Cohabitation @woodyk
Chapter 6

Yoshi and Birdo watched as Mario furiously packed up and got a moving truck to leave the Mushroom Kingdom forever. The residents of the Mushroom Kingdom were too distraught by his angry farewell speech to make him reconsider.

Because they could not change Mario's mind, his friends instead gave him gifts to say farewell. However, Mario also threw away all the going away presents they gave him, he thought they were mostly bombs and other violent weapons sent by Peach to murder him. Some were cakes, but he assumed Peach had them all poisoned to kill him. The way Peach treated Mario ever since the moon disaster left him too upset and frustrated to trust her. He even left the Odyssey behind, Mario angrily stated that he didn't even want it anymore and that Peach could keep it.

When Luigi, Daisy, Rosalina, Toad, Toadette said that Peach was more saddened that Mario thought, the red plumber simply scoffed and claimed that she would forget his name and recover so quickly that their heads would spin.

Once the moving truck was full and his house was empty, Toadsworth asked Mario, "So this is really the end, huh?"

Mario angrily muttered, "After everything Peach did to me, the mean things she said to me on the way back from the Moon Kingdom, her rotten attitude towards me, her lack of gratitude for rescuing her, her insensitivity over the fact that I almost died more than once and her refusal to take anything she did to hurt me back is proof that she would be completely unfazed over me leaving forever."

"Master Mario, I know you and Princess Peach have had a lot of... misunderstandings lately, but she would be sad and miss you if you left."

"No, she wouldn't! If Peach really would, she never would had said she didn't need me or that she'd rather die than give me cake or kisses again!"

"Can't you two just talk things over?"

"That's not what she would do."

"Master Mario-"

"Just let me go! Clearly, I was nothing more than a puppet to her! Now that she's cut my strings, it's time for me to be free of all the emotional pain she caused me. I guarantee that if you told her about my permanent departure, the only she will do is say whatever. She'll just shrug and get a new slave/punching bag to betray in another 32 years."


Toadsworth gave up and left, Mario drove off to start a new life somewhere far away. His first thought was about living the life of a slacker in Bubblaine. When he got there, he bought a condo and did nothing but rest. All day, every day, Mario relaxed near the nice big beach with a lot of nice big drinks and nice big bags of ice for his head.

The dinos looked online and saw no more rumors, Yoshi asked, "Well, now that people aren't bothering us anymore, you want your house back? No one has bought it yet."

"I suppose. I'll see you around. Thanks for the help."

"You too. If you'd like, I can convince Nintendo to add you in Crafted World."

"It's fine. It's probably too late for that anyways."

Birdo packed up and was about to call a moving truck. Suddenly, their phones buzzed like crazy. Now, Yoshi and Birdo were being bombarded with rumors about them and other couples killing each other, started by another user online. This frustrated them like crazy, Yoshi and Birdo growled in irritation, "Not again!"

Seeing this, Birdo decided to extend her stay, she cancelled the moving truck and unpacked her bags as Yoshi and Birdo sighed in annoyance, "Here we go again."


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