Evil Phineas Trilogy: Book 1: Dark Rising @thecartoonfanatic01
A Stunning Defeat So Far

A/N: Sorry about the long delay, everyone. If you've been following my profile, you'll realize that I've been busy with my other fics. I have also been trying to find a way to edit the latest chapter of the original "Evil Phineas" so it could adhere to the site's Content Guidelines. I was hoping I would update the original version first before getting back to this, but my progress in editing the chapter for the original has stalled. So, I've decided to just get this out of the way, for the sake of letting all of you know that I'm still alive and still hard at work at this.

Alright, I think I've spoken for too long! On with the chapter. ENJOY!

P.S.: Due to the ever-worsening situation regarding the coronavirus outbreak, I'm going to have to remind you all about the basic steps you should take if you want to stay healthy, courtesy of my university's reminder emails:

-Wash hands often with soap and water for 20-30 seconds at a time, and/or use hand sanitizer
-Avoid close contact with people who are sick
-Keep your hands away from nose, eyes, and mouth (I can't imagine how difficult this part is probably going to be)
-Eat well, get adequate rest, and exercise regularly
-Get a flu shot if you haven't already and are able to

And if you ARE sick (I hope you get better if you are), please be a good sport and save other folks the trouble of getting sick. You can do this by:

-Covering your mouth and nose with your sleeve, elbow, or a tissue whenever you sneeze or cough
-Not sharing food and drinks with others
-Avoiding touching your mouth, nose, and eyes (Again, I understand this is probably going to be difficult)
-Avoiding close contact with others
-Cleaning and disinfecting surfaces and objects
-Staying at home if you're unwell (PRIORITY NUMBER ONE!)
-Staying calm and keeping yourself well-informed (My personal advice)

If you already know this, then great! If you didn't know any of this beforehand, please keep that information in mind as we all go through this trying time. It's a realm of unknowns at this point, and I wish myself and all of humanity well.


"PHINEAS ALBERT FLYNN!" Linda screamed, pointing at Phineas. "GET OFF THAT ROOF THIS INSTANT!"

"Sure thing...Linda," replied Phineas, smiling maliciously as the afternoon breeze picked up, as if on a cue. Without warning, the boy slid down the roof as if he were surfing a wave, and everyone screamed as he fell off the roof and landed expertly on the ground, doing a stylized roll as he did so. Doofenshmirtz and Norm followed suit, but both immediately tripped and fell off the roof, landing painfully and clumsily.

"OW! MY UNEVEN BACK!" Doofenshmirtz yelped.

"Mommy, I wanna go to the doctor," said Norm optimistically, having done the splits.

"BAH!" screamed Phineas, looking at his compatriots as they stood up, angered that they ruined the mood. "IDIOTS!"

"PHINEAS ALBERT FLYNN!" shrieked Linda, walking towards her son. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY DID THAT DANGEROUS STUNT IN FRONT OF ME!"

"Dad?" Vanessa asked, watching Doofenshmirtz dust his labcoat.

"Oh, hi Vanessa," greeted Doofenshmirtz.

"NO TIME FOR THIS!" Linda interrupted. She finally became calm when she saw Doofenshmirtz. "Heinz Doofenshmirtz?"

"Linda Flynn?"

"You two know each other?" asked Charlene.

"We dated once," Doofenshmirtz and Linda replied simultaneously.

"Uh..." said Lawrence, "awkward..."

"Well, I'd love to keep up this chitchat," Phineas snarled, "but we've got some matters to take care of. Doofenshmirtz?"

Doofenshmirtz nodded, flashed a smile of evil at everyone as he reached into one of his coat pockets, and procured...a set of car keys?

"WHAT?" screeched Phineas. "Doofenshmirtz, what happened to the Stun-Inator you put into your coat?"

"I, uh, left it behind at the...Danville Arena..."

Phineas slapped his forehead in disbelief, as Charlene raised an eyebrow.

"Stun-Inator, you say?" she asked.

"Well," explained Phineas, "we were planning to hold you all at gunpoint and summon the forces of LOVEMUFFIN to help us transport these inventions back to the Danville Arena, but since this idiot here-"

"HEY!" Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, putting his gangling hands on his hips.

"-ruined the mood for the second time for today, I guess we're gonna have to abort the plan and try again tomorrow. Have a nice day-"

"Or we could just do this," replied Norm, immediately transforming his hands into cannons that everyone gasped at, even Phineas and Doofenshmirtz.

"Wow, Norm," Doofenshmirtz said. "I REALLY need to read your instruction manual."

"Yes, yes you should, you idiot," commented Phineas, smiling sadistically as Doofenshmirtz crossed his arms in annoyance. "And I guess that takes care of the whole hold-everyone-at-gunpoint aspect of the operation, so, onward to Phase Two!"

"Which is?"

"DOOFENSHMIRTZ, YOU IDIOT! CALL IN LOVEMUFFIN!"

Doofenshmirtz squeaked fearfully, nodded loyally, and took out an advanced walkie-talkie.

"Heinz!" gasped Charlene. "You're actually gonna stand by as we're endangered?"

"Uh, yeah. About that-"

"HE'S EVIL, MOM!" Vanessa cried, pointing at her father accusingly. "I TOLD YOU, MOM! HE'S EVIL, BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN!"

"Is this true, Heinz? You're actually evil?"

"Uh...yeah," replied Doofenshmirtz. "That about sums it all up."

Charlene gasped in shock and said, "Oh, Heinz..."

"I can't believe this," said Mr. Doofenshmirtz. "Heinz, do you think becoming an advocate of villainy will solve things?"

"Actually, YES." Doofenshmirtz started filling up with boiling anger. "And this is because of what you did to me during my childhood, Father! You and Mother! You two treated me like nothing, but did you do the same for Roger? NO! You gave him all the attention and praise! You never did anything nice for ME! Not even ONCE! One time would've worked things out differently, but NO! YOU TREATED ME LIKE THE SWAMPS OF DRUELSELSTEIN: WORTHLESS, CRUDDY GARBAGE! ALL THE WHILE, ROGER JUST HAD TO BE YOUR SHINING, GOLDEN SPITZENHOUND! But things will change when LOVEMUFFIN and I take over the Tri-State Area. SOON, you will come to appreciate my successes, just like it should've been!"

"We're sorry we treated you this way, Heinz," Mrs. Doofenshmirtz said sincerely, "but we just couldn't help it! I swear to you, Heinz, we tried to be nice to you! But we couldn't help it!"

"AND WHY NOT?"

"We didn't tell you this before, Heinz, but you were one of t-"

"WAIT A MINUTE!" shrieked Doofenshmirtz. "YOU'RE DOING THE CLICHE OF STALLING THE VILLAIN WITH RIDICULOUS BACKSTORIES UNTIL HELP COMES IN! (A/N: Ironic, huh? XD) WELL, THAT WON'T WORK ON ME! NOW, SHUT YOUR TRAP, MOTHER, AND COWER BEFORE MY ROBOT'S CANNONS!"

"Wait a minute," Phineas said. "LOVEMUFFIN's goal is to conquer the Tri-State Area?"

"Uh, yeah. Pretty much."

"No offense, but that's a stupid goal. The Tri-State Area's not much of an area to cover if you have megalomaniacal pursuits. You guys should expand your interests. Maybe your goal should be to conquer the world." Phineas thought about it for a moment. "Yeah, maybe that's what we should do. CONQUER THE WORLD!"

"Oh, no one's conquering the world without getting through ME first!" scolded Linda. "Phineas Albert Flynn, tell your robot to lower his cannons and get over here this instant so I can bust you!"

"How about this? My robot here will continue aiming his cannons, and YOU will shut up!"

Linda gasped, outraged. "Oh, no you DIDN'T!"

"Oh yes I did."

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO YOUR MOTHER!"

"You're no longer my mother...Linda."

Linda didn't speak anymore; instead, her jaw dropped open, her mind unable to accept what her son just said to her.

"DUN DUN D-" Buford began, but Phineas maneuvered Norm to fire one of his cannons at the bush next to Buford, which burst into flames and motivating the bully to speak no further.

"Please, no more of that," snarled Phineas. "It's annoyingly repetitive and repetitively annoying. Now, Doofenshmirtz! Call in LOVEMUFFIN!"

"Yes, Shadow!" replied Doofenshmirtz. "FINALLY I got it right!"

"Phineas!" Isabella cried, stepping away from the crowd. "I don't know why you're doing this, but you've gotta stop! And what happened to your eyes?"

"No way I'm gonna stop, girl! And by the way, everyone, please stop calling me Phineas. The Phineas Albert Flynn you all know and love is long gone! From this point on, call me THE SHADOW!"

"Phineas, please stop!"

"I told you to call me THE SHADOW!"

"Phineas, PLEASE!"

"Once more, it's THE SHADOW!"

"PHINEAS!"

"THE SHADOW!"

"PHINEAS!"

"THE SHADOW!"

"PHINEAS!"

Phineas, now the Shadow, just sighed and nonchalantly punched Isabella in the face. Ferb and the Fireside Girls all gasped and rushed to her side.

"Chief, you all right?" asked Gretchen, but all she got in response was a strained crying from Isabella, who hugged her.

The Shadow, savoring the emotional scene with extreme delight, cackled heartily, as if he told a really funny joke. Doofenshmirtz and Norm looked at their ally and then joined in, but stopped when the Shadow threw an angry glance at them, causing them to stop. An awkward air of silence hung over the invention-filled backyard, before it was once again occupied by the Shadow's sadistic laughter. Ferb looked from her sobbing leader to the Shadow, rage in his eyes. Standing up, the British boy immediately grabbed the villain and shook him.

"What's wrong with you, Phineas?" he shrieked. "You're tearing our family and your friends apart!"

"Again, with the whole calling-me-Phineas-instead-of-Shadow subject!" groaned the Shadow, forming a frown of mock-sadness. "Ah well. When LOVEMUFFIN takes over the world, there'll be no more of Phineas's nonsense. Norm, take this resisting Brit away."

"Right-o, sir!" Norm replied, a claw emerging from his shoulder. But before the claw could seize Ferb, it was severed in half by a blur of teal.

Doofenshmirtz gasped at the assailant, crying angrily, "PERRY THE PLATYPUS!"

The platypus agent struck a fighting pose at Norm, who happily tried to grab him, but Perry kicked the robotic servant in the face. Everyone watched the fight unfold, their mouths wide open.

"Since when did Perry own a hat?" asked Baljeet.

"Ow, that hurts!" said Norm optimistically. "I'm telling on Mommy!" Perry immediately opened up Norm's back, revealing a set of wires, and unplugged a blue wire, causing the robot to fall over, paralyzed. "I'll just sleep now. Good night!"

Perry leapt off of Norm's chassis and faced the Shadow, chattering in protest at his owner. The Shadow just laughed back, pointing at the platypus.

"What in evil's name is this?" he asked.

"A suave, semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable, dynamic fury by the name of Perry the Platypus!" replied Doofenshmirtz.

"Really, Doofenshmirtz? Are you seriously saying that this pathetic platypus will actually spell our doom? Such a hilarious joke! AHAHAHA-OOF!"

Perry had jumped on the Shadow, causing the villain to fall over. The agent looked at his owner's eyes, chattered in shock at the sickening green, and glared angrily at Doofenshmirtz.

"What?" the scientist asked. "Don't look at me like that, Perry the Platypus! And I didn't forget what you did to my lab earlier!"

Perry hopped off the Shadow and charged towards his arch-nemesis. Doofenshmirtz shrieked and aimed his car keys.

"Face the wrath of my...car keys?" he said, seconds before being punched in the face by Perry. "OW! Perry the Platypus, that really HURT! AGH!" At this point, Perry was assaulting him with a barrage of punches. "OW, OW, OW, OW, OW! PERRY THE PLATYPUS, STOP! OW, OW, OW! HELP ME, NORM!"

"Sorry, Dad. I'm trying to sleep here."

"Quick, everyone!" cried Roger. "This is our chance to get away!"

"Oh, no it isn't," a new voice said. Everyone looked over at the backyard tree; even Perry stopped punching Doofenshmirtz and looked over curiously. At the tree, several scientists from LOVEMUFFIN were stepping out of a portal. Among them were Rodney, Cravenblack, Bloodpudding, Diminuitive, Sharpeard, and Wackeye.

Cravenblack's raven immediately cawed and flew into the air before swooping down on Perry, grabbing the platypus with its talons. Perry immediately retaliated by pulling out a watch and pressing a button on it; the watch fired a red laser at the raven's leg, causing it to screech out in pain and release the agent. Perry maneuvered himself towards the backyard tree using the afternoon wind and landed safely on the branches, only to be shot by Bloodpudding and Sharpeard's Stun-Inators, resulting in him falling into the arms of Wackeye. Meanwhile, Diminuitive had rushed over to Doofenshmirtz's side and helped him up, while Cravenblack did the same with the Shadow.

"W-W-Wha?" Lawrence exclaimed. "What's going on here?"

"Well, well, well," said Rodney, approaching him, "if it isn't the ridiculously British man with the dorky glasses who usurped my attempt to become LOVEMUFFIN's supreme ruler, Lawrence Anthony Fletcher!"

"Hey, those are my words!" Doofenshmirtz snarled at his arch-rival.

"Hey, aren't you those pharmacists that I somehow became king of?" asked Lawrence, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes, yes we are," Cravenblack replied.

"LOVEMUFFIN members!" announced the Shadow, pointing at Lawrence. "Fletcher here is a maniac! Doofenshmirtz tried asking him for permission to induct me into LOVEMUFFIN, but Lawrence selfishly ordered his pet platypus Perry to attack him for no apparent reason!"

"What?" Doofenshmirtz asked. "No he d-" He was silenced by a cold glare from the Shadow.

"Really?" Bloodpudding asked, looking at the Shadow suspiciously.

"Look at his injuries!" The Shadow pointed at Doofenshmirtz's bruises and cuts inflicted by Perry. "Oh, the humanity of it all!"

"Uh, um, uh, yeah, OW!" Doofenshmirtz cried in agreement, not wanting to suffer retribution from the Shadow. "OW, OW! IT HURTS! Heed my words, LOVEMUFFIN; Lawrence Fletcher doesn't give a darn about his inferiors! And doesn't it say on the LOVEMUFFIN rule book that the supreme ruler must treat his inferiors with respect, otherwise be kicked off?"

"Yes, yes it does!" replied Wackeye. "Lawrence Fletcher, we hereby strip your status as LOVEMUFFIN's supreme ruler."

"Well, not that I care," Lawrence said, not understanding the situation. "I don't even know how I agreed to sign up to become your so-called supreme ruler..." All LOVEMUFFIN members except for the Shadow and Doofenshmirtz gasped. "Oh boy, wrong thing to say..."

"With no other runner-up to be LOVEMUFFIN supreme ruler," announced the Shadow, "I guess that makes ME able to take the spot."

"Wait, since when?" Rodney asked, crossing his arms. "We need to host a redo-pageant first!"

"Well, there's no need for that anymore. LOVEMUFFIN, you have your new ruler! The Shadow!"

"Okay," Baljeet whispered to Buford, "I've seen stranger days, but this is REALLY strange."

"Agreed."

"And there'll be no arguing about the matter!" the Shadow continued. "LOVEMUFFIN, my first order is to seize all of these bystanders!"

The evil scientists all looked at one another apprehensively.

"What do ya think?" asked Diminuitive. "Should we do it?"

"Why not?" Cravenblack replied. "I like our new leader already! Unlike Fletcher, this kid's actually giving orders."

"Yeah, what the heck!" exclaimed Bloodpudding.

Before anyone knew it, the Shadow, Doofenshmirtz, Norm, and LOVEMUFFIN spent the last five minutes rounding up the Flynn-Fletchers, Perry, the Doofenshmirtzes, Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, Django, the Fireside Girls, and the other children using several Inators. More LOVEMUFFIN members arrive to help transport the hostages back to the Danville Arena. The Shadow cackled triumphantly.

"Sorry to end your day on a low note, everyone," he said tauntingly, "but don't worry! Tomorrow will be a more entertaining day, for you will all bear witness to the conquest of Danville! The day after that, it'll be the rest of the Tri-State Area! The day after, the world!"

"The world?" asked Bloodpudding.

"Bear with it, Bloodpudding," Doofenshmirtz whispered. "He thinks our goal to conquer the Tri-State Area isn't enough."

"Phineas!" Ferb cried. "What in the world are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" replied the Shadow. "And please, no more of this Phineas-calling. Phineas is no more."

"I don't know what happened to you, Phineas, but we'll find a way to get you better, I promise!"

The Shadow smiled triumphantly. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Fletcher."

Ferb growled, then struggled angrily against his bonds. A recovering Perry looked at Ferb sadly and touched his owner's hand, easing him. Ferb took one last look at his changed brother before breaking down into a terrible, pained sob. Isabella, Baljeet, Buford, and any child near Ferb flinched, for no one ever heard Ferb cry before. Vanessa inched over towards Ferb and touched his hand comfortingly. Meanwhile, Candace was staring daggers at her younger brother.

"PHINEAS, YOU ARE SO BUSTED!" she screamed.

"Candace, be quiet! Let me handle this!" berated Linda before looking at the Shadow angrily. "PHINEAS ALBERT FLYNN, YOU ARE SO BUSTED!"

"Oh, I wouldn't say that, Linda," the Shadow said. "It's more like 'Shadow, you are so POWERFUL'! AHAHAHAHAHA! Take 'em away, boys!"

The scientists obliged and dragged the captives away towards the portal, while the Shadow commanded Doofenshmirtz and the remaining scientists to take care of the inventions. Little did anyone notice Perry press a suspicious-looking button on his watch...


Original A/N: Looks like everyone's in trouble and in captivity! Oh, NO! And what's up with Perry's 'suspicious-looking button'? You'll find out later! Otherwise, you somehow correctly guess it.

And yes, I update really fast. Hopefully this chapter pleased you, for I feel slightly uncomfortable with this one. But I'm still proud of my handiwork, so I guess that's good.

I'd like to thank the following for reviewing:

PnFfan101 [I will make those three pairings you mentioned the star pairings in the end.]

NattyMc [LOL! XD]

nightmaster000

iheartphinabella05

NoShameHere

Person X (unsigned) [Thanks. :)]

CAB00SE

thaimaster16 (unsigned) [Actually, Phineas didn't enter the backyard with Ferb; he stayed behind at DEI and lied to Ferb that he would be going back to Blueprint Heaven. Unless I'm missing something there...]

fanatheinvader [NOW the Shadow hurts someone. More specifically, Isabella! :O]

Stinkfly3

IzzieGS

ultimix [Good point there.]

Leopardlover1002

maniac's maniac

Girlpandagreenlime (unsigned)

Gyaradosmaster

speedman12 (unsigned) [A perfect choice of words. Or more like word.]

BroadwayFanGirl91

Well, hope you enjoyed this dark chapter! TheCartoonFanatic01 is out. PEACE!

*runs off before Candace can reach him*

New A/N: This is a bit of a mixed bag of a chapter for me. On one hand, the tone of the chapter is a bit more faithful to the original show's tone, which I appreciate. I'm especially enthused with how I wrote Doofenshmirtz here. On the other hand, the writing style is just...meh. I especially didn't like how I portrayed Linda here. Her behavior, even in the face of the evil Phineas, just feels so out-of-place.

Well, there's nothing I can really do about it, now is there?

Anyway, it looks like no one reviewed the last chapter. Not that I blame them. I think I'm just re-posting this for the sake of being a completionist. XP

Well, hope you enjoyed this rather late chapter! TheCartoonFanatic01 is out. PEACE!

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