I don't own Invader Zim okay? I know I should probably be updating my other stories but this idea for a oneshot hit me. I mean I always love playing with the Membrane family dynamics. But enough of this A/N, on with the fic!
Gaz opened the door to the house and sighed. It was the end of the first day of her senior year and all she wanted to do was get the school year over with. She had spent 11 years of madness with these fools, she couldn't wait to be rid of them Well, at least one of those things driving me mad is gone. She thought as she headed into the kitchen where she found a message from her father on the floating telescreen. "I hope your first day back in school has been a good one. As this is your last year of public education before college, I stress you do your best." Professor Membrane's voice said as she noticed the 'Recorded earlier' on the bottom of the screen.
"Yeah, can't be bothered to meet me via telescreen when I get home." Gaz said as she went to the fridge and pulled out a gallon of milk and retrieved a box of Cocosplodies.
"You know the rules, now that your brother is off at college, no visitors over to the house. I want you to graduate without the distraction of boys." Professor Membrane said.
"If you had paid any attention to my teacher's reports, that won't be a problem, I scare everyone off." She said as she ate the bowl of cereal.
It had been very quiet in the house since Dib had left for college. He had wanted to take a year break between his senior year and college so he could devote more time to spying on Zim, but Gaz had wanted him out of the house. She had waited for years to have the house to herself, so last fall she had spun a tale about how getting an education would help people believe him when it came to the paranormal because there would be proof that he knew what he was talking about besides being Professor Membrane's son. Luckily for her, he bought it and headed off to college last month. Sure he would be back over the holiday season, but that was a small price to pay for a school year all to herself. As she was only a year younger than him, she had followed him all through their schooling. The only times she had this quiet was when she was in 6th and 8th grade when Dib was in another school because of age. However, when she got home, it started up again. This year was going to be different. He was living on campus where he was going to college and couldn't disturb her.
"I'll call every day and tell you how I am doing Gaz if you want." Dib said. "And you can tell me if Zim's been-" Dib started when Gaz cut him off.
"Nope, don't have to do that. Just humor Dad once in awhile." She said as she looked around. "I know where I won't be going to college myself..."
"Why not?" Professor Membrane asked as he helped Dib to move into his dorm.
"Because I don't want to be judged by what Dib does. I don't want the professors treating me different because I am his sister." Gaz said.
"Good for you daughter, make your own legacy!" Professor Membrane said joyfully as Gaz sat under a tree and played her Gameslave III.
Gaz sighed at the memory and put her bowl in the sink and headed up to her room to play her game again. It would have been the fifth time she had beaten Vampire Piggy Hunter: Blood for Bacon but she was determined to have the highest score and quickest time. Iggins had somehow survived the crash years ago and had a record on BoobTube of 3 hours for a speedrun completion that she was determined to beat. As it was the first day, none of the teachers issued homework, but she turned the TV on to the Death Metal radio station and blared it through the house. There was soundproofing in place so the neighbors would not hear it that were put in place after noise violations committed by each member of the Membrane household for various reasons. Once in her room, she laid back on her bed with a smile. Finally, total peace and quiet. She thought as she looked over at Dib's locked room. "And I won't hear anything I don't want to from there again." She said to herself as she started a new game.
As she finished the game, she groaned at her 5 hour completion time and then shut down the Gameslave and headed to bed. The next morning, her alarm rang and she relished in the fact she didn't have to wait for Dib to finish in the shower before she could get in, often with him using a lot of the hot water after spending a night getting into a fight with Zim, or following some ghost who didn't want to be followed and spraying ectoplasm all over him. Since this took into the wee hours of the morning, he'd just get ready for school right afterwards. She relished the independence as she headed off to school to start the day. However, after a few weeks of the same old routines, it began to get boring. The schoolwork she had was incredibly easy so she would always finish homework quickly. After realizing upon closer inspection of Iggin's BoobTube video that he was using hacks to get his time down, Gaz gave up on beating the speedrun record and would often spend her days reading Punch Club, even though she'd had read it many times since Elementary Skool. Maybe I should read some of Kirk Palahinook's other stuff. Gaz thought as she got up and headed to the book store.
Having gotten her license to drive the previous year, she took the car and headed to the mall to see what books she could get to read. Having played out most of the games she cared to, Gaz figured she should spend her free time reading as well. Also, books did not need to recharge so they provided something for her to do when the battery on her Gameslave died and all the charges were in use. As she headed to the mall, she took a turn and saw the cul de sac where Zim was still living. He was standing outside yelling at one of his neighbors for letting their dog take a dump on his yard, something his gnome guards apparently did not catch. She laughed at herself at how pathetic Zim was and sped on.
Gaz headed down to the fiction section to find Kirk Palahinook's latest works and then head out. As she passed the isles, she saw the Paranormal section and peered down it. NO, why in the hell do you want to look down here? You've been here more times than you want when Dib took you to the mall before you could drive here on your own! Gaz thought as she found Suffocate by Kirk Palahinook and headed to the counter to pay for it.
"That'll be 13.25 miss." The clerk said as Gaz laid her money on the counter. He looked up and saw Gaz's face and his eyes widened. "You're the sister of that big headed kid who always came in when the latest paranormal books and magazines came out."
"Yeah." Gaz said looking at the clerk with intense rage. "What of it?"
"Nothing." The clerk said. "Just let him know that the latest issue of Crop Circles Monthly is in for me."
"Well he won't be here to get it. He's gone to college nearly 1500 miles from here. He's probably got it up there." Gaz scowled.
"Geesh, no need to get so snippy at me about it." The clerk said as he put the book in a bag for her. "Just letting you know, I mean he's one of our best customers."
"Well not anymore." Gaz said.
"You almost sound like you miss him..." The clerk said as Gaz spun around and pulled him to her face staring at him with intense loathing.
"Listen here you failed author." Gaz said. "I do not miss my brother. He annoyed the piss out of me while we were growing up and I finally have some peace and quiet to devote to Gaz Membrane. "Just because you wasted tens of thousands of dollars in student loans you will never repay in this minium wage job on a PhD in 15th century Shakespearian Literature waiting for tenure at some fly by night college, does not mean you know what I miss."
"Fine. I won't say a thing again." The clerk said.
"I think I will just order my books of Nile." Gaz said as she headed out the door.
"Yeah, and you can't threaten them for arriving late." The clerk said as Gaz walked out the door, flipping him off.
Gaz drove home, pressing the pedal to the metal and bursting open the door to the empty house and tried to begin to read. I do not miss him. I love this. Gaz thought as she reread the page over and over. Maybe I should change the station. Gaz thought as she picked up the remote and flicked through the channels trying to find something on. Most the music channels she liked were on commercials except for the 70's station that her father had listened to a lot, and she quickly flicked past that. The television shows were not much more enthralling. Reruns of decades long crime shows that pretty much filled the same formula that she could figure out 15 minutes in. I'll just play remote roulette She thought as she hit the channel up button until she decided to stop and then looked at the screen. "Come on!" She screamed as she headed up to her room. "Of EVERYTHING on the 5000 channels we have, MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES?" Gaz moaned as she went to her room and flopped on her bed in rage. "I don't miss him!" She said as she threw one of her flesh eating robot dolls against the wall.
That night she tossed and turned as the clerk's words rang in her mind. Was there some truth to them? There's only one crazy way to find out. Gaz thought as she picked up the phone and called Dib's cell. "Hello?" Dib asked half asleep. It's 2 am and I just got kicked out of the library, they closed at midnight."
"Wow, you used to stay up later than that." Gaz taunted.
"Gaz!" Dib perked up rubbing his temple. "What's going on? Did Dad blow himself up or something?"
"Just called to tell you Zim was yelling at his neighbor for their dog pooping on his yard." Gaz said.
"Last I knew they had a Chihuahua and those are small dogs. I guess they can poop a lot but that means the gnome field has a small blind spot under them if a dog can take a dump right under their noses. No pun intended Gaz." Dib said, sounding as if he had just woken up from a good night's rest and drank a cup of strong coffee. "But that's important to know. Have you been watching him for me?"
"No, just noticed it on the way to the bookstore. Clerk asked about you." Gaz said.
"Oh! Crop Circles Monthly! Is the new issue in? Did you pick it up for me?" Dib asked.
"NO! I am not your little currier picking up your mail. I am sure there's a bookstore or a pharmacy or something, maybe a porn shop that would have it near your campus. Get it yourself. You're a grown man now after all." Gaz said.
"Why would a porn store have a crop circle magazine?" Dib asked.
"I don't know, why would anywhere?" Gaz yelled. "Didn't think there was enough crazy people into that kind of thing to keep publishing it."
"Geeesh, call me this late to insult me?" Dib asked.
"Yes!" Gaz said.
"Whatever, I got a robotics class they want a project for so I could try to make a small chihuahua sized surveillance system to get past Zim's gnomes and into his base and have it send the data to an off site server or into the cloud so that no one can really delete the footage. Better yet, why not have it do multiple things like that, cloud, internal memory, off site server, after Zim destroyed my history report in 9th grade, I knew that backups are important, heck I could connect that signal to DVR or even VHS if I wanted it on various types of backup..." Dib trailed off as Gaz lay back on the bed, hanging up the phone.
"I guess I need that insane rambling after all..." She said as she fell asleep.
So how was that? Good? Bad? Short? Long? Touching? Let me know in a review. In one of the episodes, "The Rise of Zitboy" you can see Gaz reading "Punch Club" which is a spoof of Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk and some of Palahniuk's other works include a book called Choke so I spoofed his name Kirk Palahinook (The first name is a personal inside thing, last I just spelled it wrong) and came up with a synonym for choke in this one. And Nile is a spoof name for Amazon. World's longest rivers and all. But one of my favorite topics to work with in the IZ fandom outside of DATR is the Membrane family dynamics. So dysfunctional but so fun to work with. But enough of that, remember to read (well you just did) and to review! Ciao for now,