The Stand @theactualrealone
Weasleys' Wizarding Wheezes

"Hey guys" caused everyone to look up from whatever they were doing "The Weasley twins invited me to look at their shop, since me and Sirius are investors."

Rishi responded with a grin "Hell yeah!"

Each grabbed a few galleons and hopped into the floo. After arriving in the Leaky Cauldron, they walked into 93 Diagon Alley and were shocked.


"Damn" Harry simply said. He invested in the Twins because he believed in them. Even he didn't imagine this amount of success.

Fred who was talking to a customer, sighted Harry first "Harry! Good to see you! Same with you Rishi!"

"This spread is nice" Rishi shook Fred's hand "May we enter?"

"Of course" Fred nodded. Since he was the owner, people willingly made a path for them to walk. Harry took that time to look around. The store appeared to be a hit. There was only one battered box of Nosebleed Nougats. They had many varieties on quills in bins, and trick wands nearby. Harry debated grabbing one and swapping it with Rishi's. There were also the Skiving Snackboxes which Fred and George occasionally terrorized them with. He even got a quick glance at the potions and saw Daydream potions which looked quite impressive.

Fred lead them to George who was telling a kid "If we catch you again, you'll pay in more than galleons!"

George then turned to the silent backer and gave him a hug "Harry! Thanks for coming!"

"I wouldn't miss it" Harry said ruefully.

"We'll show you the back" Fred told him "Rishi, can you make sure that kid doesn't try that shit again?"

Rishi nodded "Permission to use lethal force?"

"Granted, but make it funny" George laughed.

"Of course" Rishi agreed.

They left Rishi to watch the store as the Twins showed Harry the rest "Here, we got some Muggle tricks. Not a big seller but Muggleborns and people like Dad love 'em."

George pointed a section that compared to the rest of the store, was very subdued "We made a bunch of Shield Hats as a joke. You know, challenge your mate to a duel then watch all of his spells get deflected. But a bunch of the Ministry can't produce a shield charm, so Amelia came down here herself and ordered them in bulk."

"Then that girl Fleur" Fred continued "She and Cedric came to visit and saw these. She passed it along to her dad, who's apparently important in France. The French Ministry then gave their own order."

"We then branched out. Shield Robes, Shield Gloves, we're currently working on Shield Glasses" George added "Meanwhile, more Ministries are ordering though they don't need as many as our Ministry."

"We then branched out in the whole DADA area. We got Instant Darkness Powder, from Peru. Good for a quick escape. We also have Decoy Detanators. Drop one and it'll get you a sweet diversion" Fred finished.

"This is amazing!" Harry exclaimed.

"We're happy you feel that way" George grinned "If you want anything, just nick it off the shelves."


"You gave us the money. You and Sirius own 50% of the business" Fred said seriously "We Weasleys never break our promises. Take whatever you want. Free of charge."

"It's your business" Harry didn't like this "Can we lower it. To maybe, you guys own 60% and we own 40%? This is your business. You should have the majority."

The Twins had a silent conversation before saying "If we do that, will you willingly allow yourself to not pay for anything?"

"Fine" Harry conceded "Also, can we talk about some anti-theft wards? There are some great ones that the Black family has."

A blonde girl stuck her head through the door. Harry noted that she had the maroon worker robes "Mr Weasley? Mr Weasley? A woman wants to speak with you. She says that she's your mother."

Fred grimaced "I had a feeling she'd come. Give us a moment."

George nodded "Thanks Verity."

"Well, we better go" Fred grinned "And, we'll contact Sirius for the anti-theft wards. Bill's already planning to come to add some wards for us anyway."

Harry nodded as the three of them headed out. He met back up with Rishi, who simply shook his head "They love this stuff. These people probably would kill me for it."

Harry sent a nod to Rishi but he was watching the Twins argue with their mom. Realizing that she could be bad for business, he ran up to them "Why don't we talk in the back room?"

The Twins nodded angrily and escorted their former family to the room. Once the door was shut, Molly began yelling "Where is our money?!"

Harry was happy that he set up some privacy wards. He also cast wards on the products. He didn't put it past Ron to try to steal some.

"We aren't giving you any money. We aren't family" George snarled.

Ron looked at Harry "Why is he here?"

"He is one of our investors. Unlike you guys, he believed in us and invested" Fred smirked.

"I am your mother" Molly yelled "You will give me money!"

"NO" George yelled back "You are not my mother. You are dishonorable woman who resorted to stealing from an orphan! I would never help you."

"Same with me. You lost us the moment you stopped believing in our dreams. You wanted us to move YOU to up in the world, but you couldn't accept that to succeed, you didn't need to join the Ministry. Well, we're moving up now! We're one of the biggest stores in the Alley! Meanwhile, in our society, you're lower than a Muggleborn" Fred sneered.

Molly glared and started shepherding her kids away "Fine. We'll go. Come on."

Ron grabbed something and yelped as his hand started burning "What the fuck?!"

The eldest Boseman boy then underwent a yelling from his mom.

Ginny meanwhile was staring at a love potion, which worried Harry. She quietly whispered to Fred "How do you make that?"

"We're not telling" Fred laughed "Besides, why do you need it? From what I hear, everyone takes you up on your offers."

Ron tried to grab the item again, which was a Nosebleed Nougat that the twins were modifying. Once again, he felt that shock "Why is it shocking me?"

"I set up some protection wards. They prevent anyone from taking any item in the room." Harry explained.

Fred and George went from angry to absolutely pissed "You were trying to steal?"

Ron meekly nodded which caused Fred to yell "Get out! Now!"

The three ran out, but not before Harry yelled "Enjoy your 2 NEWT classes!"

"Welcome back to Hogwarts!" Dumbledore announced to roaring applause "Now that you have been fed and watered, I ask that your prefects take you to the common rooms! Good day!"

Harry began shepherding the kids. He planned to get them in order before going to the Hospital Wing. As he told a bunch of loud first-years to quiet down, Flitwick came over. He looked at his Charms teacher who said "Dumbledore wishes to speak with you."

"I have to go to the Hospital Wing" Harry pointed out.

"I know" Flitwick reminded him "The Headmaster didn't give me a chance to speak."

Harry shook his head "Tell him that I have a prior meeting which can't be rescheduled. Hopefully he'll understand. If not, we'll see."

Flitwick smiled and went to speak with the Headmaster. Harry meanwhile, went to the Hospital Wing. He found the Matron of the Wing waiting for he. He looked around as she took him to her office once again.

"I would first like to congratulate you on your OWLs. Your grades are truly something to be proud of" Madam Pomfrey began.

"Thank you" Harry replied.

"Now, let's get down to business. I will offer you the apprenticeship" she continued "I understand that you are a prefect as well as Quidditch Captain so you can not be in the Hospital 24/7. However, 4 days a week, I'd like you to come down here."

"I'll also be giving you this" Madam Pomfrey held up a leather necklace with had a single amethyst on it "It's a standard apprenticeship gift. If I need assistance right away, it will vibrate to alert you."

She placed around Harry's neck, who smiled "I'm honored."

"Now then," Pomfrey got serious "Many people believed that you couldn't handle all this responsibility including the Headmaster. I hope that you are ready to prove them wrong."

"I am" Harry nodded "I've put contingencies in the place. Rishi is the co-captain if I need him to take over practice. And if it ever gets too much, I'll resign as captain."

Madam Pomfrey smiled "Good. Now, I'll see you tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night ma'am" Harry left the Hospital Wing.

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