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A Dream Deferred @otherealmwriter
Chapter 18

I do not own Hetalia okay? I know it's been awhile since I updated this one, but I'll be honest, the inspiration comes more on Family Bonds and My Wife's Brother than this one sadly. Do not think I abandoned it, sometimes it takes a while for me to get the ideas going.

Lien sighed as she watched the trashy talk show sipping cheap coffee. It wasn't bad for the price, but this was the reality of her former bandmates. This was the best they could do with the path they had chosen. But the opportunity was there, an offer to try and get what they had back. Even if it was a long shot, it was something. Something they could try for. Just to make that old dream come true. Do I want to? Lien thought as she saw a woman run off the stage with the talk show host comforting her as the man, she thought was her baby's father did cartwheels and backflips on the stage. "No way this is real. Come on, people can't be that way…." She said.

"Oh Lien." Roderich said as he came out of one of the bedrooms. "I didn't know you were staying the night." He apologized. "I take it Lukas left for his interview, didn't he?"

"I assume so." Lien sighed. She looked wistfully at the corner of the room where the paddle she had found on the beach one morning was kept. It was an implement of destruction last time it was here and now, the room seemed bare without it, which was now hanging above her bed in her auntie's house. "But it's like he said, honest work and he can play as a hobby. He won't give it up entirely…."

"Honest work." Roderich said. "That's always good…." It was tense. Lien did not have very good feelings towards Roderich. She blamed him for the band breaking up. She blamed him for running Alfred off. It was a nasty fight that resulted in a black eye for Roderich and a broken coffee table that despite their frugal living, which had rescued the old relic from a dumpster, sent it back to once it came when Christensen could not find a way to fix it. What was left in its stead was a glass and brass disaster that Lukas was able to get from the thrift store. It was like something from the early 90s. Looking from the television to Lien who had a stiff look on her face that was telling him it was taking all her efforts to be polite. "I heard they pay well down at the docks."

"I wouldn't know." Lien said trying to keep her voice neutral.

The air was filled with tension as the joyful music of The Price is Right came on. "Huh 11 already…. I must have fell back asleep."

"I guess it was a longer night last night than I thought at the studio." Roderich said. "Was asked to help perform some of the music for this independent film that's going to be at Sundance Film Festival next year…."

"That's nice." Lien sighed. "I think I'll make me some cup noodles or something. Seems to be a lot of that in this house."

"They're filling and cheap." Roderich said. "I just ask you don't eat one of the black teriyaki flavored ones, saving it for dinner."

"I won't." She said as she pulled a small shrimp flavored one out of the cupboard after considering being a jerk and eating it anyway knowing how much the fight that Roderich had started shook things up for her and deciding against it, poured water into the kettle and began to heat it up. She looked at the Styrofoam cup waiting the water and started crying. The memories of the few lunches she and Alfred had together between all of their jobs flooded back. And the hopeful chance that she might see him again, she might be able to tell him how he felt, and they could rock out like they used to again conflicted with the grim realities she had to face. Alfred lived thousands of miles away now and was in love with someone else and seemed really dedicated to his new pursuit. At this, her phone buzzed showing a text from her auntie. "Hoa song, how is it with your old friends? Wanted to let you know that Yao's nephew Li is in town during his winter break from Stanford. You really should talk to him. Might do you some good. Yêu em cháu gái thân yêu của tôi" She read to herself. "God, Auntie, please…." She sighed as the kettle whistled. Her aunt may have said she never had feelings for Yao, and he was nothing but a rival Asian restaurant, but she knew there was something behind her trying to hook Lien up with Li, even though she had no interest in him. He was 19 and she was 26, the age difference was not unreasonable, but he seemed like nothing but a punk kid in her mind. It did not matter to her whatever accolades he had gotten from an Ivy League school, he still seemed like a teenage kid who would go back to the other high schoolers bragging about how he had made out with an older chick. She pulled out a pair of chopsticks and headed into the living room to watch the contestants spin the wheel.

Roderich looked from Lien, slurping the noodles with annoyance. He looked at the glass coffee table with trepidation, the pain in his back from when Alfred had thrown him into the old coffee table coming back at the memory of how he had underestimated Alfred's strength flooding back and if he had said the wrong thing, Lien would not beat half the band with a large paddle she found on the beach but throw him into a glass table that would result in a bad trip to the hospital to stop the bleeding. But the apartment was too tense with Christensen and Lukas out which one of them would have tried to break the tension either with humor or just cold logic. "Lien I am sorry." He sighed.

"I'm sorry?" Lien asked genuinely.

"I'm sorry for the band breaking up. Sorry for anything I may have said that offended you and Alfred. Things have not been the same since. Maybe Lukas was right that you two were the soul of the band. I would be foolish to think you would forgive me. All I ask is you don't throw me into the coffee table…."

"Hadn't thought about it…." Lien said. "But thank you for apologizing. I fear that it may be too late." Roderich looked down. "Who knows, if you grew your hair out and worked out a little, way you work the violin you could be a real-life Lestat look alike, some sort of Stuart Townsend wannabe that can join a goth band in the area and because you know the tricks and have some connections in the industry you may get the chance again."

Roderich rolled his eyes. "I apricate the attempt to cheer me up but I doubt I could ever get the abs and pecs he had in Queen of the Damned. The amount of time I'd have to dedicate to the gym wouldn't be possible with my schedule." Lien looked at him skeptically. "Fine! I would be just too embarrassed to. Please do not nag me into it! I am not as athletic as Alfred was." At this Lien started sobbing. "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" he panicked.

"No, no, I should start trying to think like that." Lien said. "Alfred found another, and I doubt he would give him up for someone he saw as a sister anyway."

"Well, if you think I can become some sort of goth emo punk teenage girl fantasy with some effort, then who knows, he may reciprocate your feelings one day." Roderich said. "I mean both are a very remote possibility."

"You almost had a good sympathetic sentiment you asshole." Lien sassed. "Don't worry, it wasn't shoved you through the glass coffee table worthy."

"Thank you." Roderich said as the Showcase Showdown showed that both contestants were overbid, and the infamous losing horn played. "Do I feel that sentiment now…." He sighed as the credits rolled and the local news theme began to play.

"Same." Lien said. "Maybe I should just hook up with Li like my auntie wants."

"Who?" Roderich asked.

"Nephew of her business rival/old lady crush." She sighed.

"Look, who knows what will happen. Maybe we shouldn't settle. Maybe we can pick things up and at least be happy. Be comfortable. Maybe not be stars like we hoped but be happy." Roderich sighed.

"Well, I will let you guys know I got the job. Well once I pass my physical and drug test, but that won't be an issue." Lukas said as he came back into the house. "That comes back good then I will have a good paying union job with health insurance and the works. Won't have to worry about a thing."

"Great." Lien said as she got up, placing the empty cup of noodles down. "Look I need to get some air. I'm going for a walk."

"Okay." Lukas said, not quite sure what to say.

As Lien shut the door behind her, Roderich looked at Lukas, "You think I could get some muscle if I tried?" Lukas laughed. "Okay I'll pay for a year's gym membership and if I get some results, then you will have to pay me back."

"Sure, thing stick boy." Lukas smirked.

"Don't think I can do it?" Roderich said.

"Didn't say that." Lukas said. "I KNOW you can't do it. I don't gamble."

"Go fuck yourself." Roderich sighed. "I'll prove you wrong!"

"Sure, you will…." Lukas laughed.

It was the day before Ivan had to head back to Russia and Alfred would not leave his side at all. They had agreed they would try to make long distance work. Alfred loved Ivan too much and Ivan couldn't bear to give Alfred up. No matter the distance. He had kept talking with his boss about when they did expand operations to America that he be transferred to help start things up from the head offices and Alfred was constantly going over Russian in hopes that he would leave a better impression and maybe be hired on on Ivan's company back in Russia. The only thing they agreed on is that they wanted to be on the same continent sooner than later. However, the offer that some of Alfred's old bandmates told him about was still nagging in Ivan's mind. He could not deny that it was tempting. And Alfred had a voice he had loved. A small part of him hoped Alfred would take it and not forget him so he could say he had a famous rockstar for a lover despite the impracticality of it and there was also the factor of Lien. He didn't know why he felt so jealous of a woman Alfred only saw as a friend or sister, but he thought she had more interest in him than just friends. Is that my jealousy talking? If I had my way, I would take Alfred back with me, and make him mine forever and he would never leave my side and I would treat him like the prince he is. Ivan thought as Alfred lay on top of him staring at him. Alfred had picked up on some concern and kissed him. "Something wrong Vanya?" He asked.

"Nyet…." Ivan said.

"Other than the 7 freaking hours that will separate us." Alfred said.

"Obviously." Ivan agreed as Alfred nuzzled up to him.

"Look Vanya, I am not going to go chasing that waterfall. I learned my lesson." Alfred said as he stared into Ivan's eyes God those freaking lavender pools. I could get lost in them forever He thought with a smile. "Besides, I talked to Mattie for advice, and he told me that there'd be a lot of hard feelings that might sabotage a lot. I don't want my art done that way again. It happened once because of poor management, I am not going to let Roderich's pettiness or commercial greed ruin what I want to say."

"And Lien?" Ivan whispered so quietly that Alfred could hardly hear him.

"What of her?" Alfred asked. "She's a friend. I only ever saw her as such. Don't worry. Are you afraid I might leave you for her?" Alfred said teasingly only to find there was a blush and nod as Ivan buried his face in his scarf. "You really think that?" Ivan nodded.

"Listen Vanya," Alfred said as he kissed Ivan. "It's you that I want. You are the one who saw what I had in my heart more than anyone ever did. You care about me." He said kissing him again, holding tighter onto him. "You showed me a way to pick up after what I thought was a waste of a life. That my dream denied became a dream deferred and just a little different than what I thought it would be when I came back." His heart raced with excitement. "And I could never hope to repay you." He said as he took off his shirt and nibbled on Ivan's ear. "My heart belongs to you."

"As does mine." Ivan said as he sat up and kissed Alfred back, sticking his tongue in his mouth. "Be mine forever."

"Forever." Alfred whispered. "I want to spend every second with you."

"As do I." Ivan said as he took off his coat and turned Alfred over so that he was on top of him. "And I want to make some memories that will last forever until I see you again."

"Then let's do it." Alfred said as he reached up and put his hands on Ivan's waist. "This day is ours. I want to leave you with my taste in your mouth, your taste on mine, so much that I smell you for days afterwards."

"Stop teasing me with your words." Ivan said.

"I can tease you with another way…." Alfred said sitting up, unzipping Ivan's pants.

"God…" Ivan said as Alfred's phone started to ring. Ivan declined the call, not even looking who it was from, and if it was from Lien, this would be a way for him to subconsciously tell her that Alfred was his and she had missed her chance. He knew in that moment they were going to make this work and that eventually he would turn over each morning and see his golden blonde hair and wake up to him carrying his name. Nothing else mattered in Ivan's heart and mind than making Alfred happy and his for the rest of their lives.

"Well, that sucks…" Lien sighed as she sat down on her bed in her aunt's house in Bakersfield.

"What sucks?" Her auntie asked.

"I was trying to call Alfred, but he just hung up on me. It's a decent hour where his." Lien said.

"What were you trying to call him about?" Her aunt asked.

"Oh, let him know about Lukas's new job." Lien said.

"And?" She prompted.

"And maybe talk him into joining us again?" Lien said.


"Because I miss him?" Lien said.

"You do but you also love him and can't let that go. He has found someone else and as painful as it is to think that you need to as well. He only sees you as a sister, a friend." She urged. Last thing she wanted was for her niece to fall to pieces pining over a lost love. It was obvious to her that from what Lien had said about Alfred, he had moved on and found someone he had loved. Lien was doing great in school and in helping her run her business. "Call Li. You really need to make some new friends. You might like him." She saw Lien roll her eyes.

"Auntie, he's 19." She pleaded.

"And you are 26. You're not getting any younger. I let you stay because I thought you wanted to build your life back from that shattered foolish dream. I never said it before because you did do well but I knew you were strong and would find something to replace it. I thought you had. Now you are letting your heart get the best of you and you cannot accept the truth. Even if your band gets together, Alfred has another. I doubt he would ever feel the same way. The sooner you deal with that, the better. Try calling Li."

"Fine." Lien sighed. "I will be the judge of how respectable he is myself."

"That's all I ask." Lien's aunt smiled.

Translation Guide

(Obtained via Google Translate)

hoa song-Vietnamese-river flower

Yêu em cháu gái thân yêu của tôi-Vietnamese-Love you my dear little niece

So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Let me know in a review. I know that it was a while since I updated but I will try to do better but life and inspiration are tough things to work around. I don't have much else to say so remember to read (well you just did) and review. Ciao for now,




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