This chapter was going to be obscenely long. I had it in my brain that I was going to cover a year's worth of time in one go, like all the other serious fic writers do, but I can't~. ｡･ﾟﾟ*(д)*ﾟﾟ･｡ I am a weak woman. I couldn't bring myself to do it! I'm sorry! You get a double update instead. I had so many notes already written for the whole thing, but now that info has to be redistributed. Why did I do this to myself? I should have just posted it in pieces in the first place.

Satan was dead.

She'd watched the blood pour from his throat, the light fade from his eyes, the slow fall of his face into the mud, capturing every detail with the sharingan he'd given her.

It was glorious. Wondrous, even. It was like everything wrong with the world was suddenly right, a blight on the universe vanquished, the Demon King slain. Did that make Tobirama the hero? He certainly had the coloring for it, if shoujo mangas were anything to go by. They really liked the whole 'white=purity=good' trope. Hrm.

"Ah, fuck," Kyou hissed under her breath, rubbing at her itching eyes with the heels of her palms. They hadn't stopped burning since the battle's end, stinging like chlorine and sunscreen in another life. She kept blinking, hoping she'd just got something in them and it wasn't what her brain was telling her it was. She refused, thank you very much. Ah, but they just wouldn't. stop. Itching.

Large hands pulled hers away from her face and she looked up, startled, at Tajima. Her uncle's expression was grim—even more so than usual—the frown lines cradling the downturned corners of his mouth deeper than she'd ever seen them. He was looking straight into her eyes, his sharingan active as he held her gaze. His hands came up to cup her face, thumbs rubbing at something warm and wet as his expression changed to one she'd only seen him direct at Madara. She valiantly resisted the urge to pull her head out of his grasp, tamping the rising panic in her chest down to manageable levels.

"I'm sorry, Kyou," her Clan head said softly. "You shouldn't have had to see that."

No. She should have. It was awesome. The only downside was having to tell baa-chan. She was not looking forward to that, at all.

Her eyes stung even more as Tajima stepped away, looking at blood on his hands that had definitely not been there before he touched her. Had Satan's blood splattered onto her? She didn't remember, but she was pretty preoccupied with memorizing his death throes. Hmm, she should probably clean up before going to see baa-chan. Losing her son was bad enough, but seeing his blood on her grandchild was worse than necessary.

"Kyou," Tajima said, pulling her from her musings. It was weird. Her uncle never spoke to her longer than necessary, always saying his piece and moving on. That…might have been Satan's fault though. With him gone—fuck yeah!—her position in the Clan was a lot less stable. She was inclined to think of this as a good thing, since she might finally be able to live her life in peace. "How do your eyes feel?"

Itchy as fuck. "They're fine, Tajima-sama."

He didn't look convinced, one thick brow rising. "Are you sure? This is important, Kyou. You need to be honest with me."

Fuck. Shit. Son of a bitch.

"They itch," she heard herself say as the reality she'd been denying the entire way home slapped her in the face. "Really bad."

Tajima nodded, the bastard. Fuck. So much for a normal life. No. Her eyes just had to fucking level up. God fucking damn! Jesus, Mary, and Joseph! The entire heavenly fucking host! Gah! She didn't even like Satan. She was a good girl! Devil worshipping was a no-no! How the fuck did he know, anyway? It wasn't like she was suddenly swallowing people whole or spitting out black fire! All her eyes did was itch! Was that a power? It fucking sucked!

Oblivious to her internal screaming, Tajima placed a hand on her head, smoothing the mussed hair into a semblance of neatness. It was…oddly paternal? Especially coming from the guy who benefitted most from her father's death—aside from her, of course. She carefully kept her face neutral, a skill she'd developed early on and which received daily reinforcement. Although, with Satan dead she could probably get away with more shit…

"There will be a council meeting once we return," his tone was grave, instilling even greater fear in Kyou's bones. "You will be present."

Yeah, no. "Can it be tomorrow?" She did her best puppy eyes, long honed by use on Madara. "I still need to tell baa-chan."

He winced, clearly having forgotten about his aunty. Rude. "Yes, of course, Kyou. I will arrange it."

She bowed a little in thanks, hoping the presumption of grief would let her off the hook for the disrespect. It did—or something did—and Tajima finally left her alone, running up to take his place at the front of the pack. Kyou was normally up front, too, tucked into Satan's side like a burr. Without him, she was free to take her preferred spot, alone at the back where her asshole cousins were more than happy to leave her.

Madara, unfortunately, was not an asshole.

"I'm sorry, Kyou," he said softly, draping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her in for a one-sided hug. She accepted the affection easily, glad again for Satan's timely demise. She didn't have to reject her family—those who liked her, anyway. Maybe, she might actually be able to make some friends!

Nah.

"It's fine," she said, making sure to keep her smile dim as she rubbed at her eyes again. "I'm just worried about baa-chan." A jolt ran through her as a horrifying realization pulled the high out from under her. "And my mom! Without Satan, I'm the only one getting rations in our house! That's not enough to feed her!" She turned panic widened eyes up at her cousin—he wasn't very much taller than her, was he and dammit that wasn't important! "What do I do?"

The look of anguish on his freckled face told her she had asked the wrong person. Shit. She forgot it was his bitch mother who insisted on starving her out.

"Never mind," she said hastily, pulling away from his embrace and immediately shivering from the loss of his closeness. "Don't worry about it. I'll figure it out."

"Kyou—."

She dashed away from him, chakra boosting her speed until she was beside Izuna. He wasn't taller than her, a fact he hated and refused to acknowledge. It wasn't her fault her mom was taller than everyone else in the Clan.

Her mom.

She let her shoulders slump, just a little. It was enough to catch her less sensitive cousin's attention, though. He slapped her back with a crooked smile.

"Cheer up, Kyou! You don't have to worry about training with broken ribs anymore!"

Yeah. That's right! Satan was dead! This was a joyous occasion! Leave it to Izuna to remind her of the whole reason she was happy enough to feel whiplash in the first place.

She smiled at him, a full, gap toothed grin. "Thanks, Zuzu!"

He scowled at the old nickname and she listened with one ear as he launched the customary litany of complaints. He hadn't minded all that much until he started noticing girls, though. Ah, puberty. She was not looking forward to her turn.

It would certainly make hiding her sex harder. And she was going to keep hiding it. As much as she hated fighting—an opinion that remained despite her dropping sensitivity to it—it was better than being groomed to be the perfect little wife. And a million times better than being groomed to be Madara's perfect little wife. That's who she'd be married to, of course. The two branches of the main family would finally be one.

Until Izuna had kids or something, of course. Then, five or six generations down the line, there'd be another Satan vying for the position, never mind that Izuna had never begrudged his brother his position as heir.

Whatever, it didn't matter because she wasn't gonna marry Madara. He was the older brother she never wanted. The only brother she wanted was an hour younger and eight years deader.

The gates of the village came into view and she left Izuna behind, the boy not even pausing in his rant. Satan's bloody corpse was being carried by one of his friends and she tugged at his clothing to get his attention.

"I'm gonna go tell baa-chan," she said when he turned weary dark eyes on her, barely resisting the urge to scratch at her own. "Please don't bring him in until I do."

He nodded solemnly, adjusting her father's weight on his back. She felt a little bad, then. Satan wasn't completely unloved by the people in his life, just by her. If this guy, little more than a random acquaintance, looked so sad, then baa-chan.

She wasn't looking forward to it, at all.

She rushed ahead of the group, ignoring the people waiting for their family members as she headed toward the glorified one room shack which had housed her for her whole life. Her grandmother was always there, waiting for her and Satan to come home. She would probably be cooking something, donating her own scant rations to provide enough for everyone in their little family. Kyou paused in front of the door, hand poised to knock. Shit. She'd forgotten to wash her face. She had no idea if the blood Tajima had wiped away was Satan's or not, but it was a bad look, regardless.

"Don't touch me!" Kyou froze at the sound of an unfamiliar voice in her home. "Stay away!"

There was the sound of something breaking and Kyou shoved the door open with more force than necessary, hurtling through the doorway.

"Baa-chan," she exclaimed, searching the old woman for injuries where she stood beside the one bed. "What's going on?"

Her grandmother didn't answer. She didn't need to. Kyou's sharingan eyes darted from her to her mother, halting there as she struggled to understand what she was seeing. Her mother's face, which had worn no expression but empty calm for as long as she could remember, was warped with rage, dark brows furrowed over a snarl with scrunched up her long, hooked nose, baring straight somewhat yellowed teeth in the most base display of anger a human could make.

Kyou felt her eyes return to their dormant state, the tension leaving her body in a weakening flood. "Kaa…chan…?"

The woman turned her brown eyes onto her daughter, expression softening fractionally. Kyou didn't wait for a response, a smile spreading across her face of its own accord as joy buoyed up from her center and filled her to brim, threatening to spill out from her every pore.

"Kaa-chan!" She launched herself into the bed, wrapping her arms around the frail woman's waist. "Oh my god, kaa-chan! You're awake! You're ok! I can't believe it! How—?" She cut herself off. Oh, she knew exactly how. "That snake! I knew it! I knew he did something to you! And now that he's dead you're—!" She shut her mouth so hard her teeth clacked. That…was not how she was supposed to say that.

She hesitated before turning to look over her shoulder at her grandmother. The old woman's aged face was sadder than Kyou had ever seen it, tears welling up in her rheumy eyes, but she didn't look surprised. Sure, with her mother awake, it wasn't hard to guess—wait.

She pulled away from her mother, sitting up on the bed so she was eye to eye with her grandmother. "Baa-chan, did you know? Did-did you know he did this to her?"

The elder Uchiha closed her eyes, a single tear rolling down her face and getting lost in the wrinkles. Her lack of response was answer enough.

"You didn't stop him?" Kyou asked, incredulous. "You're the only person who could get that demon to do anything, and you didn't think, even once, that maybe enslaving his wife was a bad idea?"

Her grandmother said nothing again, but she did turn away. She stepped away from the bed, bending to pick up the shattered remains of a ceramic bowl, bits of rice porridge dripping into the floor. Kyou felt guilt rising in her for hurting the only person who loved her like they should, but she squashed it down in favor of fanning the flames of her outrage. She turned away from the old woman, looking into her mother's sunken face. She was looking down at Kyou with wide eyes, thin lips parted in surprise.

"Are you ok, kaa-chan?" Kyou reached out with a hand only to pull it back, suddenly aware of how dirty she was, covered in mud, blood, and random bits of grass. "Ah, I'm sorry. I-I'll go get clean!" There was no saving the sheets. She would have to change those soon or Satan would be—.

Nothing. Satan was dead. He couldn't do anything.

The sheets would stay dirty! Hah!

"Kyou."

She looked up at her mother, brain short-circuiting. That was the first time she'd ever said her name.

That smile split Kyou's face again. "Yes, kaa-chan?"

A terrifyingly slender hand reached out to her, fingers so bony and angular they looked more like talons. Arm shaking with the effort of moving on her own for the first time in who knew how long, she placed her hand on Kyou's head, mussing the straight black hair so like her own. Long nails, scraped gently against her scalp and Kyou was absolutely certain her face would split in half from the width of her smile.

"Kyou," her mother said again, voice soft and hoarse from disuse. There was a light in her eyes, something Kyou couldn't name giving her expression a somewhat manic look. "You're real."

Oh. Oh. Had Satan…put her in a genjustu? Kyou didn't know very many, but she knew her father had been considered a true master of the art—for all she never saw him them outside of training. What must that have been like?

"Yeah," she said, a new hatred for her father taking root in her heart. "I'm real."

"I thought," her mother cut herself off, sniffing loudly as tears spilled from her eyes. "I thought you were a dream. Every time you spoke to me, I thought he—."

Kyou bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. "You heard me?" She'd never been sure if she was wasting her breath given her mother's inability to respond. She was glad, now, that she'd never listened to that voice which told her it was pointless.

"I did." Her hand slipped from the top of Kyou's head, the strength gone from her arm. "I heard you."

Warmth spread through Kyou as she took her mother's hand in hers, the feeling of her bones just beneath the skin reminding her of all the suffering they'd endured together, even if they weren't really aware of it.

Her mother's eyes were beginning to dim and Kyou gently placed her hand down on her lap before standing. "You should rest," she said seriously. "Your stamina is gonna be low until you regain your strength. Don't worry," she held out her thumb in an echo—premonition?—of a legendary Green Beast. "I'll take care of you!"

Her mother lay back in the bed she'd shared with her daughter and monstrous husband. That was a terror neither of them would ever have to live through, again. Her eyes closed and Kyou listened as her breathing evened out. As soon as she was sure she was asleep, Kyou heaved a massive sigh.

Her day had been…something. A rollercoaster for sure. So many highs and lows messing with her brain, it was hard to decide just how she actually felt. She turned around and saw two bowls of plain rice porridge on the stone edge of the small, sunken hearth, the coals already dying. She hadn't even noticed her grandmother leaving.

Again, she felt bad for how she'd treated the old woman, but she couldn't bring herself to abandon her anger, either. She knew her grandmother loved her, that Satan was a horrible man who wouldn't hesitate to hurt even his mother in his pursuit of power. Still, was it too much to ask for just a token resistance? Just a little bit, like when she taught Kyou flower arranging under the guise of helping her get over her aversion to Tobirama—which was entirely too successful, in her opinion; the brat was not as cute as her brain was trying to convince her he was, she refused to accept it. Her grandmother had subverted her father's authority in other ways, too, teaching her embroidery while pretending it was just mending socks and similar 'feminin' skills. If she could do that much for Kyou, then why did she do nothing for her mother?

Maybe she had, Kyou mused as she removed her armor, struggling with some of the harder knots without her father's help. Maybe she did something, but Kyou hadn't been born yet. Maybe, Satan had hurt her for trying.

She'd let her emotions get the best of her and she'd hurt her baa-chan because of it. Shit. She'd have to say sorry.

Tossing her sandals aside in a messy heap Satan never would have tolerated, she stripped down to her loin cloth and pulled on a new(ish) kimono. This one was one of Madara's, since Izuna's no longer fit her. She crawled under the threadbare blanket, leaving her bloody clothing and armor strewn about the one room in a way that likely had Satan's ghost frothing in rage. She took that petty joy and held it close to her heart as she snuggled in close to her mother as she did every night, this time secure in the knowledge that maybe, just maybe, she'd get snuggled back.

The next morning, Kyou woke up cold. She shivered, curling in on herself as she sought Satan's warmth. She reached out with a hand only to find empty space and cursed the man for leaving without waking her up. At least, if she was awake, she was moving and the cold left her quicker. She rolled over, burrowing into her mother's side, instead. She'd see how Satan liked it when she was still in bed when he came back!

Her mother's body moved away from her, leaving her bereft.

What. Kyou opened her eyes, the light from the one window filtering through the blanket blinding her before her eyes adjusted. It wasn't time for baa-chan to feed her mother, yet, was it? If it was, Satan had let her sleep in a really long time. Was there something going on? He didn't normally let her miss out on training, though.

She sat up, the blanket pooling around her as she rubbed at her itchy eyes, dry blood flaking off her skin. She yawned, long and loud.

"Good morning, Kyou."

Yawn ruined, she stared wide eyed at her mother, the tall, slender woman moving to stand on her own.

Oh, yeah!

All the joy of last night's discovery—and Satan's wondrous departure to the afterlife—came rushing back to her. "Kaa-chan!"

Her mother spared her a smile as she struggled to her feet using the wall for support. She was so, so thin. It was painful to watch her, but Kyou was still overjoyed to see her moving. She jumped out of bed, tripping over a discarded pauldron. Ah, so that was why Satan was so anal about cleaning up. Whoops.

Kyou righted herself quickly, flipping her long hair out of her face as she ran over to the hearth. Last night's porridge was still there, and she scowled. She really should have cleaned. She picked up the two crusty bowls and set them aside for later. Sitting on a hook over the cold ashes was an entire pot of the stuff, but it was still good. It just needed to be reheated. Kyou pulled out two smallish logs from the pitiful pile of firewood beside the door. She would have to cut some more, soon. The fire was easy to get going, and she turned to her mother with a wide smile. The woman had made her way to the foot of the bed, sitting there as she often did when Kyou or her grandmother did her hair. She was watching her daughter, that inscrutable look in her eyes again. She seemed to notice Kyou was waiting for something, because she smiled.

"Well, done, Kyou."

Ah, that praise sent another flush of warmth through her. She dug up another cleanish bowl, ladling gloopy, lukewarm porridge into it. She pulled a spoon from last night's serving and presented it to her mother.

"Here! You need to eat so you can get strong!"

She pressed the bowl into shaky hands. It was a little strange. Her mother never had such difficulty while under Satan's control. She was able to walk and eat on her own just fine despite the state of her body. Had the jutsu given her extra strength? Or was doing it on her own harder?

A knock on the door broke her from her musings. She bounced to her feet and peeked out the window and blanched at who she saw there.

"I might have to go," she told her mother sadly. "But I'll come back! I promise!"

Her mother said nothing, only watched with dark eyes as she opened the door on a grim faced Tajima.

"Kyou," her uncle said. "The council is meeting, now. You need to be there." He looked up, eyes widening in surprise at the sight of her mother. "Hitomi-san. You're…awake?"

Kyou turned around to look at her mother, taking in the sour expression twisting her face. "Tajima-sama. It has been too long."

Her mother's voice was soft, barely even audible, but Tajima looked very uncomfortable. He actually looked away, shifting his weight like Madara sometimes did. "Yes. It…has… Kyou has been summoned to a council meeting. I will…bring him back…?"

Her mother stared hard at Tajima, her expression still warped by distaste. She let him squirm for a solid moment before nodding.

"Of course, Tajima-sama."

Kyou waved to her mother, the movement decidedly too happy, if the look her uncle gave her was any indication.

Right. Her father was dead. She watched it happen. She was supposed to be sad.

Oops.

The council hall was filled with all the elders, the old geezers sitting on their cushions like they were thrones. The looks on their faces set up a clear division between them, an even split of smiles and frowns worn by those who supported her position as Clan heir and those who opposed it, respectively. Junsuke-jii-sama looked a little conflicted, though he smiled when he saw her.

"Elders," Tajima began, kneeling before them even as he motioned for Kyou to remain standing. "I trust you all received my message."

One of the elders sniffed, squinting down a crooked nose at Kyou. "Indeed. If what you say is true, Tajima-kun, we will be left with few options. You realize this, yes?"

Her uncle bowed his head, a rare sight. "I do. Kyou," he turned to her with the most serious expression she'd ever seen him wear. "Please, activate your sharingan."

Oh. Oh. So, that's what he was after. Kyou did as she was told, the persistent itching in her eyes escalating to outright pain. She hissed, rubbing at them with closed fists. It was like a thousand needles were being stabbed into her eyes, even from within her skull. Her optic nerve was burning, eating holes out of her brain.

Large hands took hold of her head, indistinct voices raising all around her. She couldn't understand what they were saying, the pain in her face occupying every functional neuron, the numbers of which were dropping by the second. Her brain was turning to liquid. Had to be. She could feel it spilling out her eyes and ears and nose and mouth and—.

"Kyou! Can you hear me? Kyou?"

Blood. Blood on snow. Blood on the hearth. Blood she spilled, dripping from her blade. Blood splattered on the walls, a stain that still hasn't come out. Blood on her hands, dripping onto tatami mats. Blood on Tobirama's armor, redder than his eyes. A baby crying, voice cut short. Her name, a breathy gurgle spat from dying lips.

Too much. It was too much. Every horrible thing her sharingan had ever recorded was playing in perfect clarity, layering on top of each other in a riotous cacophony which made set her brain on fire from having to process it all. No. Nonononononononono. She specifically did everything she could not to dwell on those memories. The last time she let them overtake her she'd nearly killed Izuna. She had to stop it! What was it grandmother said? Breathe and count? How could she count when she couldn't remember the numbers?

In a single moment, it wasn't an issue anymore. Well, it was, but it was a distant one. The panic and fear that had risen up with the 10k HD memories that were still playing in her mind were still there, just…behind a wall. A two-way mirror, maybe? They were present, but no longer had the power to interrupt her thoughts. She could count, the numbers spilling from her lips as she forced her breathing into a set pattern. Vaguely, she was aware something was different. The memories she so painstakingly tamped down into oblivion were playing right before her eyes and…she wasn't freaking out? Ok, she was, but she wasn't. She was untethered from the fear and revulsion those memories always inspired, the emotions rolling off her figurative back like equally figurative raindrops. She was watching it all unfold with a calm she'd never ever ever ever managed to achieve, background processes always keeping her mind busy even as she tried her hardest to concentrate. Of all the afflictions to survive being isekaid, it just had to be her ADHD.

That wasn't an issue, now. She was aware of the people crowding her, of her uncle's hands trying to pull hers away from her face, but she couldn't bring herself to feel the anger she knew it would otherwise inspire. She just…let them do it. She had no reason not to, after all. Why not let them look at her face as she looked at her hands and the blood dripping from them and that wasn't there before, how strange—.

"Kyou." She looked up at her uncle, the concerned look on his face sparking distant, almost imperceptible confusion. "Kyou, I need you to deactivate your sharingan. Can you do that for me?"

Well, of course she could. An odd question, to be sure, but she couldn't find it in her to acknowledge the reaction she could feel just beyond her sphere of awareness. Her chakra rose as she commanded it, filling the space behind her eyes and—.

Pinche mierda!

The forcefield keeping her emotions at bay shattered, the entire jumbled mess flooding into her consciousness and out every orifice in her head, her right eye pulsing with unnatural heat. Tears welled up and stung both her eyes, washing away the blood that had gathered there as she cried. It was kind of embarrassing, really. All her life, she'd done everything in her meager power to avoid acting like a child—unless it suited her to do so, of course—but she couldn't help it. There were too many emotions in her—not so—itty bitty body, all of them horrible and evil and desperately wanting out!

A conversation with an actual child, faded by time and willful erasure, rose in her mind.

They were chemicals. Chemicals poisoning her brain. She had to let them out or they would make her sick!

So, she cried, vision cloudy and distorted from the sheer force of her tears. Her breath came in hiccoughing gasps, hurting her throat as she buried her face in someone's chest, their hands stroking her hair as she wiped her nose on their clothes. They were speaking, voice reverberating through them both as they spat angry words. She could probably understand them, if she tried, but she didn't want to.

The universe didn't give two shits about what she wanted. Never had. Alas.

"Kyou."

Her accursed name refused to be denied, forcing her back into proper awareness. She looked up at the person holding her, recognizing the aged face as Junsuke-jii-sama's. He looked older than she'd ever seen him, his wrinkled deeper and his eyes cloudier. Hands still strong and dexterous enough to hold a sword and throw senbon with pinpoint accuracy shook as they pushed her hair from her face, wiping at the blood which caked it.

"Kyou," he said again, voice almost a whisper. "Are you alright? Can you tell me what happened?"

She could, yes, but did she want to? He'd posed it as a question and he was one of the few people she knew who might actually take no for an answer. He was practically her grandpa, after all. Still, it was probably better to get it all over with while everyone was in one place. That way, she could go home, cry to her baa-chan and snuggle her mom!

Wow, the day really had started off so well, huh? Nothing gold can stay.

She pushed herself back from the elder's chest, wiping at her nose with her sleeve and giving the noxious mixture of blood and snot a disgusted glare. She'd have to wash that out, herself, or risk giving baa-chan a heart attack.

"I don't know," she said softly, her words interrupted by a shuddering inhale. "It hurt, jii-chan. It hurt a lot." That the old man didn't scold her for calling him -chan said a lot about how serious their circumstances were, but she couldn't help the tiny swell of triumph that came with it—in fact, she reveled in it, clinging to that emotion like an anchor in the wake of the storm of nothingness that had assailed her.

"Kyou," he said again, his tone even softer this time. "I'm sorry you hurt yourself and I promise we won't ask you to do it again." He said that last bit to someone over her shoulder, the words sharp and biting. "But we need to know what happened. Please, Kyou."

"I really don't know," she said with a whine, sniffling pitifully as she rubbed at her eyes again, the echoes of searing pain still lingering there. "I-I was afraid! I saw everything, all my memories, at the same time! It was too much, jii-chan, and it hurt! My brain was on fire! And then," she looked at her hands, blood and tears and mucus clinging to her fingers. "Then there was nothing."

"Nothing?"

Junsuke glared at whoever spoke, placing a hand on Kyou's head to keep her from turning to look at them. He looked at her with gentle eyes and for the first time Kyou wondered if he actually cared about her and not her potential status as Clan heir—and whether that would change if he knew the truth.

"Can you explain, Kyou?" He asked softly. "We don't understand."

Neither did she. "I don't know…it was like there was a wall between me and my feelings. They were there and I knew they were there, but I couldn't feel them until after I turned off my eyes."

The people around them began murmuring among themselves, but Junsuke kept his whole attention on Kyou, a small, encouraging smile deepening the lines on his face. "Really? That must have been scary."

She shook her head. "No, it wasn't, but I knew it should be. I knew I was supposed to be scared, but it was…far away…," the more she described it, the more it sounded familiar, like she'd heard the words before, but not in her voice. Vague, shadowy memories of another man, skin darker than hers was now, eyes concerned as his mouth smiled, rose up in her mind, traveling across an entire world to remind her of things she never should have forgotten.

Dissociation.

It was one of the things she went to doctors for, in the before times. Before she was Kyou. When her father's name was Antonio, not Shuji, and he loved her like a normal person loves things. She wasn't Julia, anymore, but it seemed her soul wasn't the only thing which could slip through the veils between worlds or whatever they were. Honestly, given how everything else in this world operated, she shouldn't have been as surprised as she was to see her past traumas and afflictions manifesting themselves as freaky, completely unwanted powers of darkness.

At least, she could turn it off, this time.

"Kairi." The word slipped through gritted teeth, leaving a sour taste in its wake. "It's called Kairi." How the fuck she knew that was anyone's guess. Did every Uchiha just magically know their Mangekyou's name, or what? It certainly made since, considering both Kakashi and Obito called theirs Kamui despite never interacting after splitting up the first time. Wait, but Kakashi wasn't an Uchiha…Did…did the sharingan tell people its name!? Were her eyes…sentient?!

Junsuke certainly didn't seem surprised by her announcement. He nodded his head, not at all concerned about the eight year old spouting wisdom sourced from her eyes. "I see. Kairi. That is a good name."

WAS IT?! WAS IT THOUGH?! WAS IT JUNSUKE?

Wait. Wasn't Madara supposed to be the first one to awaken the damned thing? Why the heck were these old guys sitting around nodding their heads like this was a perfectly normal occurrence? Had…Had Kishimoto…lied? Could a god even lie about the world they created? What the fuck was going on?

Sure, it wasn't like she was all that invested in preserving canon, anyway, but this was some serious AU shit. Maybe, she was only salty about it because it wasn't something she did. Hrm.

She looked up at Junsuke, sniffing loudly as she widened her eyes for maximum effect. "Can I go home, now? Kaa-chan woke up."

That opened an entirely new can of worms, if the startled gasps and Junsuke's comically wide eyes were anything to go by.

"Ah, yes." That was Tajima, she was sure of it. "I was going to bring that up after assessing Kyou's sharingan. Hitomi-san was awake and moving on her own when I went to pick him up."

"This is...troubling news." Junsuke didn't seem to realize how weird that was to say with Kyou in his arms. "If Kyou's mother is now able to care for him, then he cannot join your household, Tajima-kun."

Excusez-moi?

Junsuke didn't try to stop her as she turned, this time, and she looked, wide eyed, at her uncle. He was stern as always, his arms crossed over his chest as he looked at the elders, most of whom had abandoned their cushions to crowd around her during her episode. They looked seriously back. It was one of those silent conversations, she was sure, and one she couldn't understand.

"I can't stay with kaa-chan?"

Her words, carefully pitched with plenty of genuine emotion, earned her all of their attention but she kept hers on her uncle. She knew exactly what the asshole was up to. Her father was dead, but she was still around. Under normal circumstances, she was sure he would have just arranged for her to die during one of the many upcoming battles of the campaign season. However, with her eyes straight up naming themselves, he was stuck balancing the good of the Clan and his own gain. He was a bad uncle, to be sure, but he was a good(ish) leader, so killing her when she had a shiny new power to use to the Uchiha's benefit was a pretty blatant waste of resources. Had her mother not woken up when she had—thanks again, Tobirama—then her uncle would have been perfectly justified in taking custody, given that she was technically a member of the head family and he had children around her age.

Her mother was awake, though, and she wasn't about to let her asshole uncle take away her chance to get to know the woman who'd brought her into this strange, new world.

Tajima, to his credit, didn't even try to argue. "No, Kyou, you can stay with your mother. It's fine."

"So, I can go home, now?"

Her uncle pinched the bridge of his nose and waved her off, likely regretting even calling the meeting to begin with. "Yes, yes. Tell Hitomi-san that Atsuko will be by to speak with her, later."

Fuck. Shit. Son of a bitch.

The only person who hated Kyou more than Tajima was his wife. The woman seemed to take personal offense to Kyou's existence, seizing every opportunity to make her life harder than necessary. She could only imagine what she might say to her mother.

"I will," she said, bowing her head as she left Junsuke's embrace. "Thank you, Tajima-sama, elders."

Kyou ran from the room, not the slightest bit concerned about decorum. She had to get out of there. Out of the village. Maybe out of this world, while she was at it. Somewhere human nonsense couldn't fuck her up any more than it already had. No one tried to stop her as she jumped over the walls surrounding the village, dashing into the forest with abandon. She could feel her emotions welling up inside her, again, and she knew she would start crying again, soon. It was so weird. Like, now that she'd been without them for all of ten seconds they were going out of their way to make sure she felt them. Her face was still icky from the last round of crying and she wasn't looking forward to adding another layer of filth. So, when the trees thinned out enough to reveal the sparkle of sunlight on water, she dove headfirst into the pond.

In retrospect, that was probably a bad idea, given how shallow it was. She could see clearly see the sky as she settled on its mossy bottom, disturbing all sorts of things which skittered away to safety. She would definitely need to wash her clothes, after this, and herself, but it was worth it for the way the water filled her ears, shutting out the world above as she focused on using her chakra to keep her blood oxygenated while holding her breath. If that was what she was even doing. Chakra was so weird, she'd long ago stopped trying to assign any scientific realities to it. For all she knew, it was actually making her body temporarily anaerobic, so she didn't need oxygen at all. Who cared? It was magic!

Magic with a time limit.

She surged upward, breaking the water's surface with a gasp. She was more than tall enough to stand in the pond, the water only coming up to her chest, and she longed for a deeper water source. Alas, there were none close enough to the village to be a viable training ground. Besides, the pond had a lot of happy memories associated with it. It'd be a shame to abandon it.

She scooped up some water and splashed it onto her face, scrubbing hard at the yuckiness stuck there. The water dripped red and she scowled.

"What happened? Why are you bleeding?"

Kyou looked up as Warai stepped out onto the water, wide nose sniffing her up and down as he checked her for injuries.

"Warai-san," she said, a wide smile splitting her face. "Guess what! Satan's dead!"

The hyena cocked his head, black ears twitching. "Really? That's wonderful news, cub."

She nodded emphatically. "I know! And guess what else! My mom woke up!"

The big animal sat on the water's surface, looking down at her with what she'd come to recognize as a smile. "That is even better news! What curious timing."

"Yeah, I'm, llike, a bazillon percent sure he's the reason she was out of it this whole time. It would make sense, since she woke up, like, the instant he died." She coated her hands in chakra, pushing herself up and out of the water so she stood before her sensei. "All the more reason to be glad he's gone, right?"

Warai chuffed in amusement, dark eyes bright as he continued sniffing her up and down. "Indeed, cub, but that doesn't explain why you're bleeding."

Ugh. She didn't want to think about it. Already, her subconscious was hard at work compartmentalizing the experience, the terror and pain she'd felt stored away in neat little boxes stored on the highest of shelves in the hopes she'd never get tall enough to reach them.

"My sharingan leveled up," she said simply, momentarily forgetting that game terminology meant nothing to her summons—or anyone in a video-gameless world, curse its lack of technology. "I got a new ability," she amended. "The bleeding is a side effect of the activation."

The hyena said nothing, but he sniffed sharply in disdain as he turned away from her and returned to his spot on the shore.

"Will this new ability interfere in your training?"

Kyou rolled her eyes at his question. Training, training, training. That was all he ever talked about. After so many years as her sensei, he might have developed a hobby or something, but no. That laser focus was good for her, she knew, but it did get a bit boring. "Why would it? It's just another spooky power for my spooky eyes. Nothing special."

Except it was and she just didn't want to think about it. Objectively speaking, being able to separate herself from her emotions was probably a dank ass power. Maybe, if she wasn't…like she was, then it wouldn't bother her so much. The memories of her other father calmly and carefully explaining what dissociation was and why she needed to see doctors for it made it impossible to like this Kairi, though. As helpful as it might be to just stop feeling whenever she wanted, she wasn't so naïve as to think it wasn't without its consequences. People felt emotions for a reason, after all. Besides, what was the point in turning them off if she was just going to feel them all even more after turning them back on? It didn't make any sense.

…

"Fuck," she hissed, kicking at the water and sending angry ripples across the pond's surface. "Fuck."

She knew the perfect application for her stupid no feely eyes. Satan was probably turning in his grave, the sick fuck. He would have totally encouraged—read forced—her to use it in battle, where her emotions and personal reservations made it impossible for her to fight like the other kids in the Clan, values of a bygone world still ingrained in her mind. If she could, just, flip a switch and be good to go, that would change a lot of things. Maybe everything.

She still didn't want to kill anyone, though. It was getting harder to argue her way out of it whenever Warai raised the subject. She knew she would have to kill again. A new batch of babies was getting ready to join the fray and, while she was far from close with any of them, she wasn't about to just stand by as they were murdered. She would have to fight. Properly. End lives. If she could do it without actively agonizing over every little decision as she made them, then she might be able to save a few kids from the horrors of war. To keep their mothers from making the face her baa-chan had made, just last night.

Fuck. She still needed to apologize for being an insensitive bitch. Hrng. She was shit with apologies. Baa-chan more than deserved one, though.

"Hey, Warai-san," she called out to the snoozing hyena. "Do you think you can help me train my new ability?"

He lifted his head groggily, flicking an ear to dispel a fly. "I don't see why not. I am your sensei, cub."

"Cool, just checking."

If she was going to use Kairi, and she already knew she was, then it would be best to actually train with it. She trusted Warai more than anyone in her Clan, for all he'd never seen a Mangekyou sharingan, before. He wouldn't try to sabotage her, for one, nor would he push her too far, too fast in the hopes of accomplishing some agenda. He was her sensei. Not a biased councilman.

Content with her plans, she lay on her back, a layer of chakra keeping her above the water as she looked up at the sky. Even as she tried to relax, to put the horrors of the morning behind her, something kept tugging at the back of her mind. Was there something she forgot?

Fuck.

"I need to tell kaa-chan," she yelled as she bounced to her feet. "I completely forgot! Bye, Warai, I'll see you tomorrow!"

The hyena didn't even move as she leapt into the trees above him, already used to her boisterous comings and goings. She rushed back into the village, running through the streets with wild abandon as she hurried home. She could only pray she wasn't too late.

Of course, she was, because the gods don't answer prayers, no matter what world they're in.

The two women kneeling beside the hearth looked at her with wide eyes as she stood in the doorway, panting from exertion. The sound of the door slamming open had startled them both, but it was her mother who recovered herself, first.

"Kyou," she said with a smile, her tone soft and indulgent. "You're home."

"I'm sorry!" Kyou crossed the room and threw herself at her mother's feet, placing her still damp head in her frail lap. "I'm sorry! I was gonna come and tell you, but I went to visit Warai and I forgot, I'm sorry."

Her mother raised a hand and Kyou shut her eyes, bracing herself instinctively. Long fingers ran themselves through wet hair, nails scraping gently against her scalp.

"It's alright, Kyou." Her mother's voice was kind and her eyes smiling as she looked up at her. "Nothing happened."

"What kind of mess did you get into?" Her aunt demanded, interrupting the moment between mother and child with a sniff and an angry scowl. It wasn't an expression she usually wore. No, she reserved it just for Kyou, leaving her kind Matriarch persona aside whenever she was forced to deal with her wayward niece—er, nephew?

"I was training, Atsuko-sama," she said, not at all willing to start a fight while her mother was watching. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to greet you."

Her aunt scoffed, tucking fluffy Uchiha hair behind an ear with clearly practiced grace. "You should be. Honestly, look at this place! It's worse than a pig sty." She raised a delicate eyebrow at the armor strewn about the floor, crusted in dry blood.

Shit. She knew she should have cleaned.

"I-I'll make some tea!" She scrambled to her feet only to be halted by her aunt's raised hand.

"Don't bother," she said dismissively as she stood, giving their entire home a once over with pitying eyes. "The gods know you don't have enough to spare."

Hey. She was right, but she shouldn't say it.

"I was just telling your mother," she continued as she approached the door, carefully stepping over a discarded gauntlet. "You will received the same amount of rations as you did before. Enough for two people. Your father will be cremated with the other battle dead tonight, and my husband will be saying a few words to honor him. That is all."

She let herself out. Good riddance.

Kyou turned to her mother. "Is that really all she said? Aunty's kind of a bitch, so she probably insulted you or something, huh? It's ok, you can tell me!"

The frail woman smiled at her daughter, reaching out with a shaking hand to pat her on the head.

"It's alright," she said softly. "It's nothing I can't handle."

"But you shouldn't have to," Kyou insisted, quietly preening under her mother's touch.

Something in her mother's face hardened. "Neither should you."

"It's not your fault. It's Satan's! Everything is Satan's fault!"

"Sei…ten?"

Ah. Oops. Kyou rubbed at the back of her neck in embarrassment. "Aha, it means Demon King."

Her mother's dark eyes widened, expression akin to a starteled deer. Then, she laughed, her hand rising up to cover her face as she shook with mirth. Her whole body was vibrating and Kyou was momentarily worried she might actually hurt herself while laughing. Was that possible?

"Oh, Kyou," her mother said, voice light with happiness as she wiped actual tears from her eyes. "That's perfect."

A flush rose on Kyou's cheeks, the warmth in her heart foreign to her in this life. Eagerly, she once again threw herself onto her mother's lap, hiding her face in the coarse fabric of her kimono. Hands buried themselves in her hair, teasing the pin straight locks with gentle pats.

It was only once the warm fuzzies began to fade that she remembered she needed to say sorry to baa-chan. Jeeze, she was really off her game today, huh?

Oh, well, she'd apologize at the funeral.

解離 = Kairi= Dissociation

Because I cut up the obnoxiously long chapter this was going to be, I will be adding more information about the mangekyou in later chapters. Probs the one after next.

I was an obnoxiously tall child. Hit my full height of 5'7ish (~170cm) at the tender age of 10. So, Kyou being almost as tall as Madara despite being four years younger isn't...totally weird...right?

A reminder that, because Madara's name (斑) means speckled, I gave him freckles! I don't mention them enough, but they're there.

I made Kyou's Mangekyou. Find it on tumblr at shinobi-isekai under the shinobi isekai art tag!