Between Who You Are and Who You Could Be @riveriver
prologue

Disclaimer: Usual spiel: I own nothing, don't want to, and glad of it. I think SM sucks. All that Blackwater groundwork she laid in Breaking Dawn . . . squished . . . I'll never forgive her. Title from 'Dare You to Move' by Switchfoot.

Timeline (According to Lexicon):

March 16th: Harry Clearwater dies.
March 18th: Harry Clearwater's funeral.
May 25th: Bella learns about imprinting.

Between Who You Are and Who You Could Be
(between how it is and how it should be)

"It's one of those bizarre things we have to deal with. It doesn't happen to everyone."
Jacob Black, Eclipse, Chapter 5: 'Imprint'

unwillingly mine / fate / up against your will
Echo & the Bunnymen, "The Killing Moon"

prologue.

"Did it happen to you?" I finally asked, still looking away. "This love-at-first-sight thing?"
Bella Swan, Eclipse, Chapter 5: 'Imprint'

"Yes," he replies.

If Bella hadn't been sitting, Jacob's absolutely sure that she would have fallen. Maybe she still might. Maybe she'll topple straight off the tree and onto the wet ground where he's sat by her feet.

Once — before — Bella's lack of balance would have made him smile. Throw his head back and laugh, even. Now it has him worried that she'll end up hurting herself, because she's proven to be real good at that.

He waits one minute. Two. Three.

Then, hesitantly, he clears his throat and looks up at her. "Bells?"

She takes a deep, gasping breath at the sound of his voice as if she's been holding it in. Then she scrubs at her face, wiping away tears which Jacob suspects begun to fall almost immediately after he admitted the truth. It's not as if he's been deliberately keeping it from her, but still he feels as if the last weight that's been holding him down has lifted from his shoulders. He's free.

"Aw, Bells." He reaches out for her, but he lets his hand fall when she flinches. "C'mon, don't cry."

"I'm not," she lies, turning her head away. "Really. I'm . . . I'm glad. It's good, right? I'm happy for you."

He doesn't believe her. Especially not when she chokes on a sob and wraps her arms around herself, exactly the way she used to after the bloodsucker had left her. The bloodsucker who had broken her into pieces.

But —

No. It's not the same. He doesn't belong to Bella. He has never belonged to Bella. Not even after he'd finally put her back together. Not when she had crashed her motorbike and called him sort-of beautiful. Not when he had saved her from the water. And certainly not when she'd run off to Italy after he had begged and begged her to stay with him.

He doesn't belong to Bella, because Bella didn't choose him. Maybe she never would have.

Either way, it doesn't matter. She won't have the chance now.

Jacob still doesn't know how he feels about that, not even as Bella squeezes herself and keeps her gaze fixed on the horizon.

It is a long while before she speaks again.

"When?"

 Anonymous reviews have been disabled. Login to review. 1. prologue 376 0 0 2. one 2713 0 0 3. two 2883 0 0 4. three 3092 0 0 5. four 3549 0 0 6. five 4417 0 0 7. six 3583 0 0 8. seven 4480 0 0 9. eight 3691 0 0 10. nine 2438 0 0 11. ten 2859 0 0 12. eleven 2354 0 0 13. twelve 2534 0 0 14. thirteen 3152 0 0 15. fourteen 1990 0 0 16. fifteen 4078 0 0 17. sixteen 3025 0 0 18. seventeen 4411 0 0 19. eighteen 3998 0 0 20. nineteen 3855 0 0 21. twenty 3548 0 0 22. twenty-one 4653 0 0 23. twenty-two 3493 0 0 24. twenty-three 2837 0 0 25. twenty-four 3524 0 0 26. twenty-five 5365 0 0 27. twenty-six 3566 0 0 28. twenty-seven 2778 0 0 29. twenty-eight 2824 0 0 30. twenty-nine 4339 0 0 31. thirty 3234 0 0 32. thirty-one 4997 0 0 33. thirty-two 3742 0 0 34. thirty-three 5483 0 0 35. thirty-four 3923 0 0 36. thirty-five 4638 0 0 37. thirty-six 2612 1 1 38. thirty-seven 4409 0 0 39. thirty-eight 4292 0 0 40. thirty-nine 4088 0 0 41. forty 4542 0 0 42. forty-one 6594 0 0 43. forty-two 6667 0 0 44. forty-three 2359 0 0 45. interlude one (quil) 1346 0 0 46. interlude two (embry) 2681 0 0 47. forty-four 3563 0 0 48. forty-four 3602 0 0 49. forty-five 4955 0 0 50. forty-six 3038 0 0 51. forty-seven 6046 0 0 52. forty-eight 4827 0 0 53. forty-nine 3557 0 0 54. fifty 3128 0 0 55. interlude four (sam) 5016 0 0 56. fifty-one 4120 0 0 57. fifty-two 5802 0 0 58. fifty-three 4843 0 0 59. speak now or forever hold your peace 1865 0 0 60. for the record 3626 0 0 61. rachel black 3263 0 0