The Longing of the Heart @otherealmwriter
Matthew's Journal 4

I do not own Hetalia okay? I am thankful for all you who have read and faved and reviewed this so far. I don't have anything else to say so enough of this A/N, on with the fic!

February 14th 1918

(from the diary of Matthew Williams)

Al had arranged a romantic day for Natalya so he sent me over to Katyusha's with the children. She agreed to do so of course, she loves those kids as much as I do. I did give her a bouquet of pink carnations and some chocolates. I did make sure to make sure it was an odd number. Al warned me of the mishap he had giving Natalya a dozen sunflowers when he first dated out Ivan didn't tell him that even numbers of flowers are seen as a death wish and yellow isn't seen to well either. Although I don't think she'd have the same reaction, but the meaning at this time, isn't a good one. Honestly it's not like I am trying to court Katyusha, I just think she shouldn't get something. She's a sweetheart. She's the one who suggested I take up wood carving as a way to help cope with what happened and it seems to be helping, a little maybe. I don't have as many flashbacks but that's mainly when the trolley goes by. It's pretty regular so I know when that is coming and I can tell myself that "no, it is not something to worry about." Things like trucks backfiring, someone lighting off fireworks, things like that when I don't know it is going to happen cause those. I guess that's why I didn't have an issue with the fireworks back on the fourth of July but I was not expecting ones on New Year's so I had a bad flashback then. Back during the war, I swear a barrage came almost at the strike of midnight on the New Year. Some of those krauts can be crafty.

As I put Ivan, Anya and (to much resistance) Nikolai to bed, I have to wonder if I would ever have children of my own because of this. Katyusha says any woman would be lucky to have me. Well thing is she knows me so she sees past the limp and the injury and the depression and the flashbacks. That's also if the shrapnel hasn't hit me in an unfortunate place either. Doctors say it didn't but it got a little too close for my liking. Don't get me wrong, I love Al's kids to death and love being their uncle but I want to make him an uncle too. Katy says to focus one day at a time for now and I guess I'll try that. She's picked up a lot since she did that stint as a nurse in England.

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. Mind you this is just a fluff bridge to some bigger things I have planned. Anyway remember to read, well you just did, and to review. Ciao for now,

otherrealmwriter

aka

Realm.

Anonymous reviews have been disabled. Login to review. 1. Alfred's Journal 447 0 0 2. Natalya's Journal 344 0 0 3. Ivan's Journal 357 0 0 4. Alfred's Journal 2 433 0 0 5. Natalya's Journal 2 384 0 0 6. Ivan's Journal 2 398 0 0 7. Alfred's Journal 3 335 0 0 8. Natalya's Journal 3 357 0 0 9. Ivan's Journal 3 361 0 0 10. Letter to Matthew 473 0 0 11. Letter to Alfred 498 0 0 12. Alfred's Journal 4 393 0 0 13. Natalya's Journal 4 425 0 0 14. Ivan's Journal 4 415 0 0 15. Alfred's Journal 5 409 0 0 16. Natalya's Journal 5 388 0 0 17. Ivan's Journal 5 394 0 0 18. Letter to Matthew 2 548 0 0 19. Letter to Alfred 2 504 0 0 20. Alfred's Journal 6 346 0 0 21. Natalya's Journal 6 459 0 0 22. Ivan's Journal 6 453 0 0 23. Alfred's Journal 7 459 0 0 24. Natalya's Journal 7 570 0 0 25. Ivan's Journal 7 442 0 0 26. Letter to Matthew 3 590 0 0 27. Letter to Alfred 3 452 0 0 28. Alfred's Journal 8 467 0 0 29. Natalya's Journal 8 428 0 0 30. Ivan's Journal 8 470 0 0 31. Alfred's Journal 9 450 0 0 32. Natalya's Journal 9 417 0 0 33. Ivan's Journal 9 455 0 0 34. Letter to Matthew 4 560 0 0 35. Letter to Alfred 4 518 0 0 36. Alfred's Journal 10 500 0 0 37. Natalya's Journal 10 425 0 0 38. Ivan's Journal 10 412 0 0 39. Alfred's Journal 11 393 0 0 40. Natalya's Journal 11 363 0 0 41. Ivan's Journal 11 560 0 0 42. From Lt Col Kirkland 518 0 0 43. Alfred's Journal 12 417 0 0 44. Natalya's Journal 12 415 0 0 45. Ivan's Journal 12 493 0 0 46. Ivan's Journal 13 537 0 0 47. Katyusha's Journal 361 0 0 48. Matthew's Journal 491 0 0 49. Alfred's Journal 13 508 0 0 50. Matthew's Journal 2 442 0 0 51. Alfred's journal 14 480 0 0 52. Ivan's Letter home 455 0 0 53. Alfred's journal 15 497 0 0 54. Natalya's Journal 13 528 0 0 55. Matthew's Journal 3 410 0 0 56. Katyusha's letter to Ivan 614 0 0 57. Ivan's Letter to Katyusha 550 0 0 58. Alfred's Journal 16 484 0 0 59. Natalya's Journal 14 538 0 0 60. Katyusha's journal 2 523 0 0 61. Letter to Ivan 564 0 0 62. Ivan's letter to Alfred 518 0 0 63. Alfred's Journal 17 472 0 0 64. Natalya's Journal 15 515 0 0 65. Matthew's Journal 4 427 0 0 66. Ivan's Journal 14 627 0 0 67. Alfred's Journal 18 344 0 0 68. Letter from Ernest 509 0 0 69. Ivan's Journal 15 353 0 0 70. Alfred's Journal 19 483 0 0 71. Natalya's Journal 16 453 0 0 72. Matthew's Journal 5 558 0 0 73. Katyusha's journal 3 412 0 0 74. Ivan's Journal 16 370 0 0 75. Katyusha's journal 4 487 0 0 76. Alfred's Journal 20 479 0 0 77. Natalya's Journal 17 413 0 0 78. Matthew's journal 6 380 0 0 79. Alfred's Journal 21 439 0 0 80. Natalya's journal 18 463 0 0 81. Katyusha's Journal 5 368 0 0 82. Alfred's Journal 22 451 0 0 83. Natalya's Journal 19 459 0 0 84. Katyusha's journal 6 398 0 0 85. Alfred's Journal 23 478 0 0 86. Natalya's Journal 20 332 0 0 87. Katyusha's Journal 7 491 0 0 88. Natalya's Journal 21 405 0 0 89. Matthew's Journal 7 432 0 0 90. Natalya's Journal 22 486 0 0 91. Alfred's Journal 24 598 0 0 92. Alfred's Journal 25 484 0 0 93. Natalya's Journal 23 422 0 0 94. Matthew's Journal 8 393 0 0 95. Alfred's Journal 26 475 0 0 96. Natalya's Journal 24 472 0 0 97. Katyusha's Journal 8 443 0 0 98. Matthew's Journal 9 533 0 0 99. Alfred's Journal 27 717 0 0 100. Ivan's Journal 17 409 0 0