"So what are you going to do?" Josh asked her again, pouring Maya a bowl of cereal as she sat at the breakfast bar.
It was the next morning, and Josh had been talking over with her how exactly she wanted to approach Sasha that day. It calmed Maya to have a game plan, because she knew that if she went in there, guns blazing she'd end up either screaming, crying, or both.
"I'm going to play it cool. Let her make the first move" Maya responded for the third time that morning, feeling a little like she was revising for a test.
"And if she starts to go off on you again?" Josh prompted.
" Bail because it isn't worth my time or energy" Maya replied, brushing all her hair over to one shoulder in a nervous tic. Josh nodded approvingly and then glanced at the clock on the stove.
"I gotta get going. Do you want to meet back here before we meet your friends tonight?"
Maya had nearly forgotten that Riley had planned a group dinner since most of their old gang was in town.
"Let's meet here. If you come home to find all my stuff from my room room on the floor in garbage bags, you'll know how today turned out"
"It's going to be fine. Remember what I told you"
"That i'm a bad bitch and she can't bog me down in her bullshit" Maya replied
"That is definitely not what I said" Josh said with mild exasperation.
"Yeah but you said some flowery shit about me being a strong independent women who wouldn't be brought down by the games of little girls, so basically the same"
Josh rolled his eyes playfully and kissed her cheek before wishing her luck and heading out the door.
Maya thought she'd feel more nervous as she walked into the elevator of her dorm building and punched the button for her floor. She was fairly certain that Sasha would be in their room. She had a 2 hour gap in her classes at this time, and she usually used this time to take what she called a power nap, but was really just Sasha laying in her bed under the cover scrolling through her phone.
When the elevator doors slid open, Maya stepped out onto her floor and nearly collided with Cassidy, a girl who lived a few doors down from her.
"Sorry!" Maya said quickly, leaning down to help Cassidy collect the papers that had come flying out of her binder when Maya had bumped into her.
"It's fine!" Cassidy reassured her quickly. "We've missed you at breakfast" Cassidy told her, referring to the small group of girls that Maya often sat with in the dining hall a few mornings a week. " We're lost without you around to eat our crusts" she teased, referring to the fact that all the girls in their group passed the ends of their toast down to Maya, who had always liked the dry crunch of crust best.
Looking into Cassidys wide eyes and open kind face, Maya felt a resolve harden in her stomach. She wasn't going to let Sasha bully her out of this building. There was potential for her to have a life here. She could become better friends with girls like Cassidy.
"I'll be there tomorrow. I promise" she said, and meant it. Cassidy smiled at her, pleased with her response.
"I'll see you then!"
Cassidy moved past her to the elevator and Maya continued down the hallway towards her room.
She flashed her keycard on the electronic lock on her door and took a deep breath when she heard the lock click.
Sasha glanced up when Maya came through the door, but quickly looked down again, trying to make it seem as if she hadn't noticed her.
Maya set her jaw and walked into the room, heading over to her bed and dropping her duffel bag down on it. She had her back to Sasha as she unzipped the bag, emptied her dirty clothes out of it and shoved them into the laundry hamper at the foot of her bed.
"Are you even going to speak to me?" Sasha asked quietly.
"I don't know Sash" Maya replied coolly, her back still to her roommate.
"Last time you didn't really have anything nice to say"
Maya heard Sasha sigh.
"Look," Sasha began, tossing her phone towards the end of the bed and giving Maya her full attention.
" I was being a bitch. I know I was being a bitch and i'm sorry"
Maya turned to look at Sasha, and sat down on the edge of her own bed, watching her friend carefully.
" But did you mean it? Is that really what you think of me?"
"No, I don't think that. I'm just-" Sasha broke off, biting her lip and looking away from Maya's face.
""I'm angry. I'm angry at the world and I'm angry at myself and I took it out on you and I know that that's not fair and it was a shit thing to do and I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!"
Maya looked down at her hands that she had folded in her lap. She'd thought that she'd feel better, hearing the words from Sasha, but she still felt hurt.
"Ok" she said, not looking up from her lap.
"Ok? That's all you're going to say?"
"What else do you want me to say?"
"I don't know! That you forgive me? That you're not going to move out, that things are going to be back to normal?" Sasha offered, obviously a little exasperated.
" I'm not moving out. I paid good money for this room, or my dad did anyway" Maya said in an attempt at a joke.
" and I do forgive you but I don't know if it can be the same, i've never done this before"
"Done what? Fight with a friend?"
"I mean not like this," Maya explained. A crevasse had formed between them, and Maya didn't know how to fill it. Would it ever be the same? Would she ever feel like she could confide in her the way she did before?
"Well can we try and start over?" Sasha offered " I mean if you're ready for that"
Maya sighed, things may never be the same with Sasha but that didn't mean that she couldn't at least try to make things normal between them. She knew it would be harder on her in the long run to hold onto this anger, but that didn't mean that she wouldn't guard her heart a little harder this time around.
"Ok" Maya agreed, unsure of what they should do next. Were they supposed to hug it or? Or shake a hand like this was some sort of agreement?
"Alright, so then do you want to do something tonight?" Sasha asked, extending the olive branch a little further. Maya gave her a sad smile.
"I've actually got plans" a flash of hurt crossed over Sasha's face
"But maybe tomorrow?" Maya offered.
"Tomorrow sounds great"
Here's a short little chapter, a bit of a filler, but more Joshaya is on the way :P