The Crack Pot @maschl
The Animagus Transformation Potion

The Animagus Transformation Potion

Summary: Harry and his friends take a potion to turn into their Animagus forms. The results are not quite what they had hoped for.

"So, that's all for today," Harry announced, "Now, let's all head back to our common rooms, and try to not get caught by Umbridge or her minions."

It was the end of the first DA meeting in the Room of Requirement after the Christmas holidays. They had made some good progress with the Reductor hex, and Harry was quite knackered.

As he was about to gather his book bag, he noticed Hermione approaching him.

"Harry, Harry, the potion is ready!" the brunette whispered excitedly.

Harry's eyes grew wide, and he smiled broadly. The Animagus Transformation Potion had been Hermione's secret project for the last months. It would allow a witch or wizard to directly turn into their Animagus form, without the need of any tedious training. It was notoriously difficult to brew, but apparently, Hermione had finally managed to finish the potion.

"That's great, Hermione!" Harry exclaimed. "When can we take it?"

"I have it with me," Hermione answered. "It's enough for eight people."

"Great," Harry said enthusiastically.

He turned towards the students that were about to leave the room.

"Ron, Fred, George, Ginny, Neville, Luna, could you please stay back?" he called out.

The Weasley siblings, Neville, and Luna gathered around Harry and Hermione with curious expressions on their faces.

"What's this about?" George asked.

Harry held up his hand in a placating gesture. Only when all other DA members had left the room, he began to speak.

"Hermione has finished the Animagus Transformation Potion," Harry announced to the others' cheers. "We could take it together right now."

The others all knew about Hermione's project already. Mostly because they had all been involved in stealing various potion ingredients from Snape at one point or another. It had been risky, but the advantages of gaining an Animagus form would indubitably be worth it.

"Well done!" Fred exclaimed and patted the girl on the shoulder.

"I'm in," Neville said with a grin.

"I just hope that I won't turn into a Blibbering Humdinger," Luna said serenely.

Hermione scowled, and Harry shook his head with amusement.

The seven Gryffindors and one Ravenclaw sat down in a large cycle on the pillows in the room.

Hermione then removed a large potion phial and several small cups from her book bag. She arranged the cups on the floor in front of her and poured the potion into them in equal parts. Once done, she handed a cup to each of her excited friends.

"Anything we have to be careful of before we start?" Harry asked, eyeing his cup with a little anxiousness.

"Not really," Hermione answered, "It's really quite straight-forward. You drink the potion, turn into your Animagus form, and concentrate on your wish to be human again to turn back. For any emergencies, I have learnt the Animagus Reversal spell. But I don't expect that we'll need it."

"That is so cool!" Ron exclaimed. "Just wait what cool animals we'll turn into! I bet we'll become lions because we're Gryffindors!"

"Or maybe we'll even become magical animals like Griffins," Harry added excitedly.

"That would be amazing!" Neville agreed. "It will give us so much of an advantage in the war. Just imagine us becoming tigers and lions and other large predators for fighting."

"If I had to fight Death Eaters, I think I'd rather be a human with a wand than a lion without one..." Ginny said sceptically, and Hermione nodded in agreement.

"What? That's mental!" Ron exclaimed. "Who wouldn't want to be a lion?"

"Well, anyway," Harry said quickly to prevent the impending argument, "Who wants to go first?"

"I'll go!" Ginny volunteered immediately. "But I hope that I won't be a lion."

She downed her cup and emptied it with one gulp.

For a moment, nothing happened, but then Ginny disappeared with a swirl of colours. A moment later, a small auburn pony stood in her place.

"PONY!" Luna exclaimed, utterly delighted.

She shot up, ran towards the animal and started petting it affectionately. "Ooohhhhh, you're sooo cute!"

"Well, congratulations, you're not a lion," Harry stated flatly.

Fred and George snickered.

A moment later, there was another swirl of colours, and a disgruntled Ginny stood in the place of the pony.

"Awww!" Luna pouted. "Please turn back!"

"A pony? What's a pony good for?" Ginny complained.

"Your fault for not wanting to be a lion," Ron gloated.

"Ron, you can't choose your Animagus form," Hermione said with exasperation. She turned towards Ginny and continued, "And a pony isn't so bad, really. You really were rather cute."

Neville nodded in agreement, but then quickly lowered his gaze to the floor and flushed crimson.

"Cute? What's cute good for?" Ginny replied angrily, "Name one situation where it would be advantageous to be a pony!"

Hermione opened and closed her mouth several times, but apparently, she couldn't come up with a good answer.

"Ginny, it's all right," Harry interjected. "There's no use in being upset about your form. Let's just continue, shall we?"

"YAY!" Luna exclaimed and downed her cup.

The blonde girl disappeared, and the other students blinked.

"Quack quack quack!"

In her place stood a duck.

"Uhm, well, I guess being a duck has its uses?" Harry said to the duck after a pause, "Maybe for spying or something like that? At least you can fly."

"And you're kinda cute, too," Ginny added generously.

"Quack quack quack!" answered the duck. It spread its wings and fluttered a few feet into the air.

Then, the duck swirled and turned back into Luna. The blonde girl ran towards Hermione and embraced her in a tight hug.

"Thank you for turning me into a duck!" she exclaimed as if her greatest wish had just come true. "It's not as good as a Crumple-Horned Snorkack but way better than a Umgubular Slashkilter!"

"Uhm, you're welcome?" Hermione answered and awkwardly patted the blonde girl's back.

"Okayyy, I'll just continue, then, all right?" Harry said.

He raised his cup and carefully sniffed at the potion. It smelled a bit like rancid milk, but considering what many other potions tasted like, he figured it could be worse. He downed the potion and gulped it down quickly. It tasted like rancid milk, too.

His vision blurred. He blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, he looked down on two long arms that were covered with brown, long-haired fur. He had three long fingers on each hand, ending in long, curved claws. They looked rather dangerous, but he noticed that he didn't feel strong enough to move his arms quickly. In fact, he didn't feel strong enough to even hold his body upright. His body length was about three feet as he lay on the floor. He also felt very tired.

Then, it dawned on him: He was a sloth! How could he be a sloth? He wasn't even that lazy! Not compared to the other boys in his dorm, at least. Life was so unfair!

He looked up, startled, when the twins and Ron burst into loud laughter. He tried to glare at them, but in his current form, an angry glare wasn't very intimidating. He turned away from the Weasley boys and noticed the perplexed expressions of Hermione, Ginny, and Neville

Luna, in the meantime, was walking towards him with a blissful smile. But before she could start petting him, too, he concentrated on turning back into a human, and his vision blurred again. A moment later, he was back in his own body.

"Well, yes, so that's that," he muttered. "I guess I do like to hang out and relax. But still..."

"I'm sorry, Harry," Hermione said dejectedly. "I know that doesn't help us much..."

"Voldemort versus the Sloth!" George wheezed between bursts of laughter.

"All hail The-Sloth-Who-Lived!" Fred exclaimed.

"Yes, yes, very funny, you two," Harry grumbled.

"Come off it, it's not Harry's fault that he's a sloth," Hermione exclaimed with annoyance.

Ginny snorted but shot Harry an apologetic look when he glared at her.

"It's all right, Hermione," Harry said resignedly, "Let them laugh. I bet your form will be more impressive. You would make a great lioness."

Hermione smiled at him. "Thanks, but I don't want to be a predator, ripping out people's throats. But I hope it's something useful. Maybe something inconspicuous that's good for spying and reconnaissance."

She raised her cup and downed it.

There was a very large swirl of colours, and Harry jumped back with a surprised yelp.

Hermione had turned into a giraffe. The giraffe had to bow its neck to fit under the ceiling and stood shakingly on its thin legs.

All the other students gaped at the large animal before Hermione reappeared with another large swirl of colours.

"BLOODY HELL!" the irate girl screamed. "A giraffe? A BLOODY GIRAFFE? What traits do you even need to have to become a bloody giraffe? I spent three bloody months brewing this bloody potion so that I could become a BLOODY GIRAFFE!?"

"Hermione, dear, please calm down," Harry said soothingly and embraced the girl in a gentle hug. "There's nothing wrong with being a giraffe. I guess it's useful if we have to... uhm... kind of... I don't know... fetch something from the top of a large tree? And I guess you do have rather long and nice legs, and-"

Hermione eeped and Harry snapped his mouth shut, both teens blushing heavily.

There was an awkward silence, until George spoke up, "Well, in the interest of not enraging Hermione any further, let's just ignore what just happened and continue, shall we?"

"I think we shall, dear brother," Fred said. "Cheers, Gred!"

"Cheers, Forge!"

The twins raised their cups and downed the potion.

"Gak gak gak gak!"

"Gak gak!"

In the place of the twins stood two three-foot-tall penguins. King penguins, to be exact. The penguins looked at each other and started to gakker excitedly once more while waving their wings.

The other students in the room laughed at the penguins' antics, even though Harry couldn't quite hide his disappointment that the twins' form, while amusing, was rather useless, too. Hermione's slight frown indicated that she had similar thoughts.

"Well, they are kind of cute, too. And useful if we want to swim," Ginny said consolingly.

Luna, in the meantime, had approached the animals again and now shook the wing of the penguin on the left.

"Hello Mr Penguin, I'm Luna Lovegood," she introduced herself.

"Gak gak gak!" answered the penguin.

Then, the twins reappeared with a swirl of colours. Luna was still holding Fred's hand.

"Thanks, Hermione," George said encouragingly. "We really like our forms."

"Bah!" Ron sauntered into the middle of the group.

"I'll show you," he announced confidently, "I bet I'll become a lion."

With that, he downed his cup.

Ron disappeared in a swirl of colours. There was only an empty space left, and Harry wondered where Ron had disappeared to.

Then, he noticed something small lying on the floor.

"EEEWWWWW!" Ginny exclaimed.

On the floor lay a rather large, brown slug.

Harry grimaced.

"Well," Hermione muttered, "it mostly eats, doesn't move much, has no higher cognitive functions, and is rather disgusting. A good fit, actually."

"Hermione!" Harry exclaimed with faux indignation. "How can you say such a rude thing?"

"Oh, don't worry," Hermione said dismissively, "Ron didn't hear that. Do snails even have ears?"

Harry shrugged. "You're the walking encyclopedia, not me."

The twins burst into laughter once more. Not even Luna seemed inclined to approach and pet Ron's form.

There was another swirl of colours, and Ron reappeared lying on the floor.

"Ough, that felt really weird," he muttered absentmindedly. "But I'm really hungry for some salad, now. Does anyone have salad?"

The twins, Ginny, and Neville laughed out loud.

"Well, that was very impressive, Ron. You have definitely shown us," Ginny said mockingly.

"Maybe you could try to fight Death Eaters by making them sick?" George suggested.

Slowly, Ron managed to gather himself again. His ears turned crimson, and he glared at Hermione.

"You, it's your fault!" he shouted and got to his feet. "You messed up the potion!"

"Ron, back off, you know that's not true," Harry said forcefully and moved in between Ron and the girl. "Hermione didn't mess up. Otherwise, the potion wouldn't have worked at all. It's no one's fault what our Animagus forms are. Just let it go!"

Ron crossed his arms and huffed but remained silent.

Harry shook his head with exasperation and turned towards Neville. "Nev, you're the only one left. What are you waiting for?"

Neville gulped nervously. But then he raised the cup to his lips and emptied it.

There was a gigantic swirl of colours, and suddenly Harry was pushed back by what appeared to be a huge greyish-blue wall moving towards him.

"Get back!" Harry shouted and pulled Hermione backwards as the wall moved towards them.

"Aaarrgghh!" another male voice screamed. Whether it was Ron or one of the twins, Harry didn't see. Soon, he and Hermione were pressed between the wall of the room and the blue wall before them.

"NEVILLE, TURN BACK!" Hermione screamed frantically while she hastily tried to fumble her wand out of her pocket.

Harry then realised that the blueish wall before him was not a wall at all, but the hide of a body. Of the body of an eighty feet long and fifteen feet wide blue whale.

Only a moment later, the mass of flesh retreated, and with a massive swirl of colours, Neville reappeared in the middle of the room.

"Oh, Merlin! I'm so sorry!" the boy exclaimed. "Are you all right?"

From the other side of the room, Ron, the twins, and the two other girls approached Neville. Harry was relieved to see that everyone appeared unharmed.

"Yes, we're all right," a shaken Hermione said.

The twins and Ginny nodded, slowly coming out of their own shock.

"I liked your form, but let's try it out in the Black Lake the next time, okay, Neville?" Luna asked timidly.

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry," Neville agreed.

"No, I'm sorry," Hermione said, "If it's anyone's fault, it's mine."

"No, Hermione!" Harry disagreed immediately and took the girl's hand to console her. "It's no one's fault. It's okay. Nothing bad happened. All right?"

Neville and the girls nodded.

"Well," Harry said after a pause, "I guess that's it. I suppose we've all learnt a valuable lesson today... Though I'll need a while to figure out what it is exactly..."

The others nodded in silent agreement, and together the eight shaken and disappointed students left the Room of Requirement.


Three years later (maybe)

"I'm invincible!" exclaimed Voldemort with an evil laugh as he walked through the Forbidden Forrest to join his Death Eaters' assault on Hogwarts.

"With the dark rituals done and the wards around my person complete, no magic, no human, no magical animal, no mundane beast of prey, and no reptile can harm me! Nothing can go wrong, now! MUAHAHAHA!"

Suddenly, a brown mass of fur fell on the Dark Lord from the tree above him.

Before Voldemort could react, three long claws were driven deep into his chest.

"NO! It can't be!" Voldemort exclaimed as the life left his eyes. "NNNNNOOOOOOO!"

A/N: So, yeah, that happened... Don't know what possessed me to write this. If anyone wants to turn this into a multi-chapter story on how this random assortment of animals drives out Umbridge from Hogwarts, fights Death Eaters, and destroys Horcruxes, I'd love to read it... But I won't be the one writing it. Not for now, at least. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I'm always grateful for any feedback.

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