Disclaimer: I don't own the show, anything related to it, or characters from the show 'The Originals' and I don't know who does but the thing is it's not me...
Finn/Kol kind of but it's mainly angst.
This chapter will feature suicidal thoughts and actions. I'm calling it (-ish) for both, I mean considering...angst for days because I don't plan on updating this fic until two or three weeks.
The story is AU-ish, it has some canon to it. The characters are likely ooc and I wrote a little plot to give the characters a bit of depth because the show is kind of slacking it right now imo, obviously.
Almost the 11th Century
The festivities are almost over with and Finn thinks it a perfect opportunity to go through with what he's wanted since he became a vampire.
There is only one problem.
He's tried everything, the evidence is all around this room, his clothes and body.
But nothing is happening because he keeps healing.
This won't deter him, he just has to keep trying a little more is all.
Kol doesn't look like he has a single care in world because he's actually considering staying here a little while longer.
Their father seems to have lost their trail a while ago but it won't be long before they meet again, of this he's certain.
In the meantime everything is relatively nice, fun and exciting even.
Elijah is chatting with some girl while Rebekah is dancing with a noble and Klaus is out and about probably plotting something because he's not anywhere near the party.
He hasn't seen Finn for a couple of days because the last time they spoke...things took a strange turn and his brother just told him to leave him alone for a while.
He obliged just because he knows nothing wrong can happen, at least not until they see and cross paths with their father again.
Some guy near the hallway offers him something but he is not paying attention because he isn't sure what's happening.
He leaves the guy talking to himself, poor guy.
This is super weak on his part, he knows this but he's already walked too far.
So, as a 'relatively' normal person he should no longer care but he takes a moment to actually look back.
The guy left but he was probably a servant so he did what he was hired to do.
But back to the point, it was mean.
And rude, something Finn would probably bitch about for a couple of minutes if he found out.
He thinks it's a bit funny but strange how his brother seems to be minutely rubbing off on his personality.
He just hopes that he's doing the same. Maybe then his brother will tell Niklaus off when he's being a dick.
Someone besides himself, Elijah and Rebekah should.
The next thing he knows he's pretty sure he bumped into a couple.
He apologizes half-heartedly because he gives no shits about them but he doesn't think being a little polite will hurt any.
There's a weird dreadful feeling creeping up in the back of his mind.
He thinks he should probably ease up on drinks a little but he doesn't really listen and grabs a tray full of cups off some servant's hands.
They don't complain because he compels them to go away.
He's done messing with strangers for the night and just wants to see what Finn is doing.
It's not like he's got anything else going on and Finn should be over himself enough by now to at least accept a couple of drinks with him.
The second he so much as approaches a couple of hallways that lead to the path to Finn's bedroom chamber he smells the stench of blood and he knows that this doesn't belong to anyone but his eldest brother.
The instant he practically breaks the heavy doors off it hinges he doesn't notice anything but Finn in a wooden bathtub.
Next sees that it's overflowing with blood and that it's all over the floor, walls and windows.
He wants to make a period joke but holds back because he finds nothing funny about this situation and he wants Finn to understand that.
"I'll be right back..move from the spot you're in, I'll make you regret the next nine hundred years of your life."
Kol returns a few minutes later with what appears to be a legion of compelled humans. There are about a hundred people here.
Ranging from normal civilians and servants to some nobles, a girl Elijah had a little fun with yesterday and Rebekah's new bae.
"Get up!" Kol grabbed his hand as he begins to half-drag and almost carry because Finn is in no real position to fight back.
"All of you get in line. You, drink up." The scent of vervain makes him want to gag as he begins to take in everything inside this room and he thinks he should beat the shit out of Finn just for scaring him.
Finn looks completely out of it as he attempts to blink and focus on the situation.
"I'm not hungry, I just want-I just..." He doesn't know how to prevent himself from stumbling forward but suddenly two girls are helping him out and all that's left in his mind is the beats of their hearts and the sound of their pulse.
"I want-" There's a undeniable hunger and he can feel his fangs against his tongue but he doesn't want to give in.
He wants to die not kill others so he can live.
"You can leave..." Before he can finish the sentence and thank the servants for their help he stops himself because Kol doesn't waist time in ripping out their lungs.
"I said feed." The veins under his eyes are showing but he's past the point of feeling anything other than rage.
"I don't want to...leave me alone. I don't want you, never did but knew for a moment that you'd suffice. You're welcome little brother."
He needs to make this as fucked up as possible, something tells him that it won't take much effort on his part but if he wants Kol to leave so that he can continue searching for a way to 'end' it without having him hovering.
He'll have to try harder.
"I ruined you just because I could, it's a shame that you bored me this early on." Finn looks completely serious about this, what he's saying but Kol knows better.
He doesn't care about them or why he feels like his heart is breaking into a million pieces.
"I can feel everything you do through our bond, you idiot. Next time you want to attempt to make an ass of yourself make sure that I don't know you better than I know how to breathe."
Kol looks at the dead girls in Finn's arms but he doesn't do anything as servants in line look about ready to die of fear.
"I think you should leave now, I don't need you around." Finn glanced at the dead girls and set them down gently on the floor.
Another pair of marks to add to people who are dead because they made the mistake of walking into his life.
"Not until you drain every human in this room."
"I won't do that."
"I think you're confused here. I wasn't asking." Kol tore off a piece of a chair and pinned Finn against a wall by his shoulders.
He digs the pieces of wood to not only hold him in place but also to hurt because he needs to know what it is like to be alive.
Finn doesn't seem to register the pain Kol knows he should have been feeling and that scares him more than anything has in a while because he knows what that implies.
"Please don't do this, I just want to die. I've tried on multiple occasions but nothing is happening because nothing is left of the white oak tree, so I need to find another way."
"I can watch as you try to destroy yourself better yet, I'll join you." Kol doesn't want to do this but he's not going to back off now.
"What? No, quit joking. This isn't funny. I don't want you to hurt-"
"I said that I would always protect you. It is not a vow or a promise, it's a fact. Now, if I need to break a little to insure that I won't mind."
Kol doesn't look away from him as he picks up one of the discarded cups and tosses his daylight ring somewhere near a pile of corpses.
The sun won't take long in coming out. He walks over to the bathtub and dips it in there. "A toast to life, death...victories and failures. A toast for me and you."
He drinks it all and Finn thinks he should feel disgusted by the sight but he doesn't and Kol drinks another cup-full because he seems to like the taste.
"Stop. Kol, I never wanted you to get hurt or be put in danger so just leave me be and pick up your ring before the sun appears."
"This is one of the first things you tried, isn't it...thank you for showing me the outline. Now I can follow in your footsteps."
"Kol put it back on. This instant." Finn looks at the makeshift stakes as if willing them to move because he can't.
"You choose the most appropriate of ways to off yourself, it's beautiful." An almost macabre feeling of serenity fills his chest as he begins to strip because he wasn't lying when saying he's going to have the full experience here.
"If you cease... I will not try to kill myself again, I'll be fine and you'll be fine. I can learn to love what I've become. Be more like Niklaus, Rebekah or Elijah."
He doesn't want to change but if Kol wants to insist on wanting him around he thinks that he should act a little more conventional.
"I've never wanted them like I want you. I just want you. Your perfect-"
Finn wants to give in but won't let up.
He forgets sometimes, Kol just seems incapable of changing his mind if he wants something but so is he. "I'm a mess."
"For fucks sake, Finn. Learn to take a compliment, I'm not all that good on dishing them out. Yet, I'll learn eventually but I won't quit until you believe me and you know I'm persistent when I want something."
"For now just meet me halfway, I'll travel the distance in my own time... just-" Finn stops himself because he knows what Kol's response will be if he says the words.
Kol walks towards him and kneels slowly as he whispered the words slowly but he knows that at this level Finn can hear them clearly.
"Stop being so guarded. Love yourself like I love you. If you want to be a mess. Or make one. Go ahead. I don't plan on stopping you but be here, with me. Be my perfect mess."
"A perfect mess...I like that..." Finn looks at him as he speaks and Kol kisses him as if this will be the last time they'll see each other.
Had his brother been human...and attempted this...
He doesn't want to think about that and he can't stop the break down for a moment because this doesn't feel right.
It doesn't belong because it's doubt and fear mixed up with hopelessness.
At this point he doesn't know if he's the one feeling this or it's Finn.
"I knew you would but I need you to rest for a moment." Kol ruffles his hair and puts on a fake smile because it feels right for a moment.
He runs his hand through Finn's chest, doesn't stop until he can feel his heart then cuts through that too.
He walks into the one person he had actually wished to have seen yesterday but here Niklaus stands a couple of hours too late.
With a couple of scrolls and a quill pen thing.
"Where are you off to?" Klaus noticed the blood, a blind person could have noticed it as well and without any real effort.
This is something.
He just doesn't know if that is supposed to be a good thing.
"Finn is having a little trouble adjusting...is all. Nothing I can not handle." Kol looks away and Klaus looks bored as he spoke as if he's not feeling bad about what he says next.
"Finn is a pathetic excuse for vampire just like he was of a human. If he wants 'out' so badly just let him go, no one will spare a moment to miss him-"
Before Klaus can finish speaking Kol decides that he can't listen to more of this shit so he doesn't let Klaus finish and just proceeds to beats the shit out of him because this isn't the boy he grew up with, admired or loves.
This is a monster.
Something he never wants to be.
He just realizes he's said all of this out loud when Klaus finally punched him back then apologizes for it and he can see a glimpse of what they used to be in that instant.
Rebekah had been walking around the 'palace' halls. She wasn't really tired and is looking around for one of her brothers.
She isn't sure why she decides to look for Kol but he's probably hanging out with Finn.
"What is this?" Rebekah looks at the mess and at Finn with worry. Her first thought is to let him go and find Kol or call Elijah and Nik but there's a note on the bed.
It's instantly recognisable that it's in Kol's words and handwriting. An evident warning if she's ever seen one.
She doesn't know what the extant of the damage is here because someone obviously cleaned up a lot but she's worried because this is sure to leave scars.
Kol noticed, Rebekah walking out of the room but he doesn't stop her from leaving.
He's burned most of the bodies near a village south of here.
If he's lucky the village will burn with them and the neighboring people will call it a freak accident or blame raiders.
Finn is still asleep and Kol is keeping himself busy as he drinks what looks like a couple of liters of his blood.
It can't be disposed of in a senseless fashion. He knows that if he does there will be new vampires and Finn will never forgive himself.
The only logical conclusion he's come to is to drink it.
It's the best he's ever tried but at this point he thinks he'll be past the point of merely hooked because he's already addicted and nothing will compare.
He thinks he should put his daylight ring back on because he has nothing to prove if Finn is asleep and he's about to do just that but the next thing he knows he's laying paralyzed on the floor.
He doesn't know why he cannot move but he's not quite sure if his mind is playing tricks on him because he can suddenly some children.
A little girl and a younger looking boy, both probably no older than eight but that's not what has him weirded out.
He thinks he can see his father as if staring through a looking glass. Like a vision or mirage.
He thinks this is a memory or something similar because the next thing he sees is the little girl holding the boy's hand and he knows that boy because he's a couple of feet away, bleeding and on a suicidal mission to just die.
They look so real but he can't feel them as both kids tell his father that they love him and he smiles, repeats the words then kisses their foreheads.
They run off as snow falls all around them and his mother appears with a playfully stern gaze. She tells them to go home because nightfall is approaching.
But that can't be real.
It must be a joke his mind is playing on him because his father has never done that, smiled.
At least not towards him or looked that full of love.
He didn't even look that happy when Henrik was born.
Kol doesn't feel anything as his skin starts to bubble up because it's starting to burn.
By this point in time Finn awake and aware of his surroundings.
Calling for him, screaming his name as he attempts to break free and he doesn't know what is happening.
He stops when his eyes are beginning to drop blood and he seems to be focusing solely on a position on the wall in front of him.
Something is wrong here but he doesn't move because the memory is starting to fade and the next thing he sees is Klaus standing in the middle of the doorway.
"I see. So, I haven't missed much." Klaus takes a look around even though he hasn't moved an inch from the doorway.
"Help...him..I can't." Kol doesn't know what happened to make him unable to move, to keep him restrained as if held captive by magic or an invisible barrier but it doesn't feel as strange as it should.
He thinks it's a shameful and extremely sucky situation that is his life right now.
He's half dressed, burning a slow burn and paralyzed on a puddle of his brother's bloody mess while his half brother is just staring at the scene as if this is a basic Saturday morning.
"Why would I do such a thing?" Klaus walks towards Finn as he speaks but the words are clearly directed at Kol and he actually goes as far as to pause mid-stride.
Almost giving off the impression of someone actually curious for an explanation worthy of his efforts.
"I've never wanted anything from you but we're family, for better or worse. We're stuck together so we might as well be f-"
Before Kol could stop talking Klaus took the wooden makeshift stakes out of his brother's shoulders and Finn proceeded to stab him in the neck and left hand with them.
"Ouch, why would you do that? Fuck this, I'm not helping you again." Klaus finds this unnecessarily taxing on his personal life and he's just done.
"Dude. Weak..." Kol looks surprised by this point but it's a quickly shifting emotion because Finn vamps him over to a wall and shields him from the sun.
His eyes are still bleeding and he looks disoriented.
"I'm getting a little scared, so come back to me and laugh about it or something...okay. Cool, so c'mon. You've got this..."
Finn glanced at him and Kol feels it again.
This all consuming, irksome and irrational fear. He's felt it for the second time today but it is different from the first bout.
Kol doesn't want to see this but he doesn't look away from him.
He falters mentally when Finn touches his shoulder briefly and grabs his hand then does something he's never expected and a lot of weird stuff has been going on around them.
"Why are you doing this? I don't want it. So put it back on, right now." Kol stares at the daylight ring on his finger.
This act, he cannot begin to describe.
He thinks he should take a moment to think about this but he doesn't because Finn is walking away.
Out the door as if a freakin zombie out for brains and Klaus is still bleeding on the floor.
He looks like he's ready to take a couple hundred people out.
"Get up. Get up and go find him before he can succeed in hurting himself worse."
"I'm not you damn lapdog. I don't know what he did but I can't seem to heal right at the moment. Also get one thing clear, I'm doing this because you said I was being a dick and here he goes doing this...okay..."
Klaus bites into his own arm as if this can actually kick-starthis healing. He's not sure if it's going to work but at this point he's going to try anything.
"Last time I checked I wasn't your errands-boy either. Quit commanding me to do shit." Nothing is happening so he mentally says this is the last time he tries being nice and touches the floor.
It's covered up mostly by his brother's blood.
Before it touches his lips he can't help but wonder what Elijah would think then a wicked sense of mirth fills his thoughts because honestly he's put worse things in his mouth.
The second he tastes it he feels dumbfounded by his discovery but he doesn't pay it much mind.
"I'll find him, just give me a minute."
Kol wants to roll his eyes because seriously. Even if he tried a little harder, it's not like he can go anywhere.
Klaus takes a little more blood and is out of the room in a couple of seconds.
"Where do you think you are going, brother? Your bedroom is that way. Sleep a little. Wake up refreshed and sane in the morning, preferably a couple of days from now..."
Klaus bites the inside of his cheek after he speaks.
He's knows that he must be in pain but his brother doesn't even seem all that lucid at the moment and that's troublesome in the most worrying of ways.
"I need to go..."
"Okay. I'll play along, where are you heading to exactly?"
"Home" Finn looks at him for a second then begins to look like he wants to walk away but Klaus mentally says 'nope' and takes off his daylight ring.
This is something new and it's weird.
He's not going to try it again but Kol and Finn better remember this in his hour of need if one ever comes.
After what feels like a couple of minutes but is probably seconds Finn snaps out of it and is looking at him like 'wtf is going on and where are my shoes?'
Klaus won't answer though, he's busy burning alive while Finn is taking his sweet ass time just pondering life and his woes.
"Bite me and we'll never speak of this again."
"Agreed" Finn looks at him for a second then moves to bite his arm but it's looking a little gross at the moment so Klaus tilts his head to the side a little.
For a moment it feels stranger than it sounds but as both try and for the most part kind of fail to relax, they get through it.
Both are mindful of the fact that this is taking too long for anyone's liking so Finn backed up faster than necessary.
He'll live, which is good.
For the most part and now. However, Klaus is a little worried about his brother and what the future holds now.
But he waisted no time as he leaves in search of Kol and Klaus isn't far behind.
By the time they arrive back Kol looks better than he had and Klaus finds his ring somewhere near the corner.
"Give it back, that's mine." Kol looks at him as he speaks and Klaus finds that amusing.
There's something oddly desperate about the way he said this, his curiosity is there now.
'No, I quite like it. I'll keep it now, just keep Finn's. He has mine, it's only fair."
"What? No. Nik just hand it back and go away or something."
"That's the thanks I get for helping you both out of the clusterfuck you call today? Please. I'm keeping this as payment." Klaus knows that this is probably fucked up and wrong but he's bored.
Plus it's not healthy to get attached to inanimate objects, even if he's certain that most of his siblings have not removed said rings since their creations.
"It's the only thing I have left. It helps remind me of humanity, of all the things good and pure. Of Henrik." Klaus almost drops the ring as if it's burned into him hotter than the sun's heat.
Kol knows it's a low-blow but Ayana interlaced Finn's magic in the ring and stone herself, he can't afford thus bear to lose or misplace it until his brother's magic can be safely removed.
"I understand...I'm sorry. Here." He's not surprised by the fact that Nik actually walks up to him and hands it over carefully, as if it's the most precious thing that he's held in his life.
Finn tosses him his ring back and Kol does the same.
Once everyone has what is respectfully theirs Klaus excuses himself without really waiting for anyone to acknowledge his words or lack of presence but both of his brother's noticed.
Elijah backs up slowly as Kol opens his eyes to the day's bright light thanks to the sun as it rests in the sky.
"What do you think you were doing." Kol's knows what Elijah did but no one gave him permission to take a peek into his dreams or nightmares.
"This is what happened that day? Why wasn't I informed of this?!" Nothing will stop him from confronting Klaus, Finn, Rebekah or Kol.
But he should take a moment to breathe because all he wants to do right now is fulfill Finn's wish and grab the white oak stake but he's human now so that much effort won't be necessary.
"What exactly, gave you the impression that you could touch me?"
Kol doesn't look like he appreciates the fact that Elijah saw this much of his thoughts even if it shouldn't really have to mean much when compared to his lifespan of memories but this is different.
Before Elijah has a chance to speak Kol pulls him forward with the help of his borrowed vessel's magic.
One instant he's standing perfectly fine and the next he's seemingly levitating in the air. Being held up by a suffocating, burning and incredible force that he can't break free from.
This is one of those rare moments when he's been more pissed off then he'd normally be but he won't forgive Elijah.
Not for this.
This is a line he's never wanted to cross with anyone but Finn because it's personal and should be of no concern to no-one else.
Kol snapped his brother's neck and put his shoes on as Elijah's body landed harshly on top of his bed.
He feels his skin crawl when he noticed Klaus in the doorway, the sense of deja vu is real right now but neither says anything and both just walk downstairs.
He won't talk about it and Klaus doesn't look like he cares for an explanation.