Lilliana1118, thank you for adding my story to your alerts! Much thanks! And InuKagLover 1992, I understand. Thank you for the compliment! I was worried that since my other Inuyasha story wasn't as great as I felt it could be that maybe I just wasn't good at writing Inuyasha stories as this one and Into The Bone Eater's Well are my only two Inuyasha fics.
A week later found the sad Miko more anxious than ever, her mind still on the fact that she had allowed herself to become tainted. That was how she felt on that subject and even after her mother had assured her that she had done something that all teenagers did at one point or another she still couldn't let it go. She had never truly felt like a regular teenager, nor had she felt as she had ever been a normal child. She could recall all the torment she had endured as a child, having a strange power that all the kids in her time had been afraid of and yet they had wanted her to show it to them, chasing her all over until she had gone into her home to hide from their jeering. Sitting in the large waiting room she kept her head down, refusing to look at all the others that were in the space with her. She just wanted this to be over with and yet she didn't want to be here either. She felt the urge to run, to pretend that this hadn't happened, but her mother was right and she couldn't escape what she had done and she also needed to make sure that whomever she had slept with hadn't given her something to remember them by. She needed to be healthy after all, to fight against Naraku. They had found all the shards, they were sure of this because of the dark Hanyou had shown his hand, flashing his portion of the Shikon no Tama, cocky that they would never succeed in removing it from his grasp.
They still had more to do, Kohaku was still missing after all and no one was even sure he was alive. Naraku hadn't said anything about the young male slayer. She felt bad for her sister, felt that it was unfair that even she could not get what she longed for besides her monk and that had happened. She felt that had she not done what she had done that night she would have found out why her friend had been so happy, but no, she had fled in shame. Afraid that her friends would disown her for allowing such a thing to happen and that was something she couldn't allow to happen. No, she had to flee and now she wasn't even sure if she wanted to go back. "Kagome Higurashi!" came a call from her right, her mother touching her shoulder to get her attention. She started at the contact as the nurse in front of her called out her name again. Grimacing at what was to come she stood up, her mother following behind her as they went to the room the nurse led them to. She still felt that urge to flee, to forget about all the stuff that had happened, but her mother, as if feeling the waves of fear coming from her daughter, moved to hold her hand as they entered the small room. "Wait here and the doctor will be with you shortly."
"It'll be okay, sweetheart," her mother said soothingly. She tried to take in that energy that her mother was trying to send to her, but looking at the bed where she was to lay down just made her more nervous. It had stirrups on the end of the bed, her mother having told her a bit of what they would do since she was sexually active. Not that she planned on ever doing that again! "It'll be uncomfortable, but they need to check you and then they will be drawing blood." She also knew they would be asking rather embarrassing questions that she was not willing to answer or in her case, some that she could not answer. The nurse returned with a hospital gown, handing it to her mother when Kagome couldn't seem to bring herself to touch it at the moment. Even after the nurse left and her mother had handed her the gown she still couldn't seem to function. It was like her brain couldn't process what she was about to do, as if doing it made the act itself real. It was real no matter what she chose to do and finally with a sigh she went behind the curtain and changed into the gown, its texture rubbing her the wrong way as she crawled up onto the bed before her. Her brown eyes eyed the stirrups with a wariness that her mother could see from her spot in the only chair besides the doctors small stool that sat on the other side of the bed.
It felt like forever, sitting there in that cold room, the smells of the hospital filling the air around them. She could hear the other patients in the rooms next to hers, their voices low, but she could still hear them and the intercom as it buzzed with names being called, doctors going about their business. Growing up she hadn't really had to worry about the hospital as she had been a pretty healthy kid and even as a child, but as a teenager she hadn't had to go at all since she was mostly over on the other side with her friends. It's not to say she hadn't been hurt, but they had been minor scratches for the most part since her friends protected her at all costs and now she could return that kindness. She could protect them from the knowledge that she had failed in her Miko role by having sex with someone. She could keep that to herself and when she found time alone with Kaede she could ask her for help. Not that she was sure if her powers were gone but it was a thought that had been instilled since she was told about her powers and she had been a virgin during that time. She was just too afraid to know.
"Ah, Kagome Higurashi?" came a voice, a woman walking into the room with a clipboard, her fingers shifting thru the papers on it. "My name is Doctor Goto. You're here for the pap smear, the tests for both stds and pregnancy?" At that lost word her eyes grew wide and her mind seemed to short circuit at the thought that she could have fallen pregnant to that one night.
"Um, those first two," she said, her voice so soft that the doctor might not have heard her, but she did and looked down at the papers. "It was only the one time..." she faded off, looking down at her hands that were gripping tightly to the gown just over her stomach as it lurched with the thought that they would think she was pregnant. "I would know if I was." The doctor looked to her mother and Mama Higurashi agreed with what the notes said. That she would be getting all three things that day whether her daughter wanted them or not. It was better to be aware of all that could have happened from that one night.
"Your mother is the one that makes that decision, Miss Higurashi," the doctor said, taking a tone that would brook no argument, but even then Kagome shot her mother of look to say otherwise. The look her mother gave her spoke volumes, things that couldn't be said in the presence of the doctor. "Just think about it," the woman continued. "If you were pregnant and something happened that cost you your life?" That made the girl on the bed blanch further, the fact that if she had fallen pregnant was bad enough, but that it could cost her her life. Hell, being pregnant would more than likely be far worse for her even if it didn't cost her her life. She was supposed to fight against Naraku soon and a pregnancy would definitely get in the way of that and it would cause her friends to have to fight harder to protect her. "And the sooner we find out the sooner you can choose to either keep the baby or not." The way the doctor said it made tears come to her life. It was just so clinical. No breaking the ice before announcing such a thing...just keep it or not. As much as she didn't want to be pregnant she knew that she wouldn't kill a baby. She knew most people would give anything to have a child and if she was pregnant than she would give someone that gift of life.
"Okay," she muttered.
That night Inuyasha found himself at the edge of the well, waiting for Kagome to come back, to know if all was alright on her end. Was she sick? Was she not coming back today even though her mother had said that Kagome just wasn't coming back for that week so she could go to the doctor? Where is she? He was beginning to grow more upset and more worried every second that passed, but he just couldn't bring himself to go to her side. He didn't know why, but he couldn't bring himself to jump into the well. Maybe it was that fear that she wasn't okay...that something over here had done something to her and he hadn't even been aware of her being hurt. She had said nothing to anyone. She always did this! She didn't hide her injuries, but she did try to power thru them until someone figured it out and made her spill the beans. She always brushed off her own problems, forging on as though nothing was wrong. The only times she had opened up to anyone had been with Sango...and she hadn't even confided this to her. That was really what worried him the most at this moment. If she couldn't confide in someone she always confided in then it had to be bad.
"Still no sign of her?" came Sango's question from the darkness as she walked up to stand near the well, her own brown eyes reflecting the worry that the whole group was feeling. Inuyasha shot her a look, a glare at her question.
"Yeah, she's here, just sitting on the edge of the well," he snapped. "Can't you see her?" Sango bristled at his words, but made herself calm down because she knew how the Hanyou felt about the Miko from the future and since he wasn't one to show what most demons considered a weakness she let it go, but she still let him know that he was wrong to snap at her.
"You know we are all worried about her, right?" They had all sent letters to her, get well cards that had been given to her mother to give Kagome, but she had yet to send anything back. Another worry that clouded his mind, made him snap twice as quickly because it felt like she was pulling away from them. Her mother had tried to sooth him with words that she was just in a funk now, that she hadn't said much to her either after that first night. He had asked if she had been eating and taking care of herself and her mother had looked fretful, sad too. "It's just not like her to withdraw from us, but to do that to her mother is cruel." Inuyasha agreed with the assessment, but at the same time he worried that there was more to this and her mother knew something that was causing the young woman to act like she was. Her mother had said that female teenagers were prone to be moody and soon she would be fine. Even she didn't seem to believe her words because the anxiety that he had was nothing to the waves of it that which oozed of her mother.
"Feh," was all he said as he looked back into the darkness of the well, debating on whether to give her another day even though he had told the group he planned on going back that very night. Would she come back on her own or would he even get to see her. Sango shook her head at his downtrodden look and decided to give him time alone again. He had been so temperamental and while it wasn't something new on a certain level, his worry for the female on the other side of the well it was understandable that he would lash out. I just want to hold her close, to smell her scent... He wanted to make sure that she was really okay and the simple fact that her scent had a calming effect on his demon was just another reason she had to come back to him. Yeah, it was selfish and while the words that Kikyo had said the other day still replayed in his mind he still found that he didn't care if she would never allow him to be what he wanted to be with her. He just wanted her back. Was that too much to ask?
On the other side of the well, Kagome lay in her bed, her body still on edge and unwilling to go to sleep. Everything that day had been stressful and when it was all said and done she was good. No signs of anything from the pap smear, no stds from the unplanned activities and no pregnancy. Everything was good, but she couldn't seem to get over it, to be happy that her one time of sex hadn't left her with any of the side effects or a pregnancy that would only cause issues with her fighting on the other side of the well. The Fuedal Era... That was the issue now though. Should she go back? She couldn't try her powers here since it might cause problems for her family should she attract something unknown like the Noh Mask that one time. Sure, it had been because of the shards that she held in her possession, but who knew if there were demons in her time period? Whose to say that just because she had never felt one that they didn't exist in her time. After all, Inuyasha himself was well over 200 years old and she was sure that Sesshomaru was at least 500 or more since he was the older of the two. That meant that there could still be demons lurking in her time.
Sighing again she recalled the talk she had had with her mother the first night she had come home and the fact that her mother was now upset, sad that her daughter would not talk to her further. She hadn't told her mother everything, not why she had been so upset about her losing her virginity. It was because of a certain male in her life, one that even if he had never expressed an affection for her more than that of a friend that she hadn't wanted anyone else to take her virginity. Even if she never had sex she would have been fine because she didn't want anyone the way she wanted Inuyasha. Her feelings for him went beyond a simple crush as she had thought it in the beginning. She knew it was love and that love was unrequited. She would just have to sleep on it, if she could sleep. Closing her eyes again and rolling onto her side facing the wall she willed her body to sleep, refusing to take the sleep time medicine that her mother had given her the first night. Then again she had refused a lot of stuff from her mother, but her mother didn't know that she didn't eat her food. No, she threw it away those first two days at least, then she had eaten a few of the meals before just all together refusing to eat all that her mother had prepared. She knew that it hurt her mother's feelings, but like her her mother never said a word in anger. She never berated her daughter for refusing the meals, even though she still pleading softly for her daughter to eat the meals.
She didn't even eat today and although her stomach was now angry with her for her lack of substance she just curled up tighter to make it muffled to her hearing. As she lay there, the stillness of the night making her feel even more alone a tap on the glass of her window made her jump. She didn't even get up, nor did she look at the window. Maybe if I lay here he will go away. The lights were off and no one but her was awake, her eyes closing tightly with a hope that if she tried she could force herself to go to sleep.
"Kagome," came his soft voice, and she had to hold back her whimper at the sadness of his tone, the fact that he was so melancholy sounding making her feel even more guilty. She couldn't stand the fact that she felt she had betrayed him with another male, but to think that he was sad because she hadn't gone back home in those seven days. Her mother had informed him of her need to stay in her time for now, but he must have gotten tired of waiting. Maybe it was all in her head, his sad tone...He was usually more upset when she was gone because it put them behind in collecting shards, but there were no more shards so why was he in such a rush to have her back? To fight Naraku? They hadn't heard from him in a while so that couldn't be it. How could they fight something that they couldn't find? No, there was no reason for him to come back for her now. "Kagome, I know you're awake. Please let me in." That was shocking to her as well, his requesting something instead of demanding it. She was curious now and also she didn't want him to wake up the rest of the family so she got up, making sure that her body was covered from neck to ankle before she approached the window. Flicking on her desk lamp she opened the curtains to look out at the Hanyou of her desires. He was looking at her, his golden orbs so soft in the darkness behind him. The lamp on the desk wasn't super bright, so there wasn't much it illuminated save for the desk and a few inches behind it.
He waited for her to open the window, to allow him in, but she just stared at him for a moment, as if she couldn't move. Again he said her name, a soft pleading sound that seemed to break her from her stupor. "Why are you here, Inuyasha?" As if she didn't know! He wanted her to come back, but she didn't know if she could.
"Kagome, let me in." When she shook her head, his eyes narrowed, but not in anger, no it was frustration. "Why not?" She couldn't give him an answer at that moment, not one that he would believe. He could always read her, he knew when she was lying or telling the truth. He knew her almost too well as she did him and yet, she finally came up with a response.
"Because I can't. I can't let you in." Was she talking about the room? She didn't know, but she couldn't do it. "I just can't..." she faded off as her voice cracked, her body seeming unable to handle the stress of her emotions and the lack of substance in her body, began to crumple.
The last thing she heard was the sound of glass breaking and Inuyasha's cry, "Kagome!" And then it was dark, nothingness overtook all her senses and she welcomed it with open arms.
Ah, so she has all the answers she needs save for if she can even help her friends with powers she may not even have anymore...What will Inuyasha say when she wakes up? Will she wake up at all? Stay safe!