The Longing of the Heart @otherealmwriter
Natalya's Journal 22

I do not own Hetalia okay? I don't have much more to say here so enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

November 17th 1918

(from the diary of Natalya Jones nee Arlovskaya)

I cannot do this! I just cannot! I thank God above that Katyusha had come over to help, but I am so scared. Only a few weeks ago we had gotten the news of big brother's death in the war. Fredka was so healthy I did not think this flu would get him. I thought Matvey was more likely to catch it with his injuries and how the gas attack affected his respiratory system. I heard stories from the other women in our neighborhood about them losing brothers, sisters, parents, children. I lost my brother in that stupid war started by a bunch of Europeans who hate each other forever! To think I will lose my husband to a flu too! No. I have kept Nikolai busy by having him look after his baby siblings. Ivan and Anya are still young. But Nikolai keeps wanting to play with his father, and doesn't quite understand why he cannot see him. I honestly say that I could not have done this without big sister. She's been quite the rock for us since all this happened.

I took some soup up to him while Katyusha looked after the children and he looked so pale, it was scary. I made sure he ate it. I checked his forehead for fever and he felt extremely hot. I gave him one of the aspirin that Matvey had gotten a few days ago and just put a damp rag on his head, hoping the fever will go down. He will overcome this. I know he had been mumbling something about seeing big brother again, but that is not possible. Unless even in death he is haunting this house. Or it is fever delusions. I do not know. I do think he at least knew I was there. I shamefully admit that I broke down and cried on his sleeping form. I then felt his hand running through my hair and a faint, 'stop crying Nattie….I'll get better soon…as long as you and Katy keep taking care of everything….' And then was a few delusional sounding mentions of big brother. I looked up at him again and he smiled at me. 'Make sure the little kiddos are good. Nikolai is little Ivan and Anya's hero after all…. And the little hero needs someone to help him….'

He had come home sick a few days ago and he's not looking much better. Possibly a little worse. I'm scared for him. He's been better than I could have ever asked for. I know on my own I probably would not be so lucky to have found a man so caring and family oriented like Fredka is. Honestly I would probably still be unmarried to this day if I hadn't met a man so willing to put up with my moods. He's given me 3 beautiful children. I just pray he stays here for a long time.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. I don't have much else to say in this A/N, so remember to read, well you just did, and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.

Anonymous reviews have been disabled. Login to review. 1. Alfred's Journal 447 0 0 2. Natalya's Journal 344 0 0 3. Ivan's Journal 357 0 0 4. Alfred's Journal 2 433 0 0 5. Natalya's Journal 2 384 0 0 6. Ivan's Journal 2 398 0 0 7. Alfred's Journal 3 335 0 0 8. Natalya's Journal 3 357 0 0 9. Ivan's Journal 3 361 0 0 10. Letter to Matthew 473 0 0 11. Letter to Alfred 498 0 0 12. Alfred's Journal 4 393 0 0 13. Natalya's Journal 4 425 0 0 14. Ivan's Journal 4 415 0 0 15. Alfred's Journal 5 409 0 0 16. Natalya's Journal 5 388 0 0 17. Ivan's Journal 5 394 0 0 18. Letter to Matthew 2 548 0 0 19. Letter to Alfred 2 504 0 0 20. Alfred's Journal 6 346 0 0 21. Natalya's Journal 6 459 0 0 22. Ivan's Journal 6 453 0 0 23. Alfred's Journal 7 459 0 0 24. Natalya's Journal 7 570 0 0 25. Ivan's Journal 7 442 0 0 26. Letter to Matthew 3 590 0 0 27. Letter to Alfred 3 452 0 0 28. Alfred's Journal 8 467 0 0 29. Natalya's Journal 8 428 0 0 30. Ivan's Journal 8 470 0 0 31. Alfred's Journal 9 450 0 0 32. Natalya's Journal 9 417 0 0 33. Ivan's Journal 9 455 0 0 34. Letter to Matthew 4 560 0 0 35. Letter to Alfred 4 518 0 0 36. Alfred's Journal 10 500 0 0 37. Natalya's Journal 10 425 0 0 38. Ivan's Journal 10 412 0 0 39. Alfred's Journal 11 393 0 0 40. Natalya's Journal 11 363 0 0 41. Ivan's Journal 11 560 0 0 42. From Lt Col Kirkland 518 0 0 43. Alfred's Journal 12 417 0 0 44. Natalya's Journal 12 415 0 0 45. Ivan's Journal 12 493 0 0 46. Ivan's Journal 13 537 0 0 47. Katyusha's Journal 361 0 0 48. Matthew's Journal 491 0 0 49. Alfred's Journal 13 508 0 0 50. Matthew's Journal 2 442 0 0 51. Alfred's journal 14 480 0 0 52. Ivan's Letter home 455 0 0 53. Alfred's journal 15 497 0 0 54. Natalya's Journal 13 528 0 0 55. Matthew's Journal 3 410 0 0 56. Katyusha's letter to Ivan 614 0 0 57. Ivan's Letter to Katyusha 550 0 0 58. Alfred's Journal 16 484 0 0 59. Natalya's Journal 14 538 0 0 60. Katyusha's journal 2 523 0 0 61. Letter to Ivan 564 0 0 62. Ivan's letter to Alfred 518 0 0 63. Alfred's Journal 17 472 0 0 64. Natalya's Journal 15 515 0 0 65. Matthew's Journal 4 427 0 0 66. Ivan's Journal 14 627 0 0 67. Alfred's Journal 18 344 0 0 68. Letter from Ernest 509 0 0 69. Ivan's Journal 15 353 0 0 70. Alfred's Journal 19 483 0 0 71. Natalya's Journal 16 453 0 0 72. Matthew's Journal 5 558 0 0 73. Katyusha's journal 3 412 0 0 74. Ivan's Journal 16 370 0 0 75. Katyusha's journal 4 487 0 0 76. Alfred's Journal 20 479 0 0 77. Natalya's Journal 17 413 0 0 78. Matthew's journal 6 380 0 0 79. Alfred's Journal 21 439 0 0 80. Natalya's journal 18 463 0 0 81. Katyusha's Journal 5 368 0 0 82. Alfred's Journal 22 451 0 0 83. Natalya's Journal 19 459 0 0 84. Katyusha's journal 6 398 0 0 85. Alfred's Journal 23 478 0 0 86. Natalya's Journal 20 332 0 0 87. Katyusha's Journal 7 491 0 0 88. Natalya's Journal 21 405 0 0 89. Matthew's Journal 7 432 0 0 90. Natalya's Journal 22 486 0 0 91. Alfred's Journal 24 598 0 0 92. Alfred's Journal 25 484 0 0 93. Natalya's Journal 23 422 0 0 94. Matthew's Journal 8 393 0 0 95. Alfred's Journal 26 475 0 0 96. Natalya's Journal 24 472 0 0 97. Katyusha's Journal 8 443 0 0 98. Matthew's Journal 9 533 0 0 99. Alfred's Journal 27 717 0 0 100. Ivan's Journal 17 409 0 0