" I'm not going to let you play with my hair if you keep putting knots in it" Maya exclaimed as she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to undo the matte that had formed there.
She was sitting on the ground in front of Josh's couch, her attention half taken up by the action movie on the tv and the other half on her tangled hair.
"I'm sorry" Josh teased, ruffling the top of her head from where he laid on the couch. Maya swatted his hand away and resumed to run her hand over the back on her head.
"What do you feel like for dinner?" he asked, sitting up and looking through the collection of takeout menus he kept on the small side table squeezed between the couch and the window.
"I don't care" Maya replied distractedly, her mind now fixated on examining her hair for split ends.
"Are you good?" Josh asked, a little amused, a little concerned. "You're not one not to have an opinion on dinner"
"Hmm?" she replied, looking up from her hair at last.
" Are you ok?" Josh asked again. Maya shrugged.
" This whole thing with Sasha has really gotten you down huh?"
Maya shrugged again. Once she'd gotten to the apartment and exploded everything that had happened between her and her roommate, Maya hadn't wanted to talk much more about it. She'd thought that maybe if she pushed it all aside and stopped thinking about it the whole thing would go away.
"It's just all so stupid" Maya muttered, picking at the skin around her nails.
" I didn't do anything to her!" she suddenly snapped. All the anger she had been bottling up over the past few hours was coming rushing to the surface again.
" I know you didn't," Josh said soothingly, placing both his hands on her shoulders. Maya shrugged them off and got to her feet. Josh's apartment was miniscule, so Maya had to settle for pacing the three feet in front of the tv.
"I mean I know I haven't had a lot of friends. I've been kind of a one girl gal but in what world does not doing molly make me a bad friend? In what world does prioritizing my classes ahead of a rave make me a shit person? I'm doing the best I fucking can!"
Maya was close to tears. She hadn't realized just how much this was bothering her. She felt like she fell short in so many facets of her life, but the idea that she wasn't a good friend had never crossed her mind. Maybe she only knew how to be a best friend to Riley and a decent friend to Farkle.
Was there some kind of handbook she hadn't bothered to read like one of the endless history assignments that Cory used to dole out with so much glee?
"I mean what am I supposed to do? How can I go back there when I know that that's what she thinks of me?"
Josh stood up and opened his arms. Maya stepped gratefully into them.
"What should I do?" She asked into his chest, wanting someone, anyone, to tell her what she should do next. She knew that she had just asked Josh the same thing only a few hours before, but she needed to hear it again.
"Don't go back there tomorrow," Josh recommended.
"If she has any kind of soul at all, she'll wake up tomorrow feeling like shit about this whole thing, and not hearing from you will give her more time to think about it"
Maya nodded, biting the inside of her lip.
" and then go and talk to her. One on one. Make her hear what you have to say and if she's still on her same bullshit, leave. It's not worth it to stick around if that's how she's going to treat you. If you don't want to move in here. I get it. That's cool. I get that it seems fast. But you're welcome here, and I know that your dad would love to have you back home. Or, we can talk to campus housing. There is bound to be an empty stop in one of the dorms. They're used to dealing with stuff like this. It's going to be ok no matter what. Ok?"
Maya nodded into his chest again and leaned into his embrace.
"Now let's have dinner. What do you want?" She took a breath
Once the sushi had been delivered and the spread laid out on the coffee table, Josh had opened a bottle of white wine. Maya gratefully accepted the glass that Josh poured her, and let him load a plate with different rolls and pieces of sashimi before handing it back to her
"If you really wanted to make me feel better, you would put that whole glob of wasabi in your mouth" Maya teased, referring to the insane amount of green paste that had been squeezed into one of the containers. It was enough for all the fish that they ordered, but the same amount had been squeezed into each of the three boxes.
Josh took the challenge, reaching out with his chopsticks and scooping up the wasabi in its entirety and lifting it towards his mouth.
"Oh my god stop!" Maya squealed, reaching out with her napkin and grabbing the wasabi off his chopsticks before they could reach Josh's mouth.
"Your nose would fall off if you ate that" she laughed, crumpling up the napkin and tossing it on the table.
"That's love" Josh teased her back. Maya rolled her eyes.
They ate their dinner and drank their wine and watched whatever mindless thing they could find on tv. Maya's eyes suddenly felt very heavy, and it wasn't until she started to nod off and almost spilled her wine all over the couch when Josh pronounced it time for them to head to bed.
Maya poured the rest of her wine into her mouth in one big gulp rather than the appropriate sips and shuffled off to the tiny bathroom to brush her teeth. She struggled to stifle a yawn as she came into the bedroom and pulled on the pajamas she kept at Josh's place.
When she crawled into bed Josh pulled her close. She relaxed into his arms and tried to put out of her mind everything that had happened that day.
Despite the fact that Sasha had already confirmed that she was skipping class that day Maya felt nervous as she walked towards the lecture hall for the class they shared. She shouldn't feel nervous to see Sasha, Sasha should feel nervous to see her. Maya wasn't the one that had flown off the handle and attacked anyone, but still, she could feel the anxiety building in her chest.
It wasn't until she had taken her seat in the lecture hall and the class had started that Maya finally felt herself let out the breath she was holding.
She opened her laptop and began typing her notes, trying to stay engaged in what was going on in her lecture rather than letting the drama of her personal life distract her. About half way through the class an Imessage popped up on her laptop screen
Riley: Do you want to get lunch today?
Maya smiled to herself as she typed: Yes! I have so much to tell you.