decorum in the middle of the docks and wraps his arm around Izuku’s waist on the other side. “Police are on their way. I called in Tokoyami and Shouji for backup in case.” 

“That’s good.” Izuku says. He winces at Tenya’s hand probing his ribs. “Ow. I said I’m fine.” Tenya’s expression reads as No, you’re really not, and all his energy from earlier is drained. He has no more energy to argue. He slips back into a half-sleep state for a time before the emergency crews arrive. Shouto’s shoulder is soft and warm, and Tenya is a steady and solid presence at his back. 

“Best boyfriends ever.” Izuku informs them later. “Seriously.”

“Sure.” Shouto says, rolling his eyes. He doesn’t remove his hand from Izuku’s, content to leave it on the bed between them. Tenya squeezes his other hand and promises to leave the lecture about spare radios for another time. 

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