A New Me, A New You @ncsupnatfan
Chapter 16

A/N: Hello my dear readers. I have a question for you. This story only has four more chapters and will end before the other one I am posting. Would you like to continue this trilogy or would you like a short story (9 chapters) of Dean and Storm? If you don't know who Storm is, I have two stories called Alone and First Meeting, if you'd like to give them a read before deciding. I will leave it up to you the majority will win. If no one votes, it'll be a coin toss. Hopefully you guys will decide. Enjoy the read... NC

Chapter 16

It was the early hours of the morning and Dean was in a light doze while keeping an ear out for Sam. Whimpers and cries of pain had Dean sitting up and wiping the sleep from his face.

"S'mmy," Dean said. He got up and went to the other bed to find his brother curled up in a ball, sweating and shaking. "Hey bro, I'm here," Dean cooed to him pushing his damp hair from his face.

"Ru-Ruby, cell…" Sam begged as he cracked open his bloodshot eyes.

"You want your cell phone?" Dean asked to get a nod from Sam.

Dean got up and looked around for Sam's jacket, spotting it on a chair. He went through his pockets until he found his cell phone and took it back to the bed. Sam grabbed for it and fumbled with it trying to get it on.

"Here, let me help," Dean offered picking it up from the bed. He got it on and pulled up Sam's contact list to find the name Ruby. "Okay it's dialing." He pressed the phone into Sam's trembling hand and watched as he put it to his ear and listened.

"C'mon, please…" Sam begged waiting for it to be answered. "Pick up…" He shrunk even smaller when the call went to voicemail. "Ruby…Call me…I need it…" Sam got out before letting the cell phone drop to the covers as he buried his face into the pillow to hide his tears.

"Sammy, it'll be okay. Look there's Gatorade in the vending machine. I'll go get you one. Don't need you getting dehydrated." Dean adjusted the covers over Sam's body and tucked them in before picking up his cell and laying in on the nightstand. "I'll be right back." He slipped on his boots and did not bother tying them as he headed for the door. Dean could see how much worse Sam was this morning and knew he had to do something about it. He went to the vending machine and fed coins into the slot and press the button for a Gatorade. An idea started forming in his mind as he headed back to the room.

Soft sobs greeted Dean as he let himself back into the room. He went to the table and opened the bottle, being sure he had his back to Sam. Dean pulled out a pocket knife and drew in a deep breath wondering if he was doing the right thing. He could not stand to see his brother suffering like this when he knew Ruby wouldn't be showing to juice him. He held his index finger over the bottle opening and cut into it, watching as blood dripped into the Gatorade. He let about a tablespoon of his blood mix with the Gatorade before pulling it back and watched as the small wound healed on its own. Dean recapped the bottle and shook it before going to Sam.

"Hey Sammy, I got you something to drink," he told him sitting the bottle down so he could get Sam moved enough that he could lift his upper body to allow him to drink. "Try some of this, maybe it'll help."

Sam could feel his body being moved and groaned weakly. He felt a strong arm under his shoulders lifting him up and let his head roll toward the body of his brother. He could hear Dean's voice talking to him and telling him to do something, but he was not understanding him. Sam felt something being put to his lips and the trickle of a cold liquid filling his mouth. He automatically swallowed the sweet tasting liquid, and with the first taste felt a need for more. He reached his trembling hands up and clutched the bottle Dean was holding, trying to gulp more.

"Easy tiger; don't need you choking," Dean cautioned him as he tilted the bottle back so it would not spill down his face and neck wasting it. He let Sam have about a third of the bottle before pulling it away from him.

Sam whined as he tried to keep his hold on the bottle and stared longingly at it when Dean sat it on the nightstand. He stared to reach for it, but Dean took his hands and would not let go. He let him settle back on the pillow as Sam licked his lips and started breathing a little stronger.

"That's enough for the moment Sammy, let that settle on your stomach. You don't want to make yourself sick," Dean said.

"Good, more?" Sam asked looking at Dean with a pitiful look.

"Yeah, it a bit. Sammy," Dean started. "Who's Ruby?"

Sam's mind was not functioning great yet, but when he heard the name 'Ruby' his body stiffened, and he stared with fright at Dean not sure what to do.

"You were calling out her name and then you tried to call her. I know something is going on with you man. Look at yourself, you're strung out, sweating, have the shakes, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were on drugs. Talk to me bro. I know you were going to tell me something before you had that vision."

Sam closed his eyes and knew he could not hide it any longer and needed to come clean. He tried to sit up and with Dean's help got positioned against the headboard. He just hoped his brother would understand and not leave. He did not think he'd make it on his own.

"C'mon Sammy, tell me," Dean whispered softly as he laid a warm hand on Sam's cool arm.

"She found me after you…After you died…" Sam said. His voice was raw and hoarse. He cleared his throat and tried to continue. "I was…I was at my wits end. I tried everything to get you out!" Sam cried as tears leaked from his eyes. He had the covers clenched tightly in his hands as he stared down at them. "She found me, drunk on my ass and said she could help me. Ruby offered to help me find Lilith so I could end her for what she did to you." Sam stopped and let his eyes dart to the bottle beside. He caught his lower lip between his teeth before asking, "Can I have a little more to drink?"

Dean could see that small dose of his demon blood was helping to take the edge off for Sam and knew he was suffering. With a soft sigh, Dean gave Sam the bottle and watched him drink a couple more swallows before pulling it away again.

"Go on, so she was going to help you?" Dean encouraged.

"Yeah, see, Ruby is a demon and she told me I had to get strong in order to kill Lilith." Sam darted his eyes upward to look at Dean's face to see his reaction, but Dean was hiding any emotions from him. "She told me I had powers and I could make myself stronger if I did something. I needed to be strong to take Lilith on. At first, I was horrified by what she wanted me to do and, well, I was weak and started trusting her…She gave me her blood. I started drinking her blood to make me stronger. And it did, I was able to pull demons from the bodies they were possessing. I could save most of them. It did make me feel like I could actually kill Lilith." Sam stopped not able to look at Dean as his face grew wet from his tears.

Dean huffed out a breath and contemplated what to say. He was not going to tell Sam that Ruby was dead and he had been the one who killed her. He would let that stay hidden forever, best for Sam to believe he had been abandoned by the demon. He didn't want to lose Sam now when he needed him the most. Dean knew he had to be gentle and not blow up at him because Sam was in a vulnerable state and didn't want to push him too hard.

"Oh Sammy, you know you never should have trusted her. She got you hooked on her blood to use and control you. There has to be an underlying reason she pushed you to kill Lilith, we just don't know what it is. Has she left you like this before?"

"Yeah, but she left more blood, so it didn't get this bad," he whispered, when suddenly his whole body shook hard for a moment, before easing off.

"You're going through withdrawals just like a drug addict. This isn't the way to go Sammy. Look at what it's doing to you. We need to get to Bobby's, so you'll have a place to stay while this gets out of your system. You do want to stop this, right Sammy?"

Sam ducked his head with the question and shrunk in on himself a little. Did he want to stop?

"Yes…" he weakly whispered as his voice shook, but could he stop it, he thought. "Are you mad at me for what I did?"

"I'm mad, but not at you. I'm mad that black eyed bitch who did this to you and you better hope she doesn't come back because I will kill her. I'm only worried about you. I know me dying had to have done a number on you, but I'm here now and I'll help you get through this," Dean told him. He reached for Sam and pulled his brother firmly into his embrace to hug him. He heard Sam gasp a sob as his breath hitched and he hugged back. After a few moments, Dean pushed Sam back and wrinkled his nose. "Think you can manage a quick shower before we leave? You are starting to stink bro."

Sam shook his hair back and tried to pull it together as he wiped a hand across his face. He wanted to believe what he told Dean but was not sure he could refuse the blood if it was offered to him. He did not know just how far he had stumbled and what the blood was doing to him, both physically and mentally. A brief smile played across his lips with Dean's remark and nodded yes.

"Let's get you up and to the bathroom," Dean told him pulling the covers back and letting Sam take his arm for support as he shifted his body from the bed.

The world around Sam started to spin when he stood and could feel Dean's arms holding him up. He closed his eyes and drew in a few short breaths before feeling steady enough to shuffle to the bathroom. Dean stood him at the commode and turned to start the water while Sam relieved himself. He helped him get his T-shirt and jeans off before turning around so Sam could drop his briefs and step carefully into the shower.

"I'll get you some clean clothes and get us packed to leave," Dean told him, waiting to be sure Sam was okay.

"Alright," Sam replied. He held onto the wall as he let the hot water wash over his body. It felt good, but the effort was exhausting, so Sam worked on shampooing his hair and washed off the sweat, stink, and grim from his body. He turned the water off and wiped his eyes as a towel was held out to him. "Thanks."

"Be careful getting out, don't need you falling," Dean insisted. "I laid your clothes by the sink."

"Okay, I'll be ready in a few minutes." Sam dried himself before stepping from the tub and quickly sitting on the commode as his trembling legs gave out. He leaned forward and drew in some long breaths before reaching for his briefs and slipping them up his legs and over his hips. He got his other clothes on and stood, leaning on the sink for a moment, collecting his thoughts before reaching for his toothbrush and paste to brush his teeth.

"You 'bout done in there?" Dean called through the partly opened door.

"Yes, just a sec," Sam replied as he spit into the sink. He ran water and cupped his hand to catch it to rinse his mouth. Sam packed his bathroom bag and made his way into the other room on unsteady legs, but he was feeling slightly better. He still had the shakes and felt achy all over, but he could sort of function.

"I got us packed, let me take these to the car and we'll get you settled either in the front or would you prefer to lie down in the back?"

Sam dropped his small bag into the duffel and let Dean take it. He thought about it for a moment trying to decide which would be more comfortable for him.

"You decide, I'll be right back," Dean headed out the door with their bags and Sam made to follow until he saw the bottle of Gatorade still sitting on the nightstand. He changed directions and picked it up as Dean came back into the room. "You ready Sammy?"

Sam looked up for a moment and nodded, walking toward him and allowing him to take his arm. He clutched tightly to the bottle letting Dean guide him outside. The sun had come up and first rays of a new day were shining brightly across the parking lot, making Sam squint his eyes and turn his head away from it, blinded for a moment.

"Okay, I think backseat and laying down would probably be the best," Dean decided for him opening the back door so Sam could climb in. "You can use your jacket for a pillow, and I'll get one of the spare blankets from the trunk."

Sam bunched his jacket and let his body slide down onto the seat as he sighed softly. He bent his legs and felt Dean lay something over his bend frame before closing the door. He closed his eyes and listened to the roar of the engine that settled into a steady purr as Dean pulled away from the motel. He still had the bottle of Gatorade clutched tightly to his chest thinking he would have some more soon. It was not long before he was dozing in a light sleep that was plagued by bad dreams that he fought to get out of. The sounds of music filled the car and Sam barely opened his eyes as he woke long enough to see he was safe, and his brother was still with him. He closed them back and let the music fill his mind knowing he would be okay now.

A/N: Dean can't stand to see Sam's suffering and does the only thing he can think of in hopes it helps. Sam's secret is finally out and they're on their way to Bobby's. Thanks for reading. Reviews would be great. NC

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