Memoria Luxareo @tootytots1
Beanie Boy

I am so sorry this has taken me so long to post, (feels like I always start my posts with that sentence :)) I have really struggled to write this and am still not sure I'm happy with it, but ah well got to post at some point. Thanks so much for all the reviews they mean a lot. Hey, Schalakid I don't actually have an update schedule but I guess its something that I can look into working out something like that, might actually help me update more often. Hope you like the chapter, I'm sorry that not much happens but promise there is more to come soon, will try not leave it so long between updates next time.

"Okay, what's going on?" Pansy asked seating herself across from Blaise, pulling her blanket tighter around her shoulders. A constant staple of the dungeons was the unbearable cold, a draught seemed to scream through from an unknown place and freeze everything in its path. In the summer months it was a welcome relief, but in the winter, it seemed that no amount of layers were never enough. Most of the members of Slytherin tried to gather as close to the fire as possible.

Blaise glanced up at her, pausing in his writing and sending a quick glance around the common room; nearly everyone had already made their way to bed, a rather large debate had broken out about Umbridge and her pink, wily ways. Most agreed that she was an annoyance that was by all intents and purposes making life at Hogwarts drab, the extortionate amount of rules she expected everyone to live by was becoming ridiculous. Others though, a small minority, it had to be said, believed that she was doing the school some good, making life at Hogwarts fairer. To everyone's surprise, the leaders of this minority were, in fact, Crabbe and Goyle and while their arguments weren't exactly eloquent, it was noted that the pair weren't exactly in the habit of speaking much to anyone, except of course to each other.

The only remaining students were Theo, who was pacing in front of the fire and Matty Owes, who was bent over Theo's potions homework, completing it for him. Matty's talents, the Owe's guarantee was that he could write a piece of work that was at least passable, nothing special, but enough to keep most Slytherins out of the teacher's bad books, it would, however, be completed in the same handwriting and style as the person who had hired his services. Of course, he was expensive, being on the of the very few Slytherins that came from a relatively poor family he always charged through the nose, but it was worth it, especially if important work had been left till the last minute.

"Don't know what you're talking about." Blaise shrugged moving to continue with whatever work he had opened out in front of him, a pot of ink acting as a paperweight to keep the scroll from curling. Pansy slammed her hand down on the paper, snapping the quill and splattering ink all over his work and her hand. She however ignored this fact, glaring at him as he inspected the damage, her nostrils flaring slightly.

Weeks had fled by at an astonishing rate and it felt like she'd only had time to blink before their argument was incredibly in the past and they still somehow had not managed to forgive each other. Pansy wouldn't have minded if she could have remembered what it was she was supposed to have done; she'd gone to build bridges and he'd effectively slammed a door in her face, asking her rather sarcastically if she needed to hold Draco's hand while they sorted through their issues. While the argument had given her pause and somewhat confused her, she found herself incensed by Blaise's treatment of her. So, reacting Slytherin appropriate, stuck up her middle finger at his closed door and proceeded to ignore him and stick even closer to Draco and Daphne whenever the occasion called for it or even when it didn't for that matter.

Blaise obviously hadn't said anything about her obvious ignorance to what had made him angry, but the dark cloud of brooding that lingered over his head appeared to get more thunderous as the weeks passed. She'd become so distracted by his strange behaviour that her constant vigil on Draco had somehow slipped by the wayside. She made herself feel a little better with the knowledge that the strange 'Liking Granger' ship had sailed and, had been effectively sunk by the work of genius that was Theo's 'King Weasley' masterpiece. The flailing punch from Potty had all but sealed the deal. The night after the Quidditch match and the fight, Draco had turned his two bruised eyes to the fire and stared and stared, muttering sadly to Pans before slinking off to bed.

"You think he'd be happy. He has everything." Everything? She'd sat there for a while mulling over the word and finding herself more and more confused. Everything? She hated the guy, but she wouldn't have gone that far. No parents, no real home, no real clue about anything in the wizarding world until it smacked him around the face, constantly in and out of the paper for good and or bad. While there was always speculation that the spectacled wonder loved the attention, sometimes she wondered. It wasn't that she wanted to stick up for the boy-wonder, quite the opposite, but something in the way Harry Potter held himself, did not scream attention seeker. Sure, he stuck his nose into tons of things that he need not, but she guessed that was just him trying to prove himself, trying and trying, just like Draco really.

She realised that the 'everything' Draco was referring to was Granger. The thought made her sad and not disgusted as she'd first assumed. Poor Draco. While she could not condone liking the mudblood, she wished she could somehow make him feel better, happier. Merlin knew that Daphne, bless her, though she tried, didn't make him happy, not even close. Theo on the other hand, her mere presence was like Lumos right to his face. She supposed she'd have to tell him not to be so blindingly obvious about it, but then again, it wasn't like Daphne was subtle either. Tell-tale glances, all the high-pitched giggling at some of the worst of Theo's jokes, hanging off Draco's arm but leaning always ever closer to Theo, till she may as well have mounted his lap for all the space there was between them. If Draco noticed he didn't seem to care, he'd stare off despondently into the distance, or at the Gryffindor table and only lock lips with Daphne when one particular Gryffindor appeared.

Pansy resisted the urge to rub her forehead, she didn't want to show any weakness in the face of an argument, still, the headache pounding behind her eyes was hard to ignore. She'd suffered considerable headaches over the tangled knotty mess that her friends were becoming and none of the potions or spells seemed to get anywhere near curing. All the secrets and the lies for what? Just to make sure He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name-But-Messed-Everything-Up-Anyway didn't know about Draco's inclination for one specific muggle-born. She considered telling Draco to be done with all the crap, to tell Granger so she could reject him, and everything could go back to normal; untangled, unmessy, simple. Strangely though there was a part of her that had a sneaky suspicion that Granger wouldn't turn him down and they would be up shit city unable to apparate.

After glancing at his work in disbelief Blaise sat back, meeting her gaze; his eyes almost looked black in the candlelight.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Zabini, whatever reason you have for being a first-class dick, you're going to explain it to me now and it better be good."

Theo paused in his pacing, eyeing his two friends sheepishly. It had not gone beyond his notice that they were not exactly getting on and hadn't been for weeks, steadfastly ignoring one another to the point that being around them had become incredibly annoying. Theo had decided that they would put whatever nonsense they were going through behind them as they had always done, but it seemed that whatever proverbial bee that was buzzing around in their bonnets was in it for the long hall. He winced, he had a feeling that things were about to get incredibly uncomfortable in the common room and while he was always for the spectator sport of watching Slytherins tear into one another, he had a feeling that he would not be allowed to remain an innocent bystander when Blaise and Pansy started exchanging insults.

"Matty, my good man, I think we would be better served completing this elsewhere." He gestured to the papers on the table, offering Matty a wry smile.

"Huh?" Theo cringed slightly; Matty was a small and spotty individual with a large bottom lip that seemed to always weigh his mouth open, it gave the poor chap a look of stupidity that made it difficult for Theo not to make jokes. Unfortunately, he knew that if he did, chances were he would be before Snape desperately trying to explain why he had not managed to complete the homework.

"Continue this, upstairs." He sighed when the boy simply gave him a confused look.

"That's rich coming from you, Parkinson." Blaise ground out, standing up so quickly that the chair he'd been sitting on tipped and clattered to the floor. Matty glanced over, understanding dawning on his face.


"Yes, oh. Now if you don't mind." Matty nodded, quickly gathering up his supplies, glancing every now and again at the arguing pair, clearly curious.

"Excuse me, I came to apologise to you and you slammed a door in my face." Theo ducked his head at the sound of Pansy shrill yell.

"I wasn't in the mood for your excuses." Pansy's face turned bright red, her body shaking with rage as Blaise's insinuation that her attempt at an apology had simply been excuses.

"Excuses? I didn't make excuses." Neither of them noticed Theo ducking out of the room, taking pains to shut the door as quietly as possible behind him.

"Oh please, Draco needed my help. What's that except for an excuse, a shit one at that too."

"What in Merlin's name had Draco got to do with any of this?"

"I don't know, you tell me, you're the one that constantly brings him up. Can't have a conversation with you without you dropping his name in every five seconds."

"And how would you know, you haven't spoken to me for weeks."

"I can still hear Parkinson, and literally the only shit that passes your lips is shit to do with him."

"That's bull…" The door to the boy's dorm swing open and Draco stepped out shouldering a dark coat that reaching his knees. He glanced quickly at his friends, pausing when he noticed how tensed they both seemed.

"Everything alright?" He asked slowly, looping a scarf around his neck.

"Fine, just peachy." Blaise spat, not taking his eyes off Pansy.

"Okay, well…don't mind me." He carried on towards the common room door, hoping that Pansy would not feel the need to follow him.

"Where are you going?" She asked, ignoring the dark look that had fallen over Blaise's face.

"Out." Draco shrugged, not turning to look at her as he opened the door, stepping out into the dark corridor.

"But it's late, you could get into trouble."


"That won't…" the door slammed, "mean anything." Pansy's shoulder slumped, she knew that she should follow him, letting him go alone was tempting fate. For some reason, he and Granger always seemed to find each other. Pansy had once joked that something seemed to draw them together, the serious look that Draco had given her told her that maybe something did, something that she couldn't possibly understand. Still, she needed to sort things out with Blaise, it had gotten well beyond a joke and spending time with her friends was now becoming a not so enjoyable past time.

"Well, you better follow the ferret, I'm not sure he'll be able to find his way back without you." Blaise bit out sarcastically and Pansy rolled her eyes, crossing her arms as she looked at him.

"I'm talking to you, this is getting sorted out, here and now."

"So now I'm finally worthy of your time?" Pansy scoffed at Blaise's question, shaking her head.

"By Salazar, what are you talking about? You're the one that keeps ignoring me."

"Not difficult considering you don't want to be with anyone but Malfoy." Blaise was shouting at her which wasn't really very Blaise like at all.

"I don't…"

"Its always, Draco this, Draco that, every bloodie conversation we've had over the last year has started with his bloodie name."

"That's not true," Pansy said quietly, although she didn't have very much confidence in her argument, she had to admit she'd been somewhat distracted by Draco's predicament, but then again, he'd needed her help and what kind of friend would she be if she didn't offer it.

"You can't go anywhere, do anything unless its somehow to do with Malfoy."

"Look if this is about how I spoke to you a few weeks back, I've already said I was sorry, but Draco…"

"There you go again, fuckin Draco." Pansy flinched as he swore, it wasn't like she hadn't heard him swear before, it was just he never did it that much and definitely not aimed at her.

"This is ridiculous, he's my friend and I'm trying to explain to you that he's going through a tough time at the moment and I'm helping him. What's so wrong about that?"

"What's wrong with it? He's all you can bang on about, all you care about. Honestly, if something isn't to do with Draco fucking Malfoy you don't seem to notice it."

"I notice plenty of things, thank you very much. In fact, you could probably say that I know everything about my friends because I actually care."

"Really? You think you know everything?" He was walking toward her and for some reason, Pansy had to fight the urge to step back, Blaise wouldn't hurt her, she knew that.

"Really." She confirmed with a nod, her lips pressed tightly together, he could challenge her, ask her questions that he was sure no one knew the answer to and she was confident that she would be able to answer them because she did know everything about her friends. Pansy's celebration of victory was cut short because Blaise was kissing her. His palms were against her cheeks, the tip of one finger brushing against the lobe of her ear. He tipped his head and opened his mouth and she followed because there was too much and nothing at all in her head. This was Blaise, her friend, and he was tracing the outline of her lips with his tongue and it was knee shakingly good, so much so that her legs almost gave way beneath her.

Then he was pulling away and she sucked in a breath, feeling slightly lightheaded. Her eyes blinked open and he was staring at her so seriously it made her heart hurt.

"Not everything Pans, nowhere near." He muttered, turning on his heel and stomping up to the boy's dorm room, leaving Pansy blinking dazedly in the middle of the room.

Draco let out a breath of relief when he realised that Pansy wasn't going to follow him, his actions would have been somewhat difficult to explain if she'd have come after him with all her questions. He couldn't explain why the Sensieve's Magic was floating in front of him, bright blue, glistening in the darkness and trailing off into the distance as if it wanted to lead him somewhere. He lifted his hand towards it, smiling slightly at the familiar tingle of it against his skin. It was a feeling that made him think of Granger, a feeling he'd actually come to miss.

For several weeks, during the time that he had attempted to stay as far away from Granger as possible and she had tried desperately to approach him, the Sensieve had been strangely absent. It hadn't tugged them out of the real world and into memories, the feeling of it hadn't flared up when she was near, hadn't made the air stifling when they had been close. Now it was there, tendrils of it curling around his fingers and gently tugging him down the corridor. Digging his hands into his pockets he dipped his head and followed where ever it lead, hesitating only a moment when the blue disappeared through the closed door of Hogwarts. He smiled slightly when he thought of Granger twisting the handle this way and that, a small frown furrowing her brow as she admonished him.

It was almost an age ago when he had found his ancestors wand, which hadn't been moved from its hiding place beneath his bed since the last time he had been pulled into the Sensieve. He'd thought about practising spells again, but something kept stopping him, as if he couldn't effectively do it without Granger's input, her know-it-all voice ringing through his head, telling him what to do.

He opened the door and breathed in the cool air, gentle flakes kissing his chees as they drifted down. There was a light dusting of snow on the ground, the top of the lake a sheet of ice and in the sky, great grey clouds drifted across the black. He hunched his shoulders against the cold, listening to the crunch of snow beneath his feet. The Sensieve's magic was floating in the air, curling towards the rocks where they'd found his ancestors wand.

He stared at the rocks some time wondering exactly what it was the Sensieve wanted to show him, usually it was obvious, the magic would lead him there and then things would glow at least that was how it had always worked before. He could almost hear Hermione's voice in his head telling him to look and though he thought it was a bad idea he found himself clambering over the rocks, slipping twice on the ice that coated it. A quick glance told him that there was a grand total of nothing to find amongst the rocks. He was stupid to think that there would be, everything had already been found; the wand, the ring. He glanced down at his family's emblem on his finger, the stones encrusted in it glinting slightly. He couldn't count the times that he'd looked at the ring over the last few weeks and thought what it would be like not to be a Malfoy. He'd thought about it all the more when he' received a letter from his father, though veiled he could read the references to the dark lord in nearly every sentence. He knew what that meant, it meant his father was in the process of planning something terrible, something that would pull him even further away from Granger as if he needed any help with that. He pulled the ring off his finger slowly, twirling it gently. He considered throwing it across the lake, letting it skitter along the ice, the ice would melt, and it would sink into the darkness.

He sighed, placing it back on his finger. He was a Malfoy and he always would be, throwing his ancestors ring away wouldn't change that. He wondered whether Granger missed him even a little bit, missed their adventures. He doubted it but there was always the hope. He knew he missed her, his heart ached with how much he wanted to talk to her, wanted to go back in time, back to the corridor, back to the moment that he'd almost kissed her.

He froze suddenly, glancing up when he heard the door to Hogwarts creak open, a figure stepping out into the snow, breath fogging the air. He watched as the figure held out a hand, catching the falling flakes before carrying on around the lake. He hunkered low against the rocks, hoping that the black of his coat would blend in with the black of the rocks. He wondered who in Merlin's name would be out so late.

His heart hammered in his chest when the figure got closer and he realised that it was Granger. Hesitating only a moment he stood, watching as she stilled, her breath misting in the air as she crossed her arms over her chest, rubbing her hands over the tops of her arms. He stepped down from the rocks, careful not to slip, he didn't want to laugh at him as well as hate him.


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